Arrrgh!!!

Arrrgh…..where to start?? Red Eagle has been kind enough to set me up with this blog. I’m rather new to this world, although I have visited a few blogs which have been suggested to me. Frankly, I’m amazed that she would take me on, because I am a technological idiot. T…..you get extra brownie points and a lot of polish on your halo for your good works! <G>

For those of you who choose to follow along, who don’t know me, you’ll see people call me Buffy or Kitty. My family calls me Kitty; Buffy is my on-line alias. I started chatting in the spring of 1999. I was sitting at the computer trying to get into a chatroom, and was faced with the dilemma of needing a NAME. “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” was on in the background, and I simply appropriated her name. I’m about as far as you can get from Buffy in real life, but that was fine with me. Unfortunately, now everyone knows me as Buffy, so I’m sorta stuck with it. Besides, I can NEVER think of a name when I need it. I loved the guy who named his boat "Cutty's Ark." Why can't I think of things like that!?

I live in the Chicago suburbs, and am married to the famous, or infamous, Fred. That’s the Fred who fell off the roof in November and severely sprained an ankle, and the same Fred who tried to bring down a thief who was eight inches taller and 25 years younger, and the same Fred who limped for months when he ripped a hamstring chasing said thief! This is also the same Fred who is addicted to sailing, who makes me a boat widow every summer. I swear I’m going to take an axe to that boat one day!

In another life, I was a grade school band director. In this life I am an office. My mother lives with us, and she has reached the point in her life where she no longer drives, so I am her chauffeur. Two of my passions are gardening and quilting. You’ll see me bitch about weeds on a daily basis for the next six months. The other addiction seems to be communicating on-line.

I’m at a point where I find the quirks of life interesting. Perhaps some of you will find them interesting, too.

I'm delighted to be here. Thanks again Red Eagle!

We are aficionados of some very silly movies. "Princess Bride" is surely at the top of that list. Who can ever forget Billy Crystal saying "To blathhhhe" trying to avoid the subject of True Love. And then there's the Bishop with the speech impediment..."Wuvvvve...TRU Wuvvve."
Someone once said:

"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a fairy tale."

Perhaps that's why I enjoy the movie "Roxanne" so much. Love lifts Steve Martin's character out of an ordinary life, and wraps him up in a fairy tale of joy and hope. We all hope for the same kind of luck; luck that makes our fairy tale come true.

Another wise, but anonymous person said:

"You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry someone you can't live without."

I wonder how many of us have settled for less than true love sometime in our lives? There are SO many things that confuse us as we look for a life partner...great sex...security...friendship, that perhaps we are lulled into accepting less than true love. Shouldn't your true love be the one who supplies those pieces of you that are missing, and makes you whole?

Bertrand Russell said: "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." I love him..I love him not...I love him...I love him not. Or maybe the thought goes...Will my family like him, will my business partners think I've made a good choice, will my friends like him, or will I loose my friends if I commit to him? All those things interfere. They keep us from listening to our hearts.

Here's a line in a movie titled "Dream for an Insomniac:"

"Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love,
It's a waste of your time.
There are too many mediocre things in life.
Love shouldn't be one of them."

I'm still pondering the subject of love. Pardon me while I try to figure out just what I think about it. <G> You're welcome to weigh in on the subject.

Okay.....Okay.....The shower wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. The apartment was lovely, the brunch was exceptional, the company was genial, and we only had to play ONE game! YES!!!

The givers of the shower did something cute that I hadn't seen before. They asked the groom to answer questions about the bride or himself, and then each time she opened a gift, they quizzed her to see if she could tell how he had answered the questions. She got most of the answers right, and enjoyed the ribbing on the few she missed.

I live in the western Chicago suburbs and had to travel to the farthest reaches of NE Chicago for this shower. I had some concerns about making the trip because I was going to have to drive through parts of Chicago I've never seen before, but it all turned out fine. I took two tollways and a freeway and a three mile stretch of Lawrence to get to this lovely quiet neighborhood. It took me about an hour and 20 minutes going and an hour returning. God was sitting on my shoulder the entire way. *S*

And I STILL think most showers need a fresh approach! *G*

<b>Dis.....</b>As you know, I'm very new to blogging, but I was delighted tonight to learn that I am involved in an activity that is still considered to be the newest trend in online communication. We were watching the Lehrer Report this evening and one of the segments was on blogs. Do you recall Trent Lott's recent political downfall? It seems it was brought about not only by Mr. Lott's own mouth, but by political bloggers who kept his words alive for several weeks until the regular news media recognized the ground swell and focused on it.

The TV program focused primarily on the legion of blogs "penned" by people interested in politics, but commented on those that focus on other subjects, such as pornography and knitting. There is a woman at MSNBC who reads blogs each day to get a feel for the trends and interests, and they have assigned several journalists to blog each day. (Actually, having the cable journalists blog doesn't really make sense to me, but she must have had a purpose in doing it.) I was truly surprised that they ignored the Comments feature of a blog. I caught T-bone saying he was a comment whore, and I know just how he feels.

At any rate......I'm so glad T made a place for me among you!

<b>Dat...</b>
If you are interested in herbs, growing them, using them in food or for medicinal purposes such as aromatherapy, I moderate a Yahoo Group called "AnHerbGarden." You're welcome to join us. We do NOT consider marijuana an herb, thank you very much, but we discuss most everything else! lol All levels of ability and interest are welcome

<b>Dis...</b>
Who said:

When we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.

<b>Dat....</b>
In annual beer consumption per person, the Czech Republic is #1, followed by Ireland, Germany, Austria, Luxembourg, Denmark, United Kingdom, Belgium, Australia and Slovakia. The US comes in 12th at 84.4 liters per person. Personally, I prefer wine, so someone else has had my beer for low these many years.

<b>Dis....</b>
I don't know that Texas T-bone will ever read this, but if you do.....stick to resolution number five and keep shaving. *grins* A new study shows that men who don't shave every day have less sex and are 70% more likely to have a stroke. (info courtesy of Cosmo. Catch my thoughts on Cosmo in a coming post.)
Wouldn't ya know, I'm married to a guy whom I've never seen without a beard. My Dad, my brother and my ex all had/have beards, and Speedbump had a mighty fine beard the last time I saw him. (Ladies, that man will make you drool. Wait 'til he smiles at you!)

I'm not obsessing over this data, because I haven't seen the research. The sample could have been skewed or too small. I'll wait for the AMA to start talking about it. Until then, this was just one of those quirkie little things that caught my attention.

Thhhhhat's all, folks! Come again, soon!

I've been bitten by the Domestic Goddess bug. Last night I cleaned out our bedroom closet, and this morning, I worked ahead on meals for the week. I finally got the new wreath made for the living room fireplace, and I've been working on a "to do" list for the coming month as we get ready for my step-daughter's wedding. I did all the little stuff that takes up so much of our time, watering newly planted seeds, starts from the nursery and houseplants, laundry, dishes, making the bed. It's amazing how many hours get frittered away in a day with stupid repetative chores! I love how my home looks when all the chores are done, but I sure hate having to do it again and again and again......

DH and I both had appointments at the eye doctor this afternoon. I was surprised to find that just my left eye prescription had to be tweaked. I always assumed that both eyes changed a little bit at the same time, not independently. Isn't it astounding what an exam and a pair of lenses can cost??

I've been dozey all afternoon, so it's going to be an early night, but I stopped in to read the blogs that T has linked for me. I saw Jet's comment about Desiree's blog, and went to visit. When I started reading the comments there were FIFTY-THREE of them. I haven't learned to create a link yet, so you'll have to go read JET's blog.

The subject matter there is pretty deep. It started out being singles who seek out married people to have an affair, and somehow morphed into marrieds having affairs with marrieds. And then it became a two way conversation. The important thing is.....I was reminded just how public blogs are. There are times when I'm tempted to say personal things, and this was a superb reminder of just how public this forum is. You can't assume that you are anonymous, or unread.

Sooooo, with that sobering though in mind, I'm gonna toddle down the hallway and grab some zzzzzzz's. Good night, all!

It seems that the subject of safety has been on everyone's mind, lately, especially car safety. I saved an article from Cosmo on the 8 Must-haves for Your Car, thinking that I needed to outfit the car if we were going to do any summertime driving.

This is what they recommended:
1. A cell phone and charger that plugs into the car
2. A flashlight and spare batteries
3. Bottled water and protein bars
4. Candles, flares and matches in a waterproof container
5. A recent map of the area in which you are traveling
6. A blanket
7. A first aid kit
8. A bag of sand and a shovel, in case you get stuck in the snow

Okay....most of these things are pretty easy. I'd need a reminder to swap the protein bars every now and then, so they didn't turn to sawdust before we needed them.

It seems to me that you can get a folding shovel to carry in your car. Otherwise, I'd be likely to carry one only in the winter.

I guess I'll have to do some research on what should be in a first aid kit. The one I used to carry was pretty ineffectual, so it's time to get my act together and be prepared. I had a friend who was a driver's ed instructor, and he came upon an accident and needed serious stuff in his first aid kit. He was prepared, but shaken about the aid he had to give. So I'll surf and post my findings later.

I plan to go looking for a plastic container to hold all these things, except for the phone, the blanket, the sand and the shovel. I already have the phone and a blanket, so I'm part way there!

While I was considering posting the list of Must-Haves, I received an e-mail with general safety tips for women. It makes sense to post it here.

TIPS ON STAYING SAFE...

Tip from Tae Kwon Do:

The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you
are close enough to use it, do!

Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans:
if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT
HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are
that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse
than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN
LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car:
Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out
the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't
see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

Last night I attended a personal safety workshop, and
it jolted me. It was given by an amazing man, Pat
Malone, who has been a bodyguard for famous figures
like Farrah Fawcett and Sylvester Stallone. He works
for the FBI and teaches police officers and Navy SEALS
hand-to-hand combat.

This man has seen it all, and knows a lot. He focused
his teachings to us on HOW TO AVOID BEING THE VICTIM
OF A VIOLENT CRIME. He gave us some statistics about
how much the occurrences of random violence have
escalated over the recent years, and it's terrible.
Something like 99% of us will be exposed to, or become
a victim of a violent crime.

Here are some of the most important points that I got
out of his presentation:

The three reasons women are easy targets for random
acts of violence are:

1. a. Lack of Awareness: swing your arms, stand straight up.

  b. Wrong Place, Wrong Time: DON'T walk alone in an
alley, or drive in a bad neighborhood at night.

2. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after
shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their
checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO
THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is
the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the
passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you
where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK
THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

3. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot,
or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at
the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car
from the passenger
door. Most serial killers attack their victims by
pulling them into their
vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your
vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting
alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to
walk back into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better
paranoid than dead.)

ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
(Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and
the perfect crime spot).

If the predator has a gun and you are not under his
control, ALWAYS RUN! (The predator will only hit you
(a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it
most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN! )

As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the
serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man,
who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting
women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle,
which is when he abducted his next victim.

Pat Malone told us the story of his daughter, who
came out of the mall and was walking to her car when
she noticed 2 older ladies in front of her. Then she
saw a police car come towards her with cops who said
hello. She also noticed that all 8 handicap spots in
the area were empty. As she neared her car she saw a
man a few rows over calling to her for help. He wanted
her to close his passenger side door. He was sitting
in the back on the driver's side, and said he was
handicapped. He continued calling, until she turned
and headed back to the mall, and then he began cursing
at her. In the meantime, she wondered why he didn't
ask the 2 older ladies, or the policeman for help, and
why he was not parked in any of the empty handicap
spots. As she got back to the mall, two male friends
of hers were exiting, and as she told them the story
and turned to point at the car, the man was getting
out of the back seat into the front and the car sped
away. DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you
know. It may save a life.

Why do weddings make me cry?? At a time when everyone else is quietly happy, I'm sitting there trying to sureptitiously staunch the flow of tears. It's not that I'm not happy for the bride and groom; I LOVE the ceremony, and have faith that they are doing a good thing. I guess it's just an overload of emotion. Whatever, it's sure a mascara nightmare!

Today, DH and I will be going to the wedding of the daughter of one of my quilting buddies. I've never met the girl, and I'm likely to cry! lol Today is Friday, and the wedding is at 4:30 in the afternoon. Doesn't that strike you as a dificult time?? It's so early that most of the guests won't be off work yet, but it was the only slot the church had open when the bride chose her date. It seems we've come to a time when the actual ceremony is less important than the reception or dinner following it.

DH's daughter is getting married May 31st. This month is going to FLY by. I figure I finally have to give up and do the Spring cleaning I've skipped for the last 14 years. The out of town guests will be invited to our house between the wedding at noon, and the reception at 5:00. I've been working in the gardens for a month already, and I have LOTS more to do. A shipment of bare-rooted plants came in on Wednesday, so I have to get them in the ground tomorrow or risk loosing them.

My stepdaughter chose to be married in an historical chapel. They are allowing them two hours...that's from the moment they begin setting up the flowers, to the moment we are out the door. Just TWO HOURS! Talk about feeling rushed. And since the only slot left was at noon, there's a long wait until the reception. Still, I think she's made good choices. We just have to adapt, as my friend and her family are doing.

My youngest sister went with me shopping for a dress. I had hoped to be in a sage green dress, or perhaps something in plum. Both of those colors are in the beading on the bride's dress. Unfortunately, the only dress that looked decent was black. It's a long black tube, with an over tunic in black and silver and sparkles. I've been obsessing about it, because first of all, I wasn't sure about wearing black to a wedding. THEN, I worried about wearing something so glitzy at noon. We've solved the issue, I think. The groom's mother is wearing a black and white knee length dress. I'm going to find a white jacket and wear that over the black dress for the wedding, and then she and I will be dressed in the same colors, and both our husbands will be in black tuxes. She will be changing for the reception, and I will ditch the white jacket, and put on the glitzy black and silver top. I'm feeling much better about this. Now, I just have to find a jacket, shoes, jewelry and a slip! (Sorry guys.....be happy I didn't go any further into those details! lol)

Oh!.......And waterproof mascara!

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

You'll be happy to know, I didn't flood the church! As I told Desiree, about two-thirds of the women, and I, quietly dabbed away tears as the Bride walked up the aisle with her father. The wedding was lovely (eat your heart out, all who couldn't attend), and the reception was wonderful! The food was tasty, the music was superb, and the company very genial. Even DH and I, who don't dance a lot any more, spent some time on the dance floor.

This morning, DH and I went shopping! I've had a list of repairs that have gone waiting for ages, and this morning we went to Home Depot to pick up the materials we needed to get them done. I didn't realize I merely had to say......"We're going tomorrow!" or I would have done this a lot sooner. We picked up a doorbell button, a flourescent light, a ballast for the mudroom light, replacement towel bars (don't ask how I damaged one.....), replacements for the floor registers, potting soil, grass seed, half a flat of marigolds, and some boat stuff. Repairs, here we come!

Then, we visited Trader Joes. What a wonderful store! I picked up chevre and olive tapenade, and a crispy cracker/flatbread, and had them for lunch. Yum!! That tapenade would be yummy on muffaletas. Trader Joes has such interesting things on the shelf, you could spend hours browsing. We picked up four types of frozen appetizers to try. If they work out, we'll serve them after the wedding when we host the out of town guests for the afternoon.

I was visiting some of the blogs that I have links to, and read that a blog is supposed to be interesting! Boy, have I missed the boat! lol I figured it was catharsis, or my personal counselor, or my Day-timer. Who-da thunk I was supposed to be entertaining you! Well.....it would be in poor taste to offer sex...when you all do it so much better (After all.....JET will tell you I can't remember HOW!!!lol) I don't have any money stories to post, or pictures of babies or babes, or flowers!..... I guess I'll just have to ponder the situation.

Have a good Saturday night!

I used to sleep like a rock. For years I could fall asleep just about anywhere, and sleep for 8 to 10 hours. I'm pretty sure that I've slept through at least two tornadoes. I never understood insomnia.

Well, tonight I have insomnia, and I have it bad! Over the past year I've developed a lot of discomfort that peaks when I'm trying to sleep. The doc thinks it's arthritis. During the day I keep busy, and generally ignore the discomfort, but when I stretch out in bed, I'm likely to toss and turn, trying to find a comfortable position.

DH made it to bed tonight before I did, and between his snoring, and my aches, I just gave up and came to my computer. The one disadvantage about talking to people around the world is that they are generally not on line when you are! So....you get TWO posts for the day....and maybe more later on! *G*

What do YOU do when you can't sleep?? Besides the very obvious (GRINS), I find that working in the office helps, or a small glass of wine, or sometimes reading a book. But you have to be careful about that book. If it's too interesting, it can keep you up all night long, and defeat your purpose. I think I may find out why so many of my quilting friends quilt in the middle of the night! lol

I wish you all sweet dreams!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I was cleaning out drawers last night, and came across a yellowed scrap of paper that I had cut from an Ann Landers column years ago. William W. Quinn, Lt. General, U.S. Army (Ret.) had sent a letter to Ann, and I'm going to post part of it here.

"......reminded me of an article I had saved, although I don't know who wrote it. The article said the world's great civilizations averaged a cycle of 200 years. Those societies progressed through this sequence:

From bondage to spiritual faith
From spiritual faith to great courage
From great courage to liberty
From liberty to abundance
From abundance to selfishness
From selfishness to complacency
From complacency to apathy
From apathy to dependency
From dependency back again into bondage

As the United States has passed its 200th birthday, and in view of the recent epidemic of immorality, I wonder how your readers would assess America's current position in this cycle."

I believe that we are somewhere between abundance and complacency, but it's difficult to pin down just where. Certainly the immorality, drug use, and astonishing numbers of people in prision are signs of a decline. On the other hand, the rise in church attendence and charitable organizations such as Habitat for Humanity show a positive side that still exists.

I'm concerned about a number of things I see around me. I think that a large part of the populace feels that there is no point in voting because their vote can't accomplish anything. In the last election, the two candidates for President sounded like clones. I've never seen an election where the two parties were so similar in their platforms. Furthermore, a lot of the population believes, probably rightly so, that you can't get elected unless you have personal wealth.

I'm also concerned about a lack of social manners. Simple things such as assisting an older person, or holding a door for the person following you, or being pleasant to a person providing you with a service.....at a check out counter, or a salon, or the post ofice, these simple things are being lost in a world that is very ego oriented.

And the need for instant gratification that I see in the young concerns me. The only thing my parents paid for over time was their home. Everything else waited until they had the cash to buy it outright. We have chosen to live similarly, with a couple of exceptions. When I was refinancing the house, I was obsessing over $1000 on a credit card right after Christmas. It seemed like an inordinant amount to have spent, and I was afraid we wouldn't be able to refinance. The banker astounded me when he told me they MIGHT be concerned if I had $35 - $40,000 on credit. Who can live with that much debt hanging over their heads?

SO.....what do you think? Where are we on the scale of societal development? Are there other signs that we're further along the slippery slide?

Don't you wish that you could go "cold turkey" when you diet? *G* You could just stop eating, and your problem would be solved. Eating is an addiction for me. I eat for comfort rather than to live, and now, I have to learn more reasonable eating habits. I want to loose weight for health reasons, for vanity, because I crave the love and approval of my peers and family (not really.....well, maybe SOME of them...*G*). For the most part, I want to loose weight to be healthy.

Desiree is starting a diet. I was visiting her blog and found a kindred spirit. We may go about the process a little differently though. I know that I need more exercise and less food. Once I have made those changes, I will start working on just what kind of food I'm eating.

Tonight, we had broiled salmon marinated in Italian dressing, steamed green beans with bacon, roasted red potatoes with Lipton Onion Soup mix, and strawberries. This meal wasn't horrible, but there are a number of ways I could have improved it. I could have made my own merinade with less fat, or done without the merinade. I could have left the bacon off the beans. I could have had a baked potato with Molly McButter rather than the roasted potatoes with soup mix, and I could have left the sugar off the strawberries. And, I could have added a salad with crunchy veggies to that menu.

This is going to be a lifelong endeavor, but wish me luck as I start out.

It's been a really long day, and I'm just about at the end of it. I had my nose to the grindstone in the office and have very little to show for it. The most irritating part of the day was waiting for people to return my calls so that I could get my work done.

By 1:00, I was working myself into a tizzy, and realized I needed a break, or I would make my family miserable, so I turned to my computer and browsed blogs.

Dr. D had written about ghosts, and it made me think of Dad. When I was younger, I believed that if ghosts couldn't be proven scientifically, they didn't exist. But I've had a change of heart. Now, I believe that there are worlds out there just beyond our consciousness, waiting for us to wake up and find them.

My Dad died 20 years and 9 days ago. I still miss him, although I no longer think of him every day. Perhaps it is the time of year that's made me think of him recently.

My Dad was one of those fathers who are perfect in the eyes of their daughters. He was my rock. I could always count on him to be there for me, whether I was right or wrong. He would have supported me if I was right, and gently guided me if I was wrong, but he would have been by my side. I have three sisters, and each one of us is confident that "Dad loved ME the most!"

Dad had five major heart attacks, and a host of smaller ones he never knew he had. He hated doctors and chose not to go for help unless it was an emergency. He had an aortic aneurysm, and we lost him 10 days after it burst. The night he died tornadoes swept through Springfield. The entire world was in disarray. Horrible storms followed the tornadoes. On our way home, I had to pull off the road and park under the canopy of a bank drive-through to get out of a hail storm. The weather seemed totally fitting to me. After all, I was mourning the loss of my Dad. Why shouldn't the world mourn too?

The next week was horrible. There were wakes in two states before my Dad was finally laid to rest. I though it would go on forever when I just wanted to be alone. It was then that I realized Dad was there. At first, I thought I might catch him if I turned to my right fast enough. It seemed he was standing just behind me, keeping an eye on things and reassuring me. Finally, I stopped trying to trip him up, and just accepted the comfort it brought me that he was near. It felt rather like he was standing beside me with his arm around my shoulders helping me through all that needed to be done.

I never talked with him. I didn't see him. But, I know he was there. He was with me for five or six weeks, and then one day I realized he was gone. I kinda think he needed to stay to be sure that Mother was cared for, and that we were taking care of things.

Are there ghosts? I don't know. Was my father with me? Yes. You have to decide for yourself what you believe.

One more thing..... My father was an exceptional man. I hope I'll see him again one day. Dad......I love you.

Don't you love old movies?? Tonight we went out to dinner and then came home to watch "The Thin Man," and "The Return of the Thin Man." While I like William Powell and Myrna Loy, I think Cary Grant is probably my favorite actor. Have you ever seen "I was a Male War Bride"?? I watched it so many times that I had the script memorized.

Fred is addicted to the Marx Brothers. We have all their movies on tape. I hope I never have to spend another New Year's Eve watching the collected works of the Marx Brothers! *G*

A number of years ago the American Film Institute created several shows along the lines of The Best 100 American Films of the 20th Century. We watched, and for days discussed their choices and ranking. I was always unhappy that Sci-fi wasn't adequately represented, but I was pleased to see how many times Katherine Hepburn's movies were listed.

My all time favorite tear-jerker?? Probably "Out of Africa," but "Ryan's Daughter" runs a close second.

Fred bought me a DVD player for the table where I piece my quilts. I've purchased about 20 DVDs in the past 10 months, and the choices were really odd. Bruce Willis's quirkiest movies are represented, with "Hudson Hawke" and "The Fifth Element." "Miss Congeniality" and "Pretty Woman" are the chick flicks. "First Contact" from Star Trek is the only sci-fi so far. I have both the Harry Potter movies, and have just about worn out the first one! THe only war movie is "Bridge on the River Kwai." Cary Grant shows up several times. "It Takes a Thief," and "Charade" are two of them.

If you could only choose one movie to watch again and again, what would you pick?

I don't know about you, but I tend to think of myself as being rather anonymous. I have a large family and a circle of friends, but I live on the dividing line between two cities which together have a quarter million residents. I'm a small fish in a pretty good-sized pond. When I go out, I don't expect to see anyone I know.

So my sense of anonymity was a little disrupted today as I read an article in the Chicago Tribune called "Data Tracks." (http://www.chicagotribune.com/technology/chi-0305090364may11,1,2664836.story) I know that business and government have been able to track us for ages. I guess I've been fairly complacent about it, because I didn't have anything to hide. But the amount of information being collected on us has increased exponentially.

We have something on Illinois tollways called I-pass. With it, you can drive through tollbooths without stopping, as it makes note of your car and the time, and deducts from your account. The record of your travels is not readily available, but it can be supoenaed in court cases.

When you use your phone, a record is kept of the time and the number called. As you walk in the city, security devices now film you using digital cameras. When you shop at large grocery stores , a list of your purchases and the day you shop is stored in their computers. Each time you use your charge card, the item, shop and date is kept. A withdrawal at an ATM causes MORE records to be entered, and a CTA card keeps track of your travels. If you use a car rather than public transportation, gas stations note where you have been. Libraries are tracking the interests of their users with computers, now. Both checks and credit cards track our spending.

We've all known that our personal information is out there on the web. I get calls or e-mails from companies who have researched my mortgage and want to entice me with a lower rate. My credit rating is available to anyone clever enough to request it. The federal government is putting everything on computer so that they can compare your taxes to the W2s and company pay records. State Unemployment divisions work with Social Security to be sure the appropriate name and number match contributions being made.

So....I guess I'm a rather public property these days. I hate to be paranoid, but I wonder how this might be used against me some day. Who needs all this data? Why are they saving it? I can understand L.L.Bean tracking my purchases, but it's shocking when the local Chinese restaurant does the same thing.

And, having said all this, I doubt seriously there is any way for me to stop this tracking. Maybe I need to start riding my bike more, and pay strictly by cash....

Wild Debauchery! Hedonism! Carousing! Don't those words bring wonderful images to your mind? I see rippling muscles, rivulets of sweat, rumpled bed covers, an empty bottle of wine and two glasses, clothes strewn over the floor, and a candle burning down. I can't begin to describe the sounds!

When did I turn away from a life of carousing to become a conservative suburban matron? What made me choose to become a housekeeper and a chauffeur rather than a hedonist? What made me give up wild debauchery and settle into office work? I could become famous if I had the answers and could warn people about veering off the path of pleasure!

I remember reading one of the last things Erma Bombeck wrote before she died.
She felt she would have lived a different life if she could do it over. She would have focused less on keeping a showplace of a house, and more on time spent loving her children and husband. Too many of us are rehearsing our lives rather than living them, and end up with the same regrets Erma had.

Then, there's always the need to live up to your family's expectations. I wish I could be the black sheep of the family. I could miss gatherings and forget birthdays and generally have a bad reputation. And I'd know that they'd all talk about me now and then, but it wouldn't bother me in the least.

Do you suppose we are genetically disposed to be what we become, or is is our ennvironment that forms us? Nature vs. Nurture. I've never been able to decide which is the stronger influence. It feels to me that "nurture" was stronger, in leading me to the suburban matron role. So where was "nature" when my wild debauchery was waning away?? Wouldn't you think the instinct for sex.....well....for procreation, would always be the strongest?

My husband is going to retire before I do. Unfortunately, I work for him, and I'll be out a job when that time comes. My sister suggested that I put in some time managing a McDonald's, but I have a better idea. I think I'll take up phone sex. *G* I actually announced that to my mother. She just gave me one of "those" looks. I know she was wondering if they swapped babies at the hospital.

Have you ever stood before a mirror and practiced a look??

I think I've done this just once, preparing a smile for a photo shoot. But, I understand that it's a pretty common thing. I wonder if young girls practice looks to lure boy friends, or if their 20 year old counterparts practice sensual looks to melt their lovers? Do BOYS practice looks in the mirror??? God....the thought must send teenage girls into gales of giggles.

Why do we need to practice a look? Is it to be sure that we are communicating correctly? Or are we putting our best foot forward? Or is it possible we really don't know what we look like when we move our muscles?

Let's see.....I think I have the "Lady Astor" look down pat. You know the one....where someone tilts her head back, raises one eyebrow, and looks down her nose at you?? I've got that one perfected. I learned it watching my Mother. I think I need a LOT of work on the "Sultry Siren" look. I can't do it yet with out laughing, and it spoils the effect.

I'm gonna go off and think about other looks I need to practice on. I hope you all have a good night.

I've been thinking about wedding rings lately. I've been married twice, so I have a spare. When I was divorced, I chose to put mine away. I know that some women throw them away, some pawn them, and some have them reset. I didn't reset mine because even reset, it would have reminded me of times I prefer to put behind me. Besides, that diamond had already been reset once. My ex took the diamond from a previous engagement and reset it for me. Enough is enough.

I was surfing, looking to see how other women (and men) had responded to this issue. You might enjoy this collection of replies to Dear Prudie.

When DH proposed to me, we went to my-sister-the-jeweler to order rings. I picked out a setting and she went to Chicago to get diamonds on consignment. She and her employees chose the diamond and had it set. When DH slipped the ring on my finger, I realized that my sister had put the diamond in the setting SHE liked, not in the one I chose. What the heck! The ring is beautiful. I refused to take it off. Besides, it gives me something to rib her about. She'll be glad when my memory goes! lol

So.....did you throw yours into the ocean, or have it reset for a daughter? Did you melt it down and make a pendant out of it, or pawn it to fund a good time? Or have you been blessed and not had to think about this?

Did you ever have to dissect something in biology class? As I recall, we had to cut up dead worms. Our biology teacher should NEVER have been allowed near kids. He took pleasure in making the weakest of us squirm and was vindictive and sarcastic. He managed to rise to the level of Principal, so he could affect larger numbers of students. :-( I suppose that we were lucky that we only had to work on worms. If we had had to cut up a frog, I would have been kicked out of school for refusing to do it.

I was pondering just why we need to disect things. I realize that the hope is that we will understand more thoroughly with a first hand experience, rather than merely reading about it. But most of us aren't ever going to see the inside of a worm again. The closest most of us get to frogs once we leave school, will be running them over with the car. So, WHY do we waste so many days playing with sharp knives?

It occured to me that I might have been able to protest having to disect anything. Of course, that wasn't done in the middle ages, but if I had been pushed into cutting up a frog, I might have tried it. I wonder if a kid has done just that somewhere, creating a precident?

We could accomplish the same learning experience with latex models which could be assembled and disassembled. Since the models are reusible, the cost for class supplies would go down. The knives could be kept locked away and the school's insurance bill would go down. And, consciencious objectors would have nothing to complain about!

I vote that disection be limited to science and medical classes and butchers, and not required of high school students.

Boooooooooo Hoooooooooo

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is coming to an end. Not that I watched it or anything.....

Here are 10 one liners we won't forget, courtesy of the Chicago Tribune, Arts & Entertainment Section, Sunday, May 18, 2003:

1. "Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub drinkin' pig's blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rank huge in the Zagat's guide." --Spike

2. "She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?"--Spike

3. "We're drawing up a plan for world domination. The key element? Coffemakers that think."--Riley

4. "Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons."--Giles (THIS IS MY PERSONAL FAV!)

5. "You're not, by any chance, betraying your secret identity just to impress, um, cute boys, are you?"--Giles

6. "We can't run. That would be wrong. Could we hide?"--Willow

7. "Why go to all the trouble to dig up three girls only to chop them up and throw them away? It doesn't make any sense. Especially from a time management standpoint."--Buffy

8. "You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make a noise when you walk. You...stomp. Or yodel."--Buffy

9. "Eww! Why is it that every conversation you poeple have has the word 'corpse' in it?--Cordelia

10. "I don't like vampires. I'm going to take a stand and say they are not good."--Xander

There you have it.....the highlights of seven years of screen time! Kinda makes you wonder how they became a cult favorite.

I suppose this is the appropriate place to tell how I came to be called "Buffy." About four years ago I decided that I was going to enter the life of on-line chatting. The very first obstacle I faced was the need for a nickname to get into the chatroom. You got it......in the background "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" was playing, and I borrowed her name. At the time it seemed reasonable. I had no idea that so many people would come to know me as "Buffy." I am as unlike Sarah Michelle Gellar as a woman could be, but she provided a lot of cover, and some very stupid one liners, during my chatting days. I finally got tired of the masquerade and fessed up to being a "mature suburban matron" *G* but the name stuck. I truly envy those of you who are quick witted and can come up with repartee for every situation. Maybe if I associate with you a little of it will rub off. Until then....."Hi! I'm Buffy!"

I was visiting at Dr. D's and saw a link to a post by Dominatrix at the Tower of Babel. She was writing about the difficulty a successful working woman has in finding a husband. She's figured out that she needs to find a self-confident man who won't be threatened by her success. Do you have a list of requirements in a mate?

When I was a kid, I expected that I would marry tall & dark, and if he was also handsome, that was a bonus. I come from a very tall family, and Dad had black hair, so my expectations came from what I knew. When I married the first time, my husband was just two inches taller than I, and his light brown hair was already disappearing. Our marriage didn't fail because he didn't meet my girlish expectations; it failed because we were unable to communicate.

So.....should I have had a grocery list of what I was shopping for in a mate? Should I have determined his fiscal responsibility, his five and ten year plans, his vocation and avocations, religion, education, family? What about his ability to speak to me of hopes and fears, his health, or his plans for children? What about sex....does he have fetishes, or is he so conservative that we will die of boredom?? Can he allow me freedom, or is he jealous or manipulative?

I think you have to whittle your list down to the items that you can't live without, because it's unlikely you will find your dream man. If you find that he has some of the "extras," so much the better. My advice to you is that you shouldn't assume a mate will compromise with you, or change to suit your wishes or needs. If you can't find the right man where you live, then expand your search area. If you are willing to move, then consider looking for a mate on-line. I know an incredible number of couples who met on-line, and I'm beginning to think the anonymity we have as we first chat may be a healthy thing. We talk about things in depth that it would take much longer to get to face to face.

When I was divorced, I swore I wouldn't marry again. It took three years before DH caught my attention, and what caught me was his sense of humor.
Who knew??? Add it to your list of essential qualities! *S*

Good morning, everyone! It's Saturday, and I'm still in the "getting ready for the wedding mode," but a comment Dr. D left under "Mates" caught my attention and I had a little more to say about choosing a mate.

When I wrote about mates, I was actually thinking that although we all have an ideal mate in mind as we start our search, we need to be open to the surprises which come our way. That was why I felt we need to know exactly what we must have in a mate, rather than what we might like to have.

We all start out with a long list of what we might like to have in a mate, and then we have to whittle that list down. As many of you pointed out, that ideal simply doesn't exist, or we are unable to find it. I think that it's necessary to understand yourself well enough that you can decide what you can't live without.

Family is an important issue to me. I would be miserable with a man who refused to attend family functions. Even when I'm unhappy with my family, I still have obligations to them, and my husband's support helps me through the tough times.

If I were starting a family, I'd want a husband who parented equally with me. I think that children need to interact with both parents, and parents need to be in agreement on how the children are raised. Like parenting styles would help, but I don't know if they are required.

I glossed over it in my last post, but similar interest in sex has to be a requirement. Can you imagine someone who will only allow the missionary position married to someone who wants to explore the world of BDSM?? *G* That's an extreme example, but frequency and style do matter. If one of you is unprepared to change, then you're in for trouble. To me, fidelity is also a must.

For some people, religion is a serious issue. Do you need to marry within your church, or could you accept someone from a different religion? Can you accept a person who doesn't believe in God? Could you change religion for your mate?

There are suprises along the way. I told you that I thought I would marry a tall, dark man. Well....I got the dark part. DH has incredible Mediterranean skin that I envy every day of the summer. But I ditched my expectations on height when I married DH. He's shorter than I am.

He surprised me in another way. I'm the partner with more education. He's the partner with more brains. I have the book learning, he has the common sense. I had expected to marry a man who had at least as much education as I have, and found that it really didn't matter.

I think when you fall in love, you have to think about what you need in your relationship, and set everything else aside. Be realistic, ruthless if need be, but whittle that list down. Open yourself to suprises and enjoy your search!

"The Joy of..." Have you read "The Joy of Sex"?? When that book came out, I was a modern young married woman, but I had to hold back a nervous giggle as I bought it. You couldn't order it through Amazon.com then, and it was tantamount to asking for a copy of "Penthouse" at the news stand. I was delighted to have a guide, but vaguely uneasy about it. I finally realized that the people depicted in the poses were all Hippies! Had the book featured a clean-shaven Establishment man....I would have felt right at home! lol Talk about conservative!

I picked up another book recently, Lou Paget's "How to be a GREAT LOVER." It's subtitled "Girlfriend to Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques that Will Blow His Mind." In the chapter called "Give That Man a Hand" I discovered that I had been depriving DH of a technique called "Ode to Bryan." I'm amazed he hasn't divorced me......and he never said a WORD! I wonder if he has a stash of how-to books and is relieved that I haven't left him because he's failed to perform some incredible technique from the Kama Sutra?

It's all about checks and balances. *G*

Okay.....tell me. What other books should I have read??

If you have been in, or are in, a long term relationship, have you ever hit a point where you didn't have the faintest idea what to get your significant other? I've gone from knowing what DH would enjoy to not having a clue. He's become like my Dad.......if he doesn't have it, you can't afford it. Dad wasn't a materialistic person, and neither is DH. It's terribly difficult to buy a gift that matters, and I hate to give a gift just because the day demands it.

I hate to admit it, but Martha Stewart might bail me out this time. With Father's Day coming up, she suggested using a picture frame with six openings, and filling five of the spots with pictures of his kids growing up. THe sixth spot has a message...you know.....Happy Father's Day, 2003! Or something a little more personal. If I featured pictures of his daughter this year.....and one of the boys each of the next three years, and his grandson the following year, I could stretch this out for FIVE YEARS!!! YES! Now what do I do for his birthday, and Christmas, and our anniversary???

How do you let your significant other know what you might like to have? Do you get a lot of goofy gifts? I know that there are women out there who have threatened mayhem if they receive another appliance for Mother's Day, and frankly, I don't blame them in the least! My ex-mother-in-law received a robe every Christmas, year after year. For Mother's Day, she got a bottle of perfume. I couldn't believe she didn't find a way to guide her husband in his gift giving, but now I find the same thing has happened to me. Maybe I just don't have enough "I wants."

I'm at the point in my life where more time together, or quality time, is what I really want. A long weekend trip would be lovely. A visit to the Antiques Fair, or maybe a weekend of estate sales, or visiting Salvage One would be fun. So would strolling a riverwalk, entertaining friends, or playing Spite and Malice. I don't need a mink.....or a BMW. Diamonds would be kinda nice.....but time is what I'd really like.

If you happen to see DH sailing by.....whisper in his ear.......

Today, as I was running errands I was listening to WGN on the radio. From 9:00 to noon it's presided over by two zany women, who tend to talk about really trivial things. Today, Judy was talking about a questionnaire in "Elle" Magazine about bodies.

The question posed was: If you were in a long-term relationship and you could arrange for one of you to have a GREAT body.....which of you would have the great body? They took six callers and 5 out of the 6 said they wanted the great body. The callers were both men and women. One man said he wanted his partner to have the great body.

The article said that 9 out of 10 women said THEY wanted the great body. Fewer men said they wanted the great body, about 6 out of 10.

Since women tend to be less secure about their bodies their results didn't surprise me. The physical aspects of making love have to be easier when you aren't concerned about a few extra pounds, or when you know that your lover admires how you look.

There's vanity involved in men wanting their partner to be beautiful. Think of how many men divorce in middle age and then marry a trophy wife. I wonder if that really raises a man's social standing among his peers? I was a little surprised that as many as six out of 10 men wanted the great body for themselves. Does that mean that male values concerning appearance are changing?

How would YOU vote?

I'm delighted to tell you that the wedding was LOVELY! It came off without a hitch (other than a cloudy, blustery day), and the reception was wonderful. Despite the fact that there were a LOT of factions from three separate families in attendance, there were no fights or hard words. Everyone was on their best behavior, and a good time was had by most.

The bride was breathtakingly lovely. Everyone was emotional, and in the midst of the pastor's comments she reached up and brushed a tear off her husband-to-be's face. It was a charming moment. Mike is a typical guy who doesn't go around with his emotions on his sleeve, so it was reassuring to see the emotion well up in him as Laura and DH started down the aisle.

I lost it as DH gave his daughter away, but I managed to keep it down to a few joyous tears and no snuffling! lol The night before I had been given an embroidered handkerchief as a gift, and I put it to good use.

The reception was lots of fun. We mingled and chatted with family members and new friends and the wedding party. The DJ played a great variety of music, and I discovered that my son-in-law's mother has similar taste in music to me. She likes jazz and old rock 'n' roll. Her husband is a charming man. I hope we get to see the two of them again.

Soooo.....it was worth all the work, so that I could enjoy myself. I went, with the intention of enjoying myself, and encouraged everyone else to do the same.
I had been following Drowning Fish's saga of the wedding she was attending, and worried that we might have the same experience.....but we lucked out. So, we will be the exception that makes the rule.

I'm certainly not as eloquent as Texas T-bone on the subject of weddings. You have to go visit and read what he has to say about them.

I hope that any of you who have weddings to attend have as good a time as we did!

I love movies. I like a wide range of movies, and have favorites in every genre.
I've followed the sci-fi stuff that's part of my generation.....Star Wars, Star Trek, Aliens. I like almost everything Steven Spielburg has done, including the Indiana Jones trilogy. I like old comedies, and some of the new ones. For some odd reason, I love Bruce Willis movies. Hudson Hawke was one of the first I bought, just for the sheer silliness

I have to admit that I rarely know the names of the stars these days, and I suspect that I've missed some good chick flicks. I got to see Chocolat for the first time this month. What a GREAT movie! I think I might look to see what else Juliet Binoche has done, because she was exceptional.

Ryan's Daughter is an old film that has always appealed to me, despite the sadness of the subject, but Out of Africa has to be my all time favorite chick flick. I just get to the place where I'm resigned that she has to be strong and go through life on her own.....and he switches gears.....and DIES! Man.....I cry every time I see that movie.

I think that An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant and Debra Kerr has to be the all time perfect chick flick. When he tells her his grandmother has passed away, and gives her the white shawl....or when he breaks into her apartment at the end. Who can keep from crying?

Do you ever share chick flicks with your significant other? I mean.....if you are at Blockbuster shopping for the weekend, does he ever agree to watch a chick flick with you?? Or do you have to watch alone, or with girlfriends?? Since I'm a boat widow in the summer, I have plenty of time to watch chick flicks, but every now and then, DH will come in and see one on, and stay to see what it's all about.

Let me know if you have a favorite chick flick I should look for.

I've been thinking about how romance writers use words. It interests me how they take words that are not commonly associated with sex and imbue them with a sensual patina. I was reading a book by Linda Howard called "Kill and Tell." The setting is New Orleans, so you already have heat, and humidity, and a languid sensuality overlaying everything. She used the word "heavy" repeatedly in one chapter. She described the main male charachter, Marc, as being heavily muscled. Karen hears his slow, heavy, heartbeat as she rests her head on his chest. She experiences that melting, warming, heavy, sense of ripeness in response to Marc's lovemaking. And, she welcomes his heavy weight pressing her into the bed.

"Heavy" isn't a word you often see in romance novels, unless it's used to describe male anatomy, so it's interesting to see how the repeated use of a common word ups the ante in the scene.

"Writhing" is another word that's being used more frequently. When I was younger, you might read that someone "writhed in pain." Or, snakes writhed. Now, women writhe in pleasure, seeking an elusive climax. IT's a really great word. Can't you just see her arching and twisting....her hair spread over the bed....eyes gone blind with need??

But, I have to say, kiwi is the most unusual word that I've read that brings sex to mind. Until recently, I rather thought it could be said to have male attributes. I mean....it's sorta the right size and shape...and hairy! I highly reccomend that you visit Speedbump to read what he has to say about kiwis. You'll never think of them in quite the same light again.

I was visiting -e-'s blog, Wazzup, today, and read what he had to say about people who blog. I'm a newbie to blogging, but I've chatted in several formats for about three years. I am NOT surprised to find that people have the same failings here that they do elsewhere on-line.

I've never understood people who create a fake persona. What joy is there in hiding your true self from the people you talk with? When I first started chatting, I was disturbed by the A/S/L question that was always asked. I was reluctant to discuss age because I assumed that younger people would feel they had nothing in common with me. When asked my age, I would say that I was 84, walked with a cane, had a dowager's hump, hair sprouted out of my chin, I drooled, and was toothless. Now...I really wasn't hiding behind a fake persona, I was simply unwilling to give out a lot of personal information. Anyone who took the time to talk with me after reading that description got the truth, or as much as was appropriate for that person. After all, we never really know who we are talking to until we meet them, so safety is an issue.

I recall one person who felt it was his purpose in life to stir up trouble. He could be guaranteed to disagree or bring up a volatile subject. He was actually a charming man who needed to work on his self image. He was able, with the help of a friend, to virtually shut down the discussion on a Onelist. I still don't understand what satisfaction that brought to him. I assume that the need to have power over others surfaces here, as it does in real life.

The other kind of behavior that I fail to understand is being "two-faced." I don't know about you, but if I know a person is saying one thing to me, and something totally different to another, I can't trust that person. I'm sure that person is going to turn on me at some point, and I don't want to be there to receive that kind of treatment.

I'm a "What-you-see-is-what-you-get" sort of person. I am relatively non-confrontational, but if you push me, I'll tell you exactly what I'm thinking, and that brings us to something else Eric said. We all put our best foot forward on-line. Although I've seen what seems to be incredible honesty on a few blogs, most of us present ourselves in the best light possible. I think that's human nature. I'm not likely to share my deepest thoughts with you. Since we limit what we tell our loved ones, it should come as no surprise that we put greater restictions on what we say here.

Soooooo.....tell me what you're thinking. Share discussions on the vagaries of life.....rant with me about the wrongs in the world. Just don't assume that you know me, until we've met.....and maybe not even then.

-e-........it sounds like you're having a tough day. I hope things improve, soon!

There isn't really enough time this evening to write about this as fully as I'd like, but I want to tell you about a conversation I had this week.

First....a little explanation. I'm a grandmother. When I married DH, he presented me with a ready-made family, who were well on their way to being adults, so I was a grandmother at a rather early age. Since I have been a step-grandmother, I sent a lot of love my grandson's way, and tended to keep my hands off his little psyche as he grew up. Unfortunately, his mother died last year.

It's been a hellish year for him, and maybe moreso for his father. It's been difficult for the two of them to talk to each other. I have been worrying about both of them for some time, and this week, my grandson was with us. I bided my time, and waited until I had him captive in the SUV....and then asked him if his father had talked to him about sex.

He's seventeen! He probably knows more about sex than I do, but I wanted to be sure that someone had talked with him about SAFE sex. I wanted to be able to tell him that making love is stupendous when you do it with someone you love, and I wanted him to know that all you see on the internet is not necessarily what the average person believes is good and appropriate.

He gets MAJOR credit for not blushing or shrinking away from me. He was really cool about this, and relaxed. He told me that he had not talked with his dad, but that his mother had talked with him. And, he described the sex ed classes they have at his school. The classes were pretty astounding, and I'm glad he had them. Too many parents and schools let kids promulgate errors, and then chastise them for their behavior, when they didn't have enough information to make the right choices.

I wanted my grandson to know that he could talk to me forthrightly about this subject, if he needed an adult to talk to. I'm realistic about the fact that he is not likely to talk to me.....but the door is open if he so chooses. I hope he will remember what I said when it comes time to make his choices.

My friends were kidding me tonight, asking if they could send their kids to me for a talk. Heck.....why not!? I'm an old hand at this now! (HUGEGRIN)

Sooooo....have you given this talk? Was it difficult or easy for you? Do you think it made any difference in the choices your child will make? Do you think some children find it easier to talk to someone other than their parents? Guys....did you leave this discussion for your wife to do?? Let me know what you think.

Well.....We rolled into this weekend with the goal of walking the Walter Payton 5K Fitness Walk. I walked it last year with my exercise class and wanted to try it again. Last year, I was coming off an extended period of treatment for a plantar fasciia problem in my left foot, so my goal was to simply get through the 5K. I did, but it took me more than an hour and ten minutes as I recall. A week after the walk, I received a postcard telling me that I was 1157 out of 1160 women in the race. (pout) Still.....I made it without having to be brought in on a gurney!

We started a walking program last fall, which was going very well. Unfortunately, DH fell off the roof and landed on his feet, and that put an end to our walking together for a bit. Then.....he tried to bring down a thief and ripped his hamstring muscle on the same leg. So, that wiped out our walking in the early spring. Neither of us was well prepared for this walk, and it's my own fault that I wasn't ready.

The day broke cloudy, gray, gusty and threatening rain. I put my driver's license,some money, and a bandana in my pockets, and a visor on my head, and we were off to the race site. We registered, got in line and set off at the shot. Despite wearing New Balance shoes and my orthotics, I was in trouble in the second mile. And because I favored the foot that hurt, I developed a good-sized blister in the other foot. This is the first time I've gotten a blister on the narrow part of my foot parallel to the arch.

It would be an understatement to say I'm limping. I had to borrow a cane from my mother to be able to get around. I hope DH can do some grocery shopping because I'm dreading the idea of having to walk the grocery store.

Still....I made it. I know that I don't want to experience that type of walk again, but I made it, and I was faster than last year! We shaved eight minutes off last year's time. If we do it next year, I plan to have walked all Spring to get ready for it. Come walk with me! It's time to get in shape!

This morning I was listening to the radio as I dressed for the day, and I heard Spike O'Dell on WGN talking to an innkeeper in the Irish town where Viagra is made. It seems that all the men in the town, and a lot of the women, are very happy campers these days. All you have to do is take a brisk walk downwind of the factory to enjoy the bounty of the production line. O'Dell was clearly worried that he was going to have to hit the seven second delay button, and kept reminding the innkeeper that this was family radio. His guest was quite willing to tell all about the benefits of living there, in colorful detail! So....either we need to take a vacation to Ireland, or encourage Viagra to build another factory in the US!

I woke up this morning expecting to loose a molar at the oral surgeon's office. I'm scared to death of dentists......all kinds of dentists, but I managed to pull myself together to get to his office at 10:45. I had not had "anything by mouth" since 11:45 last night, not even water. They were running late, and of course, we got there early.

I filled out pages of forms and they finally called me in. The nurse was wonderful. I had requested that I be put to sleep for this session so I wouldn't recall any of it. She hooked me up to an EKG machine, took my blood pressure, and put one of those clips on my finger that tracks my pulse. We discussed what meds I'm on, and the doc came in.

He was the archeologist the last time I had to have a tooth removed. He did a fine job, despite the cavern that was left afterward. I chose to go back to someone I knew, rather than breaking in a new digger. Besides, the guy is an ex-Marine, cute as hell for a guy my age, and a doc in addition to being an oral surgeon.

He checked out my mouth, and looked quizzical. "WHY do you want to have this tooth removed?" I gave him all the reasons my dentist had given me. He asked his assistant to get the dentist on the phone. She was away until June 18.

Ultimately, he showed me the x-ray of the tooth he was supposed to work on, and said that he felt there were other options to be considered rather than removing it. He thinks I should have a crown put on it.

So........for the very first time in my life I have been given a reprieve from the dentist's chair. It may still come to it that the tooth is removed, but it wasn't today. Actually, I'm rather fond of the tooth. We've known each other for a LOT of years! I sure hope this little discussion doesn't tick off the dentist. (Envisioning scenes from "Little Shop of Horror.")

Wish me luck!

You know, I've come to discover as I blog that somewhere along the line I have laid aside my ability to think critically, and to put those thoughts down in logical arguments. Frequently, I find myself in the middle of a post that has taken a left turn and doesn't have ANY relationship to what I intended to write. And I'm finding that sometimes I surprise myself, typing statements that I didn't realize I believed until that moment. Surely this is the ultimate in pselph-psychoanalysis.

I have been listening to commentary on the new book by Hillary Clinton. I assume that most of you know she plans to run for President, whether she has announced or not. I've been thinking about her and that race, trying to decide just what I feel about it.

I liked her a during the first Clinton term. Even when it appeared that they may have erred in Arkansas, my admiration for her wasn't diminished. I had high hopes that she would guide us toward a more sensible health care program, and I wanted to believe that she was a good person. Whatever happened to the improvements in health care?

Then.....when Bill was at his worst, with Monica.....Hillary kept her silence. I was torn between applauding her for not creating a veritable circus of the Presidency, and wanting her to stand up and call him every name in the book, and walk away. I will never look at another cigar again without seeing it's possible uses. His excuses: We didn't have intercourse" and "I didn't inhale" sullied the office he held.

Finally, calmed down and reached the point where I approved how she had handled it. I pursuaded myself that it was for the good of the office and the country. I waited to see what would happen to their relationship once he was out of office. I figured there might be a quiet divorce.

I was astounded when she ran for the Senate, having not been elected to office prior to that. It bothered me that she sought the Senate seat for New York, a much more posh address than Arkansas. And things became complicated here. Has she not divorced Bill because it would now hurt HER career? Is she such a political creature that she is trying to bury all the difficulties to smooth <b>her</b> path?

I have more questions. Does she truly believe that the news media won't hound her about her marriage from the day she throws her hat into the ring? They are already hounding her! Have you thought of the fact that Bill Clinton will be the First Husband, if she should win?

I think that she carries so much baggage that she can't possible win the race. What political group will spend the millions of dollars that her campaign will require, knowing that Bill will have to campaign for her.

If she chooses to divorce her husband, she will loose the Catholic vote. If she chooses to stay married, and it sounds as though she might from what I've heard of her book, she'll loose the NOW vote, both of which are substantial. I wonder what her demographics are throughout the rest of the country?

Sooooo...as I write to you, I have found I no longer respect Hillary Clinton. I'd dearly love to see a female President in my lifetime. I think we are getting closer to a time when that would be possible, but if Geraldine Ferraro couldn't stand up to the cannons aimed at her during her run as VICE President.....I seriously doubt that Mrs. Clinton will make it either. Hillary is tougher, but she carries baggage that will put her out of the running, and she should save her money, our time, and a lot of media space and reconsider.

This is a comment from the Heartland. If you've surfed in to see what we are thinking, I suspect you will find others agree with me.

Are you superstitious? I guess I should have been. The first time I was married, it was June 13. I should have worried more about the fact that my anniversary would occasionally fall on Friday the thirteenth. We lasted just 11 years, which was really amazing.

As I'm typing this, my cat, Edward Scissorhands is laying beside one of my arms. He's a black cat.....or mostly black. There's just a spritz of white at his tummy. He's not my familiar......but he's just a little too familiar as I type. He wants my full attention, and resents the time I'm giving you.

I don't tend to walk under ladders because it's safer to go around. I generally avoid cracks in the sidewalk, but that's because I'm a spaz and could fall, not because I'm worried about my Mother's back. If I wanted to whistle in a graveyard.....I would.

Do you think that we should take superstitions more seriously, or are they the product of a less educated era? I find that a lot of the information which comes to us as old wives tales or herbal lore, has basis in observable information. Alert, questioning people make correlations to make sense of the world around them. Where things couldn't be explained, they became lore, to be passed on from generation to generation.

I dont tend to be superstitious, but during my lifetime I've made some changes in what I've thought, and in the right situation, I could change my opinion on this. Do you have any proof to make me reconsider my stance??

I've noticed the phenomenon of the Friday Five at several blogs. I'd like to join the band wagon with five things that tick me off!

1. Drivers who can see for a mile that they have to merge into another lane, who speed along the mostly empty to-be-closed lane and then assume you will let them merge in front of you. You earn my five fingered salute minus four, and my grandson's long ago favorite comment......JERK!!!!

2. Sales people who hate their jobs. This applies at every level of service, from the kid at Mickey D's to the women in the toney shops who could care if you shop there. I recently purchased a silk shell to wear at my stepdaughter's wedding. They didn't have one in my size at the location where I was shopping, but they volunteered to see if one was available at another store. They found one, took my card, and gave me a receipt with a "locator number." Well....the shell never came, and a month later I decided to follow up on it. The saleswoman who took my call was indifferent, was having a bad day, and was going to have to ask for help to resolve the issue. She discovered that it had never been sent (DO TELL!!) and tried to palm the problem off on me......by telling me who to call. I stopped her and told her that I wanted HER to resolve the issue. She wasn't a happy camper, but she followed up on it, and the shell came the next day. The only thing that kept me from talking to her supervisor and blasting her out of the water was that I've been known to make a mistake, and I hope someday someone will give me a break when I'm having a bad day. My logic was totally selfish.....I didn't want to feel guilty later. But.....it would have felt good to get even for her general snottiness......at least for a moment.

3. Children who are out of control in public. I suggest you go visit Da Goddess, because she has an EXCELLENT post on this subject on June 11, and I totally agree with her stand. (You might tell her she has gorgeous ta tas, too, but that's another subject.)

DH and I were flying home from Vancouver to Chicago a year ago, and seated behind us were two parents and two young children. They had three seats for four bodies. The little girl was probably two years old, and was forced to sit on her mother's lap because her rotten little brother wouldn't share his seat. That toddler kicked me in the kidneys all the way to Chicago. Her parents KNEW what was going on, and failed to stop her. The flight attendent even spoke with this family, to no avail. The airline should have required that she be in a seat, but her parents made the choice to carry her on their laps. They should have been more responsible. I'm still ticked about this!

4. Current clothing trends for teenagers in school. I swear, if I was a superintendent, I would require uniforms! I'm astounded at what is uncovered, broadcast, and advertised on teenage bodies. I don't see how anyone believes that kids can concentrate in a classroom while they are dressed in the current fashions. I didn't care for the dress code when I was in school, but it would have been less of an issue if we all had to wear uniforms. Besides....as a teacher I wouldn't have to hold my breath waiting to see if the kid walking to the back row was going to loose his pants before he got there!

5. Telemarketers. If I tell you "No thanks, I'm not interested," DON'T ARGUE WITH ME! It's not going to put me in a frame of mind that will do you any good. And.....Don't call me with a recorded message that I HAVE to listen to, so that I can get your number, because if I have to call you to tell you to take my name off your list, I'm not going to be pleasant! Don't be surprised when you reach people who are angry about having their own phone used to waste their time.

Sooooo that's the five for this week. Now that I've gotten the pet peeves out of the way...oh wait....I have one more.....

5 1/2......people who choose to live in the US who choose not to learn to speak English. I wouldn't dream of moving to Afghanistan and then demand that you print all your documents in English for me. If you want to live here....then be a fully participating citizen, and learn the language.

Well....the next Friday Five should be lighter than this one, but it was nice to be able to get this off my chest. Have a great weekend! May you all have sunny and 72!

One of my nieces sent this to me recently. It's incredibly good advice, especially for those who have most likely passed the halfway point in their lives.
I'd add to it: Live your life as the real performance, not as a dress rehearsal.

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady,who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move
necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs.. Jones, you haven't seen the room ... just wait." "That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged...

it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it ...

"It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up.

I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away ...
just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account ... you withdraw from what you've put in .

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing. Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

I have writers block. I didn't think it would come so soon. Usually I have loads of things to chat about, but I can't find anything worthy of a full post.
I guess it's time to learn the art of pastiche.

I was visiting Jamie's blog and discovered that she was talking about the possibility of abortion being repealed in the U.S. This is an incredibly volatile subject, but I agree with her stand. I think women should have the right to choose what happens to their bodies. If a change is coming with respect to this bill, I hope they merely modify it, allowing women who have been raped the right of abortion. I agree that abortion should not be used as a form of birth control. We have enough birth control options open to us that there is no reason for a thinking woman who is choosing to have intercourse to be unprepared.

Along these lines, I'd like to see our welfare system modified. I was appalled to learn that there are generations of women on welfare, who gave birth to children in their teens, and their children had babies in their teens, and now the GRANDchildren are having children in their teens. There's something wrong with a system which keeps replicating the very problems we hope to cure. I'm willing to support a teenager long enough to get them through a training program or college course so that they can find a paying job. I am NOT willing to pay taxes to support a woman who chooses to have lots of children by multiple fathers.

This is what I propose: support for a specific period of time, for the mother and one child, child care during that period, and vocational training or two years of college. Should the mother choose to have another child during this period, her welfare rate would NOT increase: no additional income for additional children. It's time to make people responsibl