A number of years ago, as my siblings and I began to age, it became apparent that they had a problem. We now have four generations of family who range from new born (April 26) to 87. THere are mothers in three of those generations, and it won't be too many years before there is likely to be a mother in the fourth generation.
At some point my sisters announced that THEY were mothers, and they were planning on staying home and let their families celebrate their Motherness.
So, time passes and their daughters grow up and have families, and somewhere along the line THEY announce they are mothers, and THEY are going to stay home and let their families celebrate their Motherness. (Sound familiar??) Where we had one generation miffed because they were being ignored, now we have two.
I'd like to have a little sympathy, but it's hard to dredge up. I'm not sure where we got the idea that because one is a mother, one can ignore the fact they they HAVE a mother. Since I am the one who has never had children of my own, I'm the one who always celebrates Mother's Day with my mother. We have a standing date now to go to the brunch at Pappadeaux's for Cajun food. My step-children spend the day with their mother, and DH, my mother and I go out to brunch.
I have no idea how other families handle this little problem. It seems to me that they could all go out to dinner. Or....they could sleep in late, gather later in the day and let the men cook a casual meal. Or, they could spread the celebration out over a couple of weekends or days. There must be some rational way to celebrate the day without leaving anyone out. Right??
If you know how, share it with us!
Happy Mother's Day, all!
Comments (5)
Happy Mother's Day to you Buffy.
Posted by Dr. D. | May 8, 2004 9:29 AM
Posted on May 8, 2004 09:29
You are definitely not like a mother to me, Buffy (especially considering that I'm your elder by at least 10 years), but I hope that you have a good day tomorrow. You definitely deserve it for all you do for your mother. I always tried to make a bit of a deal of Mother's Day for my mother (not hard since most of the time we were hundreds of miles apart, so it consisted of sending something and a phone call) because it was important to her, but I consider MD just another occasion for the merchants to sell stuff that we don't need or want by making people feel guilty for neglecting us poor mothers. I care how Bogie and Sis treat me on a day-to-day, year-to-year basis and don't feel the need for them to appoint a special day for me. I love hearing from them at any time/seeing them anytime. Bogie and Sis treat me better than I deserve and I love them for it! You and Bogie, not being mothers, get cheated! Bummer.
Posted by Cop Car | May 8, 2004 9:13 PM
Posted on May 8, 2004 21:13
My dad's side of the family is quite strange but it works. My dad's father was married three times, the last two had been best friends. All the exwives remained friends. The last two ex-wives had raised their children together and they looked at my dad as a brother anyway, so holidays were always spent with EVERYone and no hard feelings, just a sense of love and togtherness.
Posted by Kristi | May 8, 2004 11:54 PM
Posted on May 8, 2004 23:54
My Mom gets a call from those of us that think of it (and I do think that at least one forgets each year)- none of us live remotely close to Mom, so a luncheon date would be impossible, but if we were near perhaps I'd get together with her on the Saturday, as Sunday is 'my time' to be pampered by my offspring - until they are older and have their own children.
My children and hubby take to acknowledging my position as Mother for now as they are here, living at home - being cared for and tended to daily by me, the Mom.
I understand your take on it Buffy, but, I understand your sibs too... I do see them in the right as it is their time to be celebrated - certainly they are in some way acknowledging your Mom, even if it is not actually getting together on the day of Mothers day?
Posted by Desiree | May 10, 2004 2:21 PM
Posted on May 10, 2004 14:21
Mother's Day has always been a big whap te do around our house. When I was living closer to my mama, I was also a mother, but I made it "HER" day. I mean she always made sure I had somthing special but I'd do the cooking and gifts through out the day for her. Now since I'm not living close any longer, I get very depressed on Mother's Day and miss that time I shared with her. However, I do make sure that every Mother's Day she has a large dish garden with 4 roses now ~ two white symoblizing me and my brother and two yellow one's symbolizing her grandchildren as the center piece at the church with a note attached. *I still have strings I can pull even being so far away* ~ One Mother's Day and Father's Day ~ I wrote how I felt and emailed it to a friend who made copies for all the church bulletins~ so when they got to church and opened their bulletins they had a special message from me to let them know how much I loved them and missed them. Not to mention I call too *smile*. But my Mother's Day every year is exactly what I want ~ breakfast and coffee in bed ~ a good book and the kids taken care of an entertained by their father!!! Basically MY DAY OFF!!!
Happy Mother's Day to you Buff!!
Posted by Jamie | May 10, 2004 5:33 PM
Posted on May 10, 2004 17:33