I don't think I've blogged about this. Things have been a little crazy here lately, so I might have. Forgive me if I've already shared this with you.
Nine days ago, I was in the kitchen, and Elegante Mother walked up to me and started speaking. I know she wanted to tell me that she had finished using the washer, but what came out of her mouth was a group of completely unrelated syllables.
I was watching her intently, wondering if something happened to my hearing. I thought at first that something was wrong with me, but I realized as I watched her, that she knew she wasn't saying words, let alone the right words.
Her eyes got big. I suspect that mine got big in return. The entire episode couldn't have lasted longer than 15 seconds. A second episode of about 6 seconds or so followed. On the advice of my-sister-the-nurse, I gave her the stroke test. I asked her to speak a simple sentence. I asked her to smile. I asked her to raise both arms. For comic relief, I asked her to stick out her tongue. She was fine.
There's been no more "speaking in tongues," but we have seen the doctor. He's fairly sure that EM had an itty bitty stroke in her speech center. To be sure, she will undergo a battery of tests tomorrow at our hospital, to rule out other possibilities.
My mother is ninety. You'd think I would be preparing myself for the time when she won't be here. I don't think that's possible.
My-sister-the-nurse pointed out to me that I've been providing EM with assisted living for some time. I actually hadn't thought much about it. Yes, I help her remember names of people and things, and on bad days, I help with memories that are dear to her. I am her chauffeur, and I am the nag that tells her she needs to eat more. I am the person who takes her shopping, and helps when she needs assistance going up stairs. She is still in charge of her life, but she's frail, and I can measure the change these days.
I hope, for both of us, that when it's our time, we go swiftly, in our sleep.
And I hope that time for her is a long way off, yet.
Comments (18)
Buffy,
I can imagine how worried you must be about your mother. My thoughts and best wishes are with you on this.
I would say that my father-in-law had problems last year, when he had spells forgetting basic information, like the name of his daughter, etc. The doctors told us that he had had some mini-strokes. The thing is that it seems to have passed and now he can talk properly and without worries. I hope that the same is true of EM.
Posted by Adele | January 5, 2007 4:22 AM
Posted on January 5, 2007 04:22
i hope so too buffy.
we all know the time will come, but we like to think it wont be yet. lots of love.xx
Posted by bod | January 5, 2007 8:17 AM
Posted on January 5, 2007 08:17
That is scary. Let's hope for the best. I understand your not get ready for anything bad. Take care, Buffy, you and Elegant Mother.
Posted by Claude | January 5, 2007 2:15 PM
Posted on January 5, 2007 14:15
Adele, there doesn't seem to be any lasting problems from this little stroke. Like your father-in-law, EM has occasional periods when she has difficulty remembering things, but it passes. I doubt you get to 90 without an occasional blip on the health screen. I'm thankful that she has been healthy for so long! I haven't talked with you about your mother for some time. I hope that she's comfortable, and that the current warm weather makes traveling to see her easier.
Posted by buffy | January 5, 2007 2:29 PM
Posted on January 5, 2007 14:29
Bod....that's SO right! I KNOW in my head, that she can't always be here, but my heart says....not yet!
Posted by buffy | January 5, 2007 2:30 PM
Posted on January 5, 2007 14:30
Yes, Claude, it IS scary. Thanks for your support.
Posted by buffy | January 5, 2007 2:31 PM
Posted on January 5, 2007 14:31
Buffy, I know that had to have scared you! Praying for all to be okay with EM! I know after seeing Big Nonnie and Daddy how hard it is to think something could happen to either of them. Big Nonnie is memory problems and well Daddy and all he has been through just really scares me!
Posted by Jamie | January 5, 2007 3:07 PM
Posted on January 5, 2007 15:07
Thank you, Jamie! As bod said...it's not time yet!
Posted by buffy | January 5, 2007 4:22 PM
Posted on January 5, 2007 16:22
Buffy,
My prayers are with you! My mom as well is 85 and has congenital heart failure, and her Dr. says she can go at any time. I know that,,,,,but I pray too,,,,,not yet,,,not now,,but if the lord wants her,,,,,I pray she goes easy in her sleep. What more can we ask for our loved ones.
I wish her many good years ahead.
Posted by Matty | January 6, 2007 11:55 AM
Posted on January 6, 2007 11:55
Matty, I think the hardest thing about this is to remember to spend this time wisely. We get caught up in everyday tedia, the repetitive things that make up our lives, when we could actually be using this time to create wonderful memories. My mother loves to shop, to go out to lunch, to do social things, and she has tempered some of that in order not to take too much of my time, since I have to work. I need to be sure that we have fun, and don't just focus on things that have to be done to move the family through the week.
I'm sure you understand. We're in the same place, wanting to stretch time out, and make the most of it. You have my good wishes and prayers.
Posted by buffy | January 6, 2007 8:25 PM
Posted on January 6, 2007 20:25
What you describe with your Mother is indeed very unsettling to say the least. Good that you got her to the doctor; that you know to seek immediate ER or medical attention with symptoms you describe and other movement and behavioral changes.
Thinking of my experience with my own mother some years ago, then after she had a slight stroke with the only residual effect being to her balance mechanism (no speech or language problems,) I just want to say I think that you have the right idea: "...using this time to create wonderful memories." My thoughts are with you and family.
Posted by Joared | January 8, 2007 3:47 AM
Posted on January 8, 2007 03:47
Oh no, so sorry to hear about this as well. Read post about hubby first. You have had a rough couple days. I'm afraid to read the post preceding this one.
My dad turns 79 today and is in assisted living suffering with Parkinsons.
You all take care.
Posted by janet | January 8, 2007 4:23 PM
Posted on January 8, 2007 16:23
What they all said.
Posted by Blue Witch | January 9, 2007 8:40 AM
Posted on January 9, 2007 08:40
Joared, if you knew my mother prior to her stroke, and saw her now, you wouldn't be able to see any difference. But, we KNOW there's a problem, and I'm sure that it's changing my behavior. I'm sure she will be happy when I stop "hovering" over her. I'm working on those "good memories."
Posted by buffy | January 9, 2007 3:33 PM
Posted on January 9, 2007 15:33
Janet, it's been a heck of a week. On top of all that, I STILL have that dratted cold. Luckily, I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for this morning, and she prescribed something for the cold so that I can get a decent night's sleep. It's gone on long enough that she's calling it "Bronchitis," but I think it's about ready to loosen it's grip. Now, if only my family will stay on an even keel, we might make it through January! *G*
Posted by buffy | January 9, 2007 3:36 PM
Posted on January 9, 2007 15:36
BW!....I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to post that comment! *G* There are times when I get to your blog, or to another that has a LOT of comments, and there's just nothing to add. I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one who is occasionally at a loss for a fresh way to comment.
Posted by buffy | January 9, 2007 3:38 PM
Posted on January 9, 2007 15:38
Janet, I missed the last line of your comment. I'm so sorry to hear that your Dad has to deal with Parkinson's, but I'm glad for you that he's still around at 79. I hope you still have the opportunity for good times!
Posted by Buffy | January 9, 2007 4:03 PM
Posted on January 9, 2007 16:03
My last line was you all take care!
Posted by janet | January 9, 2007 5:47 PM
Posted on January 9, 2007 17:47