Why do Mothers-in Law have such a bad reputation? Just this week I've heard several jokes on the subject, and it's been discussed on the radio. Is there really something that happens to your mother once you marry, or is this just a convenient subject for comedians?
I have no doubt that there are mothers who pester about grand children, and it's probable there are mothers who want the best for their children, and don't have the sense to mind their own business. But I find it difficult to believe that it's universal.
And why do we focus on mothers, when it's likely that fathers-in-law are just as bad? You don't hear father-in-law jokes. You hear about fathers-in-law who watch football and smoke cigars with their sons-in-law, but the world pretends that the men don't nag or interfere. HAH! They do, they just don't get written up for it.
Fourteen years ago we built our home with the intention of having my mother live with us. Things are not always easy, as you would expect in a house where three generations live, but my mother doesn't qualify for the traditional MIL jokes. She doesn't nag me about having children, and she adores Dear Husband! When she feels that I'm not being kind enough to him, she bakes him cookies. There are some who'd say DH deserves a halo for living with his mother-in-law, but I'd say he has life pretty easy. Mother refers to him as the "Boss."
We've had a long standing complaint in our family. I have three sisters and one brother. The girls have always said that Mother always did love our brother more than she loves us. (It was said tongue in cheek, but it hit a nerve.) Now, I can complain that not only does she love my brother more, but she loves my husband more, too. It's a really good thing that Mother doesn't use a computer, or I'd be in hot water for spilling the beans.
Aside from some minor hurt feelings about not being the favorite, I guess I'm pretty lucky that Mother likes DH. I don't want to contemplate what our lives would be like if she DIDN'T like him. Perhaps that's where all the Mother-in-law jokes got started.....
Comments (8)
I was talking to my mother n law when I pulled this up and laughed telling her I'd have to find something good to post about her. Since I have introduced her to the "blog" world and how to find your blog to boot.
I think with anything in life, it boils down to adjustments. When you start combinding families just as in our immediate families we might not like someone but are in a situation where we can't help but love them. It took me the "second time" around to find a good husband as well as it took me the "second time" around to find a good mother n law.
Our time at first together was not all roses, more thorns than roses, but we've worked through it and now we have more roses than thorns.
But to answer your question I'll answer with this question ~ if we can figure out the root of where mother n law jokes came from then maybe we can figure out where psychologist place the root of all evil at one's mother's feet.
And Buffy, don't feel bad, my mama loves my hubby more than me also ~
Posted by Jamie | September 12, 2003 2:25 PM
Posted on September 12, 2003 14:25
Mothers alwways love their children and think they're perfect in spite of evidence to the contrary, and hence will often take the childs side.
Posted by Pob | September 12, 2003 3:44 PM
Posted on September 12, 2003 15:44
Pob ~ I want your mother!!! *big smile*
Posted by Jamie | September 12, 2003 4:20 PM
Posted on September 12, 2003 16:20
It is my belief that since most comedy has been done for years by men, they had to find a "safe" focal point. They will attack their family, and occasionally their wives, but only if they're not afraid to sleep on the couch. Going after a father in law is like going after a friend. They need at least one bastion of safety when they go after the wife and her mother. And men being men, the fathers in law probably gave most of the information to the son in law to begin with. Therefore, the mother in law becomes a great target.
Posted by Wichi Dude | September 12, 2003 9:32 PM
Posted on September 12, 2003 21:32
Pob, I'd grant that mothers love their SONS.....well, alright SOME mothers love their daughters, but you have two examples here where Moms love their sons-in-law more. I suppose that's a natural response, but I don't think a parent should show favoritism.
I think that WichiDude has hit it on the head. Add to it, that a lot of men have their mothers-in-law wrapped around their little fingers, and you have a safe outlet for teasing.
Posted by Buffy | September 13, 2003 10:34 AM
Posted on September 13, 2003 10:34
...I know that male comedians tell mother-in-law jokes but in reality the hardest "in-law" is the groom's mother or the bride's father..in both cases it is because the 'light of their life' is now with someone who probably ain't up to scratch...in the case of the bride - look after my little boy...in the case of the groom - he only married my daughter for one thing!!!...well, this is true in our marriage anyhoo - my mum is terrible and cal's dad can be very hard work...but I have never understood mum-in-law jokes - I mean isn't the expression "if you want to see what she'll look like in 30 years - look at her mum"...doesn't this mean they are just veiled attacks at "the wife" :^)...
Posted by billy | September 14, 2003 2:04 PM
Posted on September 14, 2003 14:04
I know it's a week late, but I don't have a life right now. . .
About Mom - just think about what life would be like if you WERE her favorite! Personally, always being on her shit list has some very predictable percs to it!
LU sis!
Posted by Nan | September 17, 2003 2:55 PM
Posted on September 17, 2003 14:55
my mil thinks my husband should suport her for the rest of her life now that has a well paying job, she minipulates men into trying to suport her. She moved into our house when we were at work, brought a uhaul and all her belongings. She hates me and makes up all kinds of storys about me. She only spends time with our doughter when its convienite for her.She brings her friends over to our home , that my husband and I hate. She disrespcts us in our home on a daily bases. We tryed every thing to make her leave and make her unconfortable but it makes it worse , now she walks around pitifully saying" I have no where to go". She also walks around saying this place is a shit whole. I hate my mil
Posted by amy | August 20, 2004 4:45 PM
Posted on August 20, 2004 16:45