Have you been divorced? Do you have a child who is divorced? Were your parents divorced? Do you have a relative who has been divorced??
Okay.....do you have family photographs with the ex-spouse? The question of the day is, do you leave them in the picture or have them air-brushed out? Or perhaps you feel more strongly and have CUT them out of the picture!
Somewhere I have photographs of my first wedding. I suppose I even have some pictures with my former husband and some of my family members. They are not in an album, so I've just tucked them away. It never occured to me to have him air brushed out of those pictures. After all, he's part of my history. I don't dwell on him, but I don't deny his existance, either.
It seems some families are so happy to be rid of that spouse they DO air brush them out. I was listening to a discussion of this on the radio, and one woman called in to say that her mother had very carefully decapitated her son's ex-wife in every picture!
A man called in who will be getting married for the second time. He was visiting his grandmother and discovered that there were pictures of him and his ex-wife on the wall next to the stairs. He folded some of the pictures back to hide his ex, and took some of the pictures off the wall. He was afraid his new wife might not understand. Unfortunately, he did this without discussing it with his grandmother. He felt she would never know what he had done, and that she would understand his reasoning.
Have you kept wedding albums from previous marriages? Do you keep them as a part of the history of your life? Or, do feel they no longer deserve a place in your family? My family is not terribly picture oriented, so perhaps this was an easier decision for us than it is for some of you.
A woman called in to tell of a nice compromise. When her husband's children had grown, they gave his son the album from his father's wedding, since the pictures were of his parents. What will you do with yours?
Comments (8)
I'm finally back in the land of the blogging and pictures are being discussed! WooHoo!
I guess I'm not into revisionist history. Things happen, things change. I would still keep 'em.
Posted by PJ | September 30, 2003 3:37 PM
Posted on September 30, 2003 15:37
I've kept every one...I don't want my kids to feel alienated, and I DO want to imply that we were happy ONCE, hence their existance. Nowadays, I get along great with the ex-in-laws, but not much at all with the ex. Just had a new grandson, and the ex-in-laws, myself, and the daughter and grandson all got in the same picture. My ex must have cringed, but probably not as much as his current wife! File under: "One of Life's Simple Pleasures"!
Posted by MaryAnn | September 30, 2003 3:47 PM
Posted on September 30, 2003 15:47
My mother gave my sister and I her wedding pictures from her and our fathers wedding...
I still have pictures with my ex in them...hell I have 3 kids with the man, it's not like he's going to drop off the earth (unfortunately) but I don't display them anywhere, and figure I will give them to my boys or their families they have when the time comes...he's still their father after all, and they're a part of him to
Posted by Redeagle | September 30, 2003 5:19 PM
Posted on September 30, 2003 17:19
I have all the photo's of my ex to include the wedding album and all of it's glory. I have them packed away for safe keeping in Q15's room. It is a part of his history even though he is now adopted by Speedbump, we still have contact with that side of the family. In Q15's room he has a photo of my ex's "new" family and a cologe *however you spell it* of photo's taken of him and my ex-inlaws taken when they came to visit in Texas. My parents have never removed any photo's from the photo albums of my ex or ex boyfriends for that matter so at any given time you can find photo's of the other men in my life that I've allowed to meet my parents. Yet, they are not displayed in their house nor mine *except Q15's room*.
Posted by Jamie | September 30, 2003 6:45 PM
Posted on September 30, 2003 18:45
It seems we are in agreement that the photos should be kept. I liked PJ's comment about not being into "revisionist history"! (Nice to see you posting again, PJ!)
Welcome, MaryAnn. It was nice to have you visit.
Jamie, and T, I figured you would be pretty down to earth about this subject.
Posted by Buffy | September 30, 2003 11:37 PM
Posted on September 30, 2003 23:37
I am my husband's third wife and I am having problems that he is still keeping all photos from his ex's. I must say that I have nothing against keeping photos from marriages with children. But his second marriage was more a convenience marriage (2yrs) for her and they had no kids together. He said he was madly in love with that girl and it hurts me when I find wedding photos of them, smiling at each other. What do you guys think about that? Should pics from marriages without children be destroyed or moved from one apartment to another with me?? Please email me!
Posted by Monika | November 21, 2003 2:47 PM
Posted on November 21, 2003 14:47
My wife, and I have being married for over two years now, and I still have a problem with her
keeping the pictures of her second husband...
She has pictures of her first husband, and I don't seem to have a problem with that. But her
second husband molested her 10 year old daughter
from the first marriage, and I'm about to adopt
the 6 year old son of the second husband...
Just thought I would get some feed back from everyone to see if I was thinking wrongly!
Thanks,
John.
Posted by John | May 19, 2004 8:41 PM
Posted on May 19, 2004 20:41
I am just in the process of getting divorced - we have only been married 2 years and (thank God) have no children. Our wedding pictures are not even in an album yet! I have decided to put together an album anyway .... it is not a bitter divorce, we just have "philosophical differences" on life. So, I am making a scrapbook album and I am including all of the supportive cards and emails that I am receiving from family and friends so that I can feel good when I look at the pictures and realize how this relationship helped me grow. It will be a reminder that I am slowly becoming the woman that I want to be.
Posted by suzette | June 26, 2004 6:31 AM
Posted on June 26, 2004 06:31