The subject I want to put before you is a difficult one to present without sounding whiney, and that's not my intent. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you have probably figured out that I have married a man who has four children, but we have not had any children together. I met my step-children when they were between the ages of 12 and 19, and I had very little impact on their lives other than to teach them not to make social calls to us after 9:00 at night, and not to snicker when croutons are served with a salad.
That's not what I want to write about, though.
I've been thinking that there needs to be a day to celebrate women who HAVEN'T borne children.
I love my grandson, and I'll love the new baby that's on his way. I love every one of my thirteen nieces and nephews and every one of their sixteen (and three-quarters) children, and all the attendant spouses! Still.....when Mother's Day comes around, their attention is directed toward their mothers, and rightly so.
I don't want to take anything away from mothers. They deserve a LOT of praise. What I want to do is direct your thoughts toward the women you know who haven't borne children, and remind you to praise them as well.
Perhaps this simply calls for random acts of kindness that aren't quite so random. Childless women spend a lot of their lives loving and caring for other women's children. It's that love that I want to celebrate. Rather than having a Non-Mother's Day (which is adding hurt to the situation), perhaps the random approach is best.
Choose your own time, but each year let those women know in some way that you appreaciate them . Some of the best celebrations are the ones that are "just 'cuz!"
And one last thought.....My lovely husband hand writes a card to me each Mother's Day which is from "my children." It's signed with two little paw prints, and has a brief bit of doggeral (never catteral.....he's a dog lover). I've collected them over the years as momentos from my "kids." *G*
Now....go do something nice. Just 'cuz.
Comments (4)
I usually send out Mother's Day cards to those I call "mom" who don't have any children. When I get them in the mail which is usually long after Mother's Day. Hallmark makes such a variety of cards sending out loving messages to those who don't have children by birth, but to show they are still a mother in one's eye. Since the discovery of email getting me to snail mail anything is a task in itself but I do at least try ~ if I don't make connection with snail mail I then make a phone call.
Posted by Jamie | September 30, 2003 6:50 PM
Posted on September 30, 2003 18:50
I like the random approach.
This right here, right now, is a special Greeting Card for my Blogging Buddy, Buffy..for being who you are, representing all you represent, and writing a blog that so often brings joy and amusement to Blogland.
With best wishes and kind affection, Roberta.
Posted by Roberta | September 30, 2003 6:59 PM
Posted on September 30, 2003 18:59
I think that's a great idea.
Try not to rule out that you're also a step mom... in some ways being a step-parent is a TOUGH job in an of itself.
Posted by -=e=- | September 30, 2003 7:03 PM
Posted on September 30, 2003 19:03
-=e=- you're definitely right! Being a Step-Mom requires a delicate balancing act. It takes a while to learn when to participate and when to mind your own business.
Jamie, it's lovely that you remember your "moms." I have no doubt they appreciate those cards.
Thank you, Roberta! I'm touched by your kind comments. *S*
Posted by Buffy | September 30, 2003 11:30 PM
Posted on September 30, 2003 23:30