I was on-line in the office today, when my eyes started to tear up. Then my nose wrinkled, and I started to gag. I stood up to start the fan, and looked over to confirm that Defer was lying in the doorway of the office, with his hindquarters in the office. I've GOT to get that dog off canned dog food!
My mother had some very strict ideas about raising children, and what was acceptable. We did NOT chew gum, burp, or pass gas, and if we up-chucked....we cleaned it up ourselves. I do not remember ever hearing my father fart. As a matter of fact....that word was not part of my vocabulary until I met my present husband.
DH was very restrained the first six years I knew him. Then we married and the honeymoon was over. I should have realized what I was going to have to deal with when his partner asked if he disappeared from the room frequently. He started out letting small sounds escape, and gradually progressed to the louder, more prolonged productions. There have been days when I wasn't sure who was worse, DH, or the dog.
We'll be sitting in the living room and he will shift on the couch, lifting a hip, and sigh with satisfaction. I've developed a series of expressions to convey the depth of my displeasure, to no avail. The worst, though, are the silent deadlies. Lord spare me from the silent ones!
Explain to me why he NEVER does this in front of my mother? It's not like he's afraid of her. Why is it okay to do it to me? You'd think if he loved me he'd treat me better.
DH has a lot to commend him. He doesn't cuss or smoke; he drinks sparingly. He has a long list of sterling attributes, and this failing. For our next wedding anniversary I'm going to help him with that one failing. His present will be a big cork!
Comments (7)
I didn't know this should be that offensive. I thought all men do that. Hub calls it a 'colorful comment that is meant to express gratefulness for happiness and contentment within his home and FREEDOM'. I accept that. It's similar to George Bush's style of freedom. You know - the shock and awe campaign.
Posted by Roberta | July 7, 2003 3:55 AM
Posted on July 7, 2003 03:55
It's a plot, Roberta, a stinking PLOT!
Mad Bull....sorry, I deleted your comment when I deleted the double entry on this post. Fred hass access to my blog address, but I doubt he reads it. He's simply not interested in communicating on the computer. But, don't worry......he knows what I think! *G*
Posted by Buffy | July 7, 2003 3:30 PM
Posted on July 7, 2003 15:30
I think my love has decided that he can offer up his bodily functions as if there were some prize at stake. Unfortunately, you can guess the example it has set for your nieces! At 12 and 14, they rival any teenage boy for their expressions of culinary gratitude. As for the other end, they still have retained a degree of modesty. Still, we know when it's a good idea to roll the windows down . . . FAST!
I wonder if there is really any possibility of retraining my husband? I've tried "the look" without much success. Guilt trips bring retribution.
Perhaps this falls under the catagory of "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Liberation really isn't so bad! Just don't tell Mom!
Posted by Nancy Franklin | July 7, 2003 11:06 PM
Posted on July 7, 2003 23:06
I'm delighted to tell you that your daughters were above reproach during their visit! Of course....they might have been worried about what MOTHER would have said...not me.
Why does "THE LOOK" work for her, and not for us??
There must be SOMETHING you can do to get even with your dear one.....hanging your bras in the shower, or leaving personal things around.......
I've got it! Ask him to purchase those "lady-works supplies" for you! It seems only fair that we even up the score a bit.
Puleeeeeeeeeezzzeee...tell me you haven't given in!
Posted by Buffy | July 8, 2003 1:50 PM
Posted on July 8, 2003 13:50
ROFLMAO!!!! I can so see your sister saying this and expected NO LESS in your response Buffy!!! I've somehow managed to keep these type things at bay, don't know how exactly, but Speed is well behaved in that area ~ I guess he figures if he wants to keep up his "pervertness" in life he needs to forego the other bodily functions to only happen in the bathroom.
Posted by Jamie | July 9, 2003 9:28 AM
Posted on July 9, 2003 09:28
Since I suspect that we ALL have this problem sometime or other, some guys must just have better manners than others. I suspect my Dad's mother wouldn't let him in the house if he had gas, so he learned to deal with it early. Speed is a gentleman! *G*
Posted by Buffy | July 10, 2003 7:05 AM
Posted on July 10, 2003 07:05
i thought ur story was gay so i couldn't finish it so ur gay and all of you are gay so there!!!! bye gay ones
Posted by natalie | September 13, 2003 4:44 PM
Posted on September 13, 2003 16:44