I was visiting -e-'s blog, Wazzup, today, and read what he had to say about people who blog. I'm a newbie to blogging, but I've chatted in several formats for about three years. I am NOT surprised to find that people have the same failings here that they do elsewhere on-line.
I've never understood people who create a fake persona. What joy is there in hiding your true self from the people you talk with? When I first started chatting, I was disturbed by the A/S/L question that was always asked. I was reluctant to discuss age because I assumed that younger people would feel they had nothing in common with me. When asked my age, I would say that I was 84, walked with a cane, had a dowager's hump, hair sprouted out of my chin, I drooled, and was toothless. Now...I really wasn't hiding behind a fake persona, I was simply unwilling to give out a lot of personal information. Anyone who took the time to talk with me after reading that description got the truth, or as much as was appropriate for that person. After all, we never really know who we are talking to until we meet them, so safety is an issue.
I recall one person who felt it was his purpose in life to stir up trouble. He could be guaranteed to disagree or bring up a volatile subject. He was actually a charming man who needed to work on his self image. He was able, with the help of a friend, to virtually shut down the discussion on a Onelist. I still don't understand what satisfaction that brought to him. I assume that the need to have power over others surfaces here, as it does in real life.
The other kind of behavior that I fail to understand is being "two-faced." I don't know about you, but if I know a person is saying one thing to me, and something totally different to another, I can't trust that person. I'm sure that person is going to turn on me at some point, and I don't want to be there to receive that kind of treatment.
I'm a "What-you-see-is-what-you-get" sort of person. I am relatively non-confrontational, but if you push me, I'll tell you exactly what I'm thinking, and that brings us to something else Eric said. We all put our best foot forward on-line. Although I've seen what seems to be incredible honesty on a few blogs, most of us present ourselves in the best light possible. I think that's human nature. I'm not likely to share my deepest thoughts with you. Since we limit what we tell our loved ones, it should come as no surprise that we put greater restictions on what we say here.
Soooooo.....tell me what you're thinking. Share discussions on the vagaries of life.....rant with me about the wrongs in the world. Just don't assume that you know me, until we've met.....and maybe not even then.
-e-........it sounds like you're having a tough day. I hope things improve, soon!
Comments (9)
Oh no, I'm fine. I just got to thinking about a lot of things after remark on my site, and then a recent flame war I saw. (Ironically, one of those people involved wrote almost the <a href="http://www.electricvenom.com/oldvenom/002171.php">very same thing</a> I did.) I find it amazing how people are seen differently. Depending on what what circle of blogs you read, I'm seen as a different person... which is ironic because in real life, I am very much a chameleon. I become the people I'm surrounded by, I'm sure it's a defense mechanism.
Blogs are all very one-sided stories. It's told in first-person, and it's based on how we see ourselves. Our friends see us a little differently, but that's okay... it's what makes us three dimensional. And they seem to like us anyway. :0)
And well, you're in one of the "better circles of blogs". But of course you know that already.
Posted by -=e=- the merciless™ | June 4, 2003 7:10 PM
Posted on June 4, 2003 19:10
Hi Buffy. I think I posted about this already in an entry entitled, "How much of this is you?" Like you, I don't reveal all about myself online. There is stuff that I would really discuss with family and close friends only. I agree with what you say about us tending to put our best foot forward. Even though we may tend to 'decorate' a bit, I am by no means perfect (who is?). But, what you get of me is true.
Like you, I tend to be non-confrontational, and I aviod blogs where lots of cussing and fuss takes place. Too much hassle. Life is already too full of its worries and pressures to take that on line. I like the relaxation this brings me. I love good spirited commentary and you need not agree with my opinion either. If we all agreed on everything that would make life boring.
So, -e- refers to this as the 'better circle of blogs'. Nice to be thought of in this light.....(whoever said he was referring to me????!!!)
Posted by Dr. D. | June 4, 2003 7:45 PM
Posted on June 4, 2003 19:45
Dear "Merciless,"
I had not given it a thought, but I should have realized how classy a circle of blogs I've joined. I'm lucky that Red Eagle invited me into the midst of such nice people!
Like Dr. D, I feel that a lot of fuss is too much hassle, so I hope that I won't get to experience a flame war. I'm relieved to know that you're not letting the stupidity get you down.
Dr. D., you're right! You DID talk about this. I remember the post. I guess -e- just struck a chord with me today.
I think you could safely assume that you are part of the circle of blogs -e- referred to. *S*
Posted by Buffy | June 4, 2003 10:36 PM
Posted on June 4, 2003 22:36
It wouldn't BE the circle without Dr. D.
(Must work on Cussin' & fussin' problem so he visits me more)
Posted by -=e=- | June 5, 2003 1:06 AM
Posted on June 5, 2003 01:06
Well Buff, I've met you in real life, so I know what you are saying!!!! You also know my feelings on this subject more than one person cares to know *S* ~ what gets me through all the type people that is being refered too that they are so blinded by blaming other's for their problems that they can not see they are the source of their "own" problems!!! I'm as you are painfully aware, "what you see is what you get", as well as, I can be VERY conrontational. Yet, here lately, I tend to lie in wait, and that is when I'm most dangerous *S* ~ what Dr. D, ~e~ and yourself have posted is GREAT!!!!! At least now I don't feel so alone *S*
Please note how I've refrained in saying how I really feel *big grin*
Posted by Jamie | June 5, 2003 1:15 AM
Posted on June 5, 2003 01:15
Feelings of kinship happen in real life and surprisingly happen on websites as well. Each short bit of communication reveals something about each of us. Just today, Buffy, I read your comment on my site and was proud to be your friend in the world of cyperspace.
Posted by Roberta | June 5, 2003 2:05 AM
Posted on June 5, 2003 02:05
I too had adressed something along the lines of this... but it does come and bring itself to attention time and again. Unbelievable the lengths some go to to create the fake selves, (Zander being an example - for those who knew of him.) Why do that?? I couldn't hold a story line ongoing, my real life is what I know about, so that is what I write about (and if it is not to ones likeing, well tough.)
I was invoved too with webchat and a chatroom before moving on to the sane-ness of blogging, and I can very definately draw some similarities of the two as you do Buffy.
Posted by Desiree | June 5, 2003 2:52 AM
Posted on June 5, 2003 02:52
Isn't it fascinating how many of us have focused on this issue in the past month or so? I think we really need to be working with very young children on the concept of "Play nice with others!" It seems that we've gotten to an era when self is far more important than community, and self is more important than honesty. I hate to sound like my mother, but.......this change has NOT been for the best.
One good thing to come from all of this, is the sense of community I'm finding with all of you. Thanks so much for taking the time to read, AND to respond, to my ramblings. *S*
Posted by Buffy | June 5, 2003 3:39 PM
Posted on June 5, 2003 15:39
Seems like we all get around to blogging etiquette or the ever-present "why blog?" question. You hit a lot of points that I hadn't read before.
I blog for several reasons, but mostly for the fun. My blog is me, but not all of me. My real name isn't Texas T-Bone, but I'm T-Bone because it's fun. And my family is the Petite Filet and the Cutlet for fun as well.
Never understood the naysayers and party poopers who like to stir things up. If I find a site I don't like, I silently wander off. Leaving a nasty comment does not benefit anyone.
Posted by Texas T-Bone | June 9, 2003 12:49 PM
Posted on June 9, 2003 12:49