I was reading over at Broad at Bat's blog today. Her entry for August 4th is very introspective. I had to make myself read all the way to the bottom.
I know that sounds bad, and it has nothing to do with the quality of her writing, and all to do with my ability to play "ostrich" about my own situation.
Being introspective gives me the willies. If I took the time to look into my heart, or my mind, I might actually figure out what drives me, and it that's GOT to be scary! On the other hand.....I'm getting to a point in life where it might not be a good idea to drag my feet on this.
The power of positive mental attitude. Who used to talk about that? Was it W. Clement Stone? I can't remember, but it seems to me that our physical health has got to start with a healthy mental attitude about life, and our place in life.
Somewhere, my healthy attitude has gotten set aside, or lost along the way. I'm willing to admit that I HATE exercising for the sake of exercise. Give me something to do that disguises the exercise, and I don't mind so much, but exercising because I know it's good for me sucks pond water! And yet, I know that's just what I have to get myself to do. So....WHY have I waited so long to embrace that issue? See, what I mean about introspection? Do I really want to know if I have a death wish, or if I'm just terminallly lazy?? Gives me the willies....
I've been reading a series of books by Janet Evanovich. The main character is Stephanie Plum, who has lost a job as a lingerie buyer and had to turn to her cousin for a job. Unfortunately, Cousin Vinnie is in bail bonds, and he hires Steph as bounty hunter. She's totally unprepared for the job in every way. She's bailed out by a cop and a fellow bounty hunter again and again. Between having her cars blown up, and loosing her man repeatedly, she shops for Tastykakes......in every flavor.....by the pound. As I read about her eating junk food, or going to her mother's for dinner (read: comfort food), one part of me nods in agreement. I can understand exactly how she feels. Another part of me is going....."DON'T EAT THAT!" I feel really schizophrenic, and Evanovich must have read my mind before she wrote several of the scenes.
Okay....you just saw a prime example of my ability to play ostrich. I neatly detoured off the subject of introspection, and put the focus on a fictional character, moving it away from myself. I've been doing that for too many years to count, and I think I've just hit the wall. Pardon me while I bang my head against it for a bit.
Do I want to be healthy? YES
Do I want to be healthy enough to eat appropriately? Well....yes....sorta.
WHY am I not running to embrace a healthy lifestyle. Okay....ya got me there.
I really don't know why, and I need to find out.
It's time to quit pretending that I'm Peter Pan, and accept that I am an adult. And....it's time to make adult choices. The question is.....where do I start?
Comments (5)
Ohhh, Tastycakes. My favorite. I've heard about the series by Janet Evanovich, and the Stephanie Plum character. (one of our guys at work reads all her stuff). I've heard it is set on the North East coast; the New York and New Jersey area. I may have to read some of her books, I may get hooked.
Posted by Wichi Dude | August 8, 2004 11:17 AM
Posted on August 8, 2004 11:17
Your quandry sounds the same as mine. I should guess that, since the majority of folks in the USA are overweight (at least!), we have a lot of company. We want to have it all--without having to work at it. Yes, I want to be of an appropriate weight and healthy, but gad! don't make me work at it. That is so booooring. A friend and I have been working out at a fitness center for a couple of years, now. We are in better condition, but not an ounce lighter. When you come up with the real answer, please tell me so that I don't have to think it through! LOLLOL all the way to the loony bin.
Posted by Cop Car | August 8, 2004 8:15 PM
Posted on August 8, 2004 20:15
OMG!!!!!! Is there really such a thing as Tastycakes??? I thought she'd made them up! lol
Cop Car, I know I have a lot of company, but I'm really tired of carrying all this weight around, and disgusted that I keep finding ways to shoot down my diet. It's making me feel really schizophrenic!
We skipped ONE six week session at exercise, and I'm gaining. Now, I'll not only have to go back to exercise, I'll have to add walking to my routine or I'll never loose. :-(
Posted by Buffy | August 11, 2004 12:38 AM
Posted on August 11, 2004 00:38
It gets harder as you get older, doesn't it?
I know the secret (for me at least) - give up the cheese and give up the wine. I'm not prepared to do either, so I'm currently swimming or doing aquacise every day. I'm feeling fitter already after nearly 2 weeks - but probably haven't lost any weight.
Posted by Blue Witch | August 11, 2004 4:49 PM
Posted on August 11, 2004 16:49
Yes, BW...it DOES get harder as we get older. I don't drink enough wine, and I get too much cheese. I think I could drink more wine and give up starches and I would loose. A glass of wine and I wouldn't mind dieting, but we might have to worry about me becoming a lush.
Posted by Buffy | August 12, 2004 8:37 PM
Posted on August 12, 2004 20:37