As I've Matured (Arrrgh!!!)

This is another post QT has shared with me. Author, if you'd like to step forward, I'd be happy to give you all the credit! Comments in Parenthesies are mine.

As I've Matured

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk
them and hope they panic and give in. (My apologies to those who have been stalked.)

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. (Boy, is THIS true!)

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jack
asses.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more
screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're
finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are
celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your
house, one of your kids did it. (The kids are gone, so I need to reword this to blame DH.)

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. (And I walk it daily.)

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you
too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real
pains in the butts are permanent.