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So, I found, signed up, and have been thinking ever since about the “Blogging for LGBT Families Day”…of course, now that it’s here, I’m not really sure what I want to write about.
I could write about being a lesbian mom…but that is a bit to raw and painful right now.
You see, as most of you know, I’m the mom of 3 wonderful boys. The painful part, is that they still live in Oklahoma with their father.
I’m sure some people think I wanted it that way, that it was a decision that we made, etc….well, if you know me, you know nothing could be further from the truth.
The raw part, is that I’m supposed to get them for visits…you know the routine, I’m sure…well, they’re saying they don’t want to come now…although, 2 of them can’t even tell me why…I’m not stupid, I know why. (and yes, it has a lot to do with the parent they live with!)
I could write about being a lesbian daughter…about the family I was raised in…but that would be a very short story.
So…I think I can write about a different type of family…the one you make yourself.
As a very dear friend said to me on my wedding day, when I was upset that only one member of my family was there (my uncle, who I still don’t think realizes what it meant to me that he was there) told me “T, your family is right here” (she was right, in so many ways)
In some respects, that which I call my family is very unique. We have 4 people in our household, my wife, myself, our ‘daughter’ and her daughter.
I would challenge anyone to tell me that we are not a family…we laugh together, cry together, feel each others pain, help one another. Everything any other ‘family’ does that is recognized by our government.
However…My wife and I have to file ‘single’ on our income taxes…it would cost a small fortune for us to draw up the papers that give the other one the right to visit the other in the hospital, to make medical decisions, and over 1,049 other rights and benefits (federal, we’re not even counting state here) rights that other ‘families’ take for granted.
Does this make me mad? oh hell yes! How dare the government try to legislate what I can and cannot do in the privacy of my own home, how dare they try to tell me that my family is not ‘valid’, that as far as they’re concerned, I don’t exist!
Last I checked, my tax dollars still payed their salary…I bet if I stopped paying those they’d sure say I exist! I’m not hurting anyone, I’m not breaking any laws, yet, I don’t have the same rights and privileges as other Americans (and before you say ‘yes you do, you could marry a man’, been there, done that, no way in hell!!)
Well…I didn’t mean for this to turn into a rant…but I can’t help that it upsets me the way they treat our families…and I guess, when it comes down to it, that’s what this is all about.

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