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In the midst of all the discussion, I received this comment…
“Just saw your “How dare you presume I’m heterosexual!” comment, and it made me wonder…and this is a serious question…does it ever piss you off to be lumped in with the whole “LGBT” category?
Posted by Old Comedywriter at May 20, 2005 10:58 PM”

I’m not really sure I understand the question here, why would it piss me off? I am part of the whole LGBT community.
Does it upset me that it seems to be the only way the media will show any of us, say at a pride parade or event seems to be the most ‘flaming’ of us all?
Does it irk me that very little of what people see of us have anything to do with what we’re really like? that we have lives, families, loves, and are really not any different from the whole ‘straight’ community, except for the gender of the person we love?
Does it bother me that people seem to think our lives are all about promiscuity, and nothing about commitment and love, and they’re doing their damndest to see that we are never able to be legally committed to each other?
Yes, that bothers me!
does being called a lesbian, damn lesbian, fucking carpet muncher, damn dyke, etc…bother me? nope, it certainly does not. (however, I am not a dyke, I am a femme, if you’re not certain of the difference I’ll elaborate, or someone here will I’m sure! :lol)
Does it bother me to be associated with the ‘flamer’s’, absolutely not!! They, in their way, I believe, are working towards the same goal all of us are, and that is no more, and no less, rights than the straight community as a whole take for granted everyday.
hope this answers your question :sun_smiley

6 Replies to “comment reply”

  1. Hey…you forgot to say ‘invisible’ femme… *LOL*
    On a serious note… I have a number of straight friends – one of which doesn’t know of any other friends of his that are openly gay. We got close and he became a ‘confidant’ of sorts. At some point during the course of our friendship, I was very upset over the state of my relationship. In the midst of talking with my friend about it…he suddenly said, “wow…you really have actual feelings for this girl.” It was an eye-opener for both of us. I didn’t know he was so ‘unaware’ of this and he didn’t know (until then) that it’s not just about the sex. We both learned something that day and now he understands much more about ‘the lifestyle’ than he did before. Now he knows that it’s not just who we have sex with…but who we love and live our lives with…

  2. I agree BlueWolf, 100% it’s not just about the sex. Though that’s how a lot of straight people tend to see us. Funny when I see a straight couple the first thing I think of is NOT what they do in the bedroom. But I guess the stereotypes have been fostered throughout the years and people now believe that to be the only truth. It’s sad really.
    Fear and Ignorance keep these people in the dark so to speak. They really make it harder then it is though. As you said T, nothing is different other then the sex of the person we love. It’s really very simple… = )

  3. I think with SOME people it IS fear and ignorance. With others, I think it’s just a matter of being judgemental. I have many gay friends, most of them are male and only two of the couples are female. The males seem to switch partners every couple of months. The females have pretty much stayed together since I’ve known them, but its impossible to predict who’s with whom from week to week. Obviously, that’s more about who each of them are than about the gay community as a whole, but I think that is what leads people to believe that gays are more promiscuous than heteros. I really don’t get why people are threatened by gay relationships. YOUR relationship, whether straight or otherwise, can not possibly effect mine. In fact, people should realize how much they insult their OWN relationship when they admit to being threatened by anyone else’s.
    The only thing I question is being identified SO much about one aspect of our lives. I’m not just a wife, or mother or anything else. I’m many different things and though I may identify more on any given day with one of those titles, I AM all of them, just as everyone else is. None of us should paint ourselves or anyone else under a single title. (Well, at least where I am concerned you can ALWAYS paint me under the title of “Bitch” because that one will ALWAYS fit me! LOL)

  4. Wait… I forgot to add that two of my heterosexual friends are more promiscuous than all of them put together. I shit you not, those two chicks have been known to sleep with two or three different guys a week. I don’t understand that, but I threw it in here because when I commented that some of the gay guys I know switch partners quite often, I didn’t want anyone to think I don’t recognize that heteros do it, too.
    I just think it’s a convenient target for the insecure. I TRY not to judge anyone… not always successful at that, as anyone who’s read the last couple of days comments ca see… but I don’t care what anyone’s interpretation of the bible is. God says “Judge ye not, lest ye be judged” and that’s what I TRY to remember. We will all be judged when our time comes, and I’m just glad it won’t be me given that task.

  5. Well, I guess this topic is very close to alot of us – as we are asked this question nearly on a daily basis – regardless of if it’s asked by words, gestures, or dirty looks, etc. I absolutely do NOT get offended when I’m lumped into the GLBT community. I am proud to be apart of this community – because here is where I can express myself freely. I do, however, agree with Kristi – I do NOT define myself by my sexual orientation. I am Tara. I have a great kid – a fantastic partner – great parents – and fabulous friends. But the bottom line is – I’m Tara. I am me. All aspects of my surroundings make me – not just the fact that I love a woman. Anway – just my .02! 😀

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