Seen on a truck today:
HORN DOESN’T WORK. WATCH FOR FINGER!

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding the items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. “So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked. “No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal, evil think I could do to him.”
(WICKED GRIN)