My thanks to my oldest stepson, who sends me lists! THe most recent list:
1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
2. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
3. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
4. Deja moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check three friends.
If they’re OK, you’re it.
6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
7. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
8. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
10. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
11. If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was.
13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
to others.
14. Gravity Law: You can’t fall off the floor.
15. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the
average man can see better than he can think.
16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little-to- no influence on society.
17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where
you left them to where you can’t find them.
18. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will
not be evenly distributed

Have there been occasions when you didn’t get a picture that you really regret? We are not terribly into taking pictures. I buy an instant camera each spring and record the flower gardens and the herb garden. I take a picture of my grandson each summer when he comes to visit, measuring his growth against his grandfather. I’ve been taking pictures of Defer because this may be his last summer with us.
But there was an occasion when I needed to take an entire roll of film, and not a single picture turned out.
When our grandson was perhaps five years old, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were really popular. He adored them and owned almost all the action toys from the movies. He was coming to us for his annual visit, and DH decided to do something special for him.
I didn’t know what he had planned until he asked for my assistance. He called me into the bedroom and asked if I would help him put “the shell” on. DH had stopped at a costume shop and rented one of the TMN Turtle costumes. As I recall, he was Michaelangelo.
I had been trying to get my husband to wear tights with a swashbuckler’s costume for Halloween for years! The man has fabulous legs and a nothing tush! He would look fantastic in a costume like that, but the tights were the hangup. It seems real men don’t wear tights. I thought that maybe as a joke I’d get him into them after “Robin Hood, Men in Tights” came out, but it was no deal.
But, for his grandson, he had slithered into the tights and a green turtleneck (what else) and now he needed help to get the rest of the costume on.
It only took a few seconds, and then I was instructed to take our grandson out to the front walk. When “the Turtle” walked up the sidewalk, he didn’t know what to think. At first he was a bit shy, and then he looked a little skeptical. You could see that he was trying to figure out what was wrong with the picture.
DH kept the conversation to a minimum, and avoided doing any backflips. I took plenty of pictures, hoping for proof that my husband had actually worn tights, and then it was finally time for our visitor to go.
I keep hoping that one day he’ll give in. I took him to the “Pirates of the Caribbean” thinking that it might get him in the mood, but no such luck. The day I finally get him to wear tights you’ll hear me all the way from Chicago….WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!