I want to appoligize to all of my friends who are feeling someone neglected lately, I am fine!! I promise!! :tounge
*warning, this is a very personal post*
I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately
no big surprise there :walk_sad
I finally heard from his lawyer, was really no more or less than I expected, I file my response tomorrow (monday) morning. :flames
several have asked me if I’m prepared for what may happen, if I’ve thought about it and if I can live with it if goddess forbid the worse may happen…what is to follow is nothing more than my feelings on the matter, if you don’t agree, that’s fine and your right, and we can even discuss that, but if you flame me or bash me, I know how to deal with the likes of you! Unless you’ve walked this road I’m on, you have no idea what I’m going through.
*more than you want to know inside*
we moved to this town almost 9 years ago, we being myself, my now ex and my oldest son, during that time frame I had 2 more children, and got a divorce…those that read the old blog (Scorpion’s Sting) will know that that did not come about until 2 years after I asked for it, and it took me leaving one day while he was at work to finally bring it about.
That was 3 years ago.
3 years and 2 weeks ago today, he took my kids, in the middle of the night, when he had come down to see them. (we were at my moms)
due to paperwork not being filed by my lawyer like it should have been, I had no recourse to get them back, unless I did the same, and no way would he leave me alone with them for any length of time to do that! (hell yes, I would have done it to!!)
weeks pass with me driving back and forth to see the boys, waiting for the court date, and basicly plotting murder and mayhem (hell, wouldn’t you?) when little dude gets very sick, and I bite the bullet and do what I have to, to be near my son when he needs me, it was during this time we came to the agreement we have today, where both of us are custodial parent, both see them on a daily basis, and pretty much share in the care and raising of them.
only one major problem with this picture…we have to live in the same town for it to work.
and I’m dying here…
as most know, I tried last year to move, didn’t work, laws had changed and things didn’t work out as I had planned them.
This year, after talking with my uncle for a few months, I decided it was time, I’m not doing myself and more importantly my kids any favors by staying here letting someone else dictate my life, and letting them think thats ok and normal. :shakehead
yes, I know I am taking a risk of losing them, and yes, I’m aware of the consequences that go with that.
I’m also aware of what will happen to me if I stay here…
regardless, since we are going back to court to determine this, it wouldn’t matter if I stayed or went if that were to happen.
do I think I’m going to lose? NO
but, am I a realist, and do I brain fuck everything to within an inch of it’s life? you betcha…there is no scenerio that you could come up with that I haven’t already thought through.
I’m strong, I can deal with this, whatever the outcome…
but don’t think for a minute I’m giving up without a fight! :angdev
Well since I know first hand, one of the individuals you are talking about and too would be me, mmmmm well, I’ve said it before and I’ll enforce it here ~ it isn’t that I don’t think you know what you are doing and it isn’t that I don’t or wouldn’t, agreed or disagreed, support your decision, I’m just worried about YOU!!!!! No matter how things turn out it is going to be a HUGE transition for you ~ on many levels a transition very much needed ~ granted ~ no matter how the chips may fall I’ll still be your friend and your best friend I just do NOT like the distance growing between us ~ that is just NOT US!!!! So to end this discussion just look at your screen closely *flash flash flash ~ twiked your boob ~ nakkid titty hugs* yeah I still love you!!! *smile*
damn…nakkid titty hugs from that!?!?
how come I never get those in person *weg*
Good luck, hun. *hugs*
ok ok so I am one of the others that have asked the hard questions, but girlie, I did it not to question your motives or make you feel less sure of yourself, I too am just scared for you, worried for you. I care for you greatly, I don’t want to see you in any pain and granted I know you are in it now as well. No matter what though, I will stand beside you and support your choice, though I may ask you question from time to time, it doesn’t mean you have any less of my support. Girlie there is nothing I would not do for you. Now I am not giving you naked tittie hugs like Jamie… *shakes head* but hell I’ll flash ya *grin*
I don’t know much about what’s going on in your life, and about your friends and all… but your blog is open to the rest of us, and I think the best we (that is, readers out there) can do is to wish a LOT of luck…
I’ve been moving most of my life, and my parents are divorced since I was 6. One of them lives in a different country. It’s hard, but this is how I see my life now and I don’t think I can even imagine my parents together… That is just so.. wrong… I guess what I am trying to say is that whatever you do, you will grow further and go on with life… kids do grow up as well, they will be fine.
All I can do at this point is just to send a warm virtual hug and say, again, goodluck with whatever you do. I know you’d win no matter how hard it would be… I just wish I could do anything more.
Ditto, really…I feel that this is going to be a hard, but amazing time for you…
much good vibes your way…
wow.
best of luck.