It seems that I am on the mend. I have a very low tolerance for being ill, so I wish things would hurry up and sort themselves out.
My stomach problem must have been a response to something I ate, because it was over with in less than 24 hours. But, I was also dealing with an eye infection, and that has lingered. My-Sister-The-Nurse was also feeling poorly, so we flipped a coin to see who would house Frankie on Friday night, and I WON!!!
We went out to breakfast Saturday morning. She was on her way to visit with Elegante Mother, and I needed to make a bank and Post Office run. I had a lovely time chatting with Frankie. I moaned about the need to put away Christmas things and the ever present need to clean my basement, and she told me about an exercise she does with the students at her school.
She asks the kids to take a minute to envision their lives 20 years from now. And then asks what their lives might be like just five years from now. Then, she asks what their lives might be like 6 months from now. She talks them through the possibilities, and then asks what’s keeping them from achieving those possibilities. Her students are kids at risk of loosing the opportunity to complete their public school education, so some of the answers could be lack of family support, making poor choices in friends, doing drugs, having to work to support themselves, or not getting enough rest or study time. The final step is to encourage the kids to determine how to turn things around.
Applied to my life, in ten years, I’d like to have simplified my life. I’d like to have less clutter, fewer material things to deal with, and the freedom to travel. A slimmer, trimmer me, would also be nice. Five years from now, I’d like to have a CLEAN BASEMENT. I’d like to have all the business files sorted, and culled, the holiday decorations limited and stored, the clothing in storage given to those who need it more than I do, and the floors and walls of the basement swabbed down!
In six months, It will be gardening season, and I’d like to have some of this organization completed so that I don’t have two major demands on my time at the same time.
What has been keeping me from getting the basement done? It’s not laziness. When I work, I work hard, but I am overwhelmed by all that needs to be done. I don’t like having to do this work alone, but with the exception of the business files, I’m really the one who has to decide if something stays or goes. I need to break things down into more manageable parts and chip away at the job until I can see some improvement. I also need to organize some help to remove all that needs to be thrown away.
Okay, sis…..give me some more guidance! I may be working in the basement today! *G*
So…..Frankie is home again after having visited with Elegante Mother. Dear Husband is back from Strictly Sail. I visited the PA and got some help for my eye infection, and I’m on the mend. Things are looking up, and I may even get my basement cleaned, yet!
I hope your weekend has been as good as mine!
Whining
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Please forgive me, but I need to whine a bit. I am under the weather. Dear Husband left for work yesterday and around 5:15 a.m. I realized I had to run for the bathroom. I up-chucked off and on for the next six hours or so. Wretched stuff! Both Dear Husband and I prefer to be alone when we are ill, so timing on this worked out well.
Happily, that phase has passed. I was even able to eat some applesauce and a small banana by dinner time. When in doubt, I always feel the BRAT diet is a good choice (banana, rice, applesauce, and tea). I risked all a little later, and also ate a few oyster crackers, which also stayed down. I assume that I ate something that didn’t agree with me, but it’s possible that I had a mild flu bug.
Wednesday night, before going to bed, I put a pound of dried Great Northern beans in a pot to soak. I wanted to make bean soup yesterday. Of course, I didn’t cook anything at all, and this morning I found the pot of beans still soaking. I’ve never questioned whether you can over soak beans, so I had to do a little research at Wikipedia. There, I learned that you should not over soak beans. I’ll pitch this batch out, and wait to make bean soup for a few days.
Does anyone have any suggestions for simple food that is good for this stage of recuperation? I remember that Elegante Mother always gave us grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, with ginger ale or seven up. My-Sister-The-Nurse tells me that tomato soup is really not a good choice. Chicken broth would be better.
I need to find light duty for today. I could start gathering information for taxes. I might play with fabrics or work on two small quilts I need to finish. Having the cat sit on my lap and snooze with me sounds really good, but sitting all day, without moving around regularly, is hard on the joints, so maybe I need to wean myself off the snoozing.
The worst of all this is that I will miss a visit from Frankie. My sister is driving up from Indiana to have a quick visit with Elegante Mother, and she had planned to stay here tonight. We’ve changed our plans just to make sure that I don’t have anything contagious. Frankie will be staying with My-Sister-The-Nurse tonight, and I’ll have to wait until March to see her. Darn!
Thank you, if you made it this far, for letting me whine. I’m sure I’ll feel better soon. I have a limited tolerance for whining, so this must be a sign that I’m on the mend.
I hope you all have a good day!
Birthday Brunch
My exercise class goes out to breakfast once a month to celebrate all the birthdays that have taken place during the month. Normally we go on a Wednesday, but for some reason, the January birthdays thought they would be a little different, and they decided that we would go out on Monday.
So, tomorrow, I plan to drive across town to pick up the lady who normally stands next to me in class, and drive her to class and the brunch. It will be nice to have the chance to catch up with her. She’s been dealing with an eye problem related to diabetes, and hasn’t been able to drive since Christmas.
I need to pick up groceries in the afternoon, and spend a little time in the kitchen.
Tuesday, I’ll grocery shop for Elegante Mother, and spend several hours visiting with her and her caregiver. It’s also time to pay her bills.
Hmmmmm…EIther I wrote this to a friend, or I must have posted this all ready. I’m just babbling on, forgive me.
I hope you all have a great week. Spring is just six weeks away, right??? *G*
Hey, Bogie!
Bogie wrote:
“We have friends that are going thru this very thing. They have to prepay anything that their mother might use (such as the funeral / burial plot and storage units – she has a lot of stuff that she refuses to get rid of). Also WS’s family went thru this several years ago (gosh, has it really been like 10 years ago?) Medicare won’t kick in until everthing that EM has has been spent, so there will be nothing left for funerals and what not if they aren’t pre-paid. It’s not a pleasant thought, trying to get everything taken care of beforehand, but it is neccessary in order to spare everyone later down the road. ”
Bogie took a moment to respond to my comments about the need to step up to the plate and take care of things for my mother, and I wanted to share my answer to her.
Bogie, for the past year it’s been really tough. I’ve worried that I was missing things that needed to be done, or that I was handling things incorrectly. Most of us don’t know the legal issues involved in taking over responsibility for our parent’s assets.
I have to tell you that I feel incredibly better having talked to the lawyer. The CPA has also given me pertinent information. I think that once I have followed through on the information, I will be able to set my worries aside, and just enjoy the time I have with Elegante Mother.
And shouldn’t that be the way it is? I want to stop worrying, and just enjoy the time we have left.
Comfort Food
At the moment that translates to a bowl of Cheerios, but I’ve had a jones for cookies lately. I made a double batch of chocolate chip cookies. The bag said that would make about 10 dozen cookies. HAH!! It actually made about 45. They must be making cookies that are about the size of a quarter. We went through those in about three days, so I made one of Dear Husband’s favorites: Spicy Nut Cookies. The need for sugar has abated just a bit, but it’s still there, rather like a volcano waiting to blow.
January and February seem to be the months when comfort food seems so necessary. I applaud those of you who continue to eat healthy meals through the winter. Dear Husband and I tend to search out the comfort during the worst of winter, despite the fact that we like veggies and salads. DH asked me to make a casserole with chicken, veggies and cream of chicken soup. When DH is craving comfort food, it always translates into something with gravy or cream sauce. He also asked me to make Tuna Noodle Casserole this week. Our calorie consumption is off the chart between those two meals and the cookies!
I have a plan, though. I’m going to let this ride through January, and then in February, we will be eating lighter, smaller meals, and getting some exercise after dinner. There are plenty of chores that we need to attend to, and I think that extra exercise will make a big difference. So….it’s couch potatoes for the next week, and then we rejoin the healthy world.
What is your comfort food? Baked goods? Candy or desserts? Old fashioned casseroles? Something salty? Frankie…..remember grilled peanut butter and piccalilli sandwiches???? *G*
N. B. 1-22-2010 I should have said that the chicken casserole with cream of chicken soup was definitely NOT fine dining. I’d really rather create something from scratch, but we were really short on time that day, so it was a crockpot meal.
Elegante Mother
Most of you who have come to read know that Elegante Mother is developing dementia. I’m at the point where I have to begin a series of tasks that I’d like to stave off.
Tuesday, My-Sister-The-Nurse, our brother, and I will be visiting the lawyer to discuss the subject of elder law in relation to Elegante Mother. Should EM outlive her liquid assets, we have to know what steps are necessary to ask Medicaid to take over her care. EM is presently living in a senior retirement village with 24/7 care.
Unfortunately, I think it’s also time to speak with funeral home personnel to determine what we need to do to set up funeral plans. We have been advised by a number of people that we have to have these plans and funding in place before we speak to Medicaid.
EM’s demise is not imminent. I think she may be with us for some time to come, and that’s why I have encouraged my siblings to gather the information we will likely need. I think we need to give her assets and her care the same diligence we would give our own.
It’s very difficult to be thinking about these subjects in relationship to my mother. It’s very difficult to be pragmatic when in my mind I’m thinking, “I can see you in there, come out and play!” I see the flash of intelligence, the quirk of humor, the raised eyebrow that was so EM, every now and then, but soon, even those brief glimpses will go. And it’s best that we be prepared.
Coasting
I’m just coasting through the work that needs to be done in January to make us ready for tax period. I am responsible for Elegante Mother’s finances, and we will be doing W2s for household help (read: caregivers) for the first time. I’ve had to apply for an EIN and we will be doing quarterly reports. It keeps me busy.
I spent several hours on Saturday printing out letters to catalogs and charities, instructing them to remove EM from their mailing lists. I’ve sent about 35 of those letters now. Sunday, I entered debit card purchases, and deposits to the Quicken program for EM, and then printed out two reports to get an idea of what was spent, and how we spent it in 2009. I’m sure that I didn’t understand just how much work there would be when I agreed to take on the power of attorney for her.
Tomorrow, the CPA will visit, and we will work on all the documents that need to be sent before the end of the month. I’ve already organized banking and investment information, and I have most of the other data needed for both our personal taxes, and EMs. It’s a relief to know that I’m ahead of the game.
I plan to visit Elegante Mother on Wednesday, taking groceries. I’ll suggest that the caregiver take a little time to herself while I visit with EM. I don’t envy the caregiver her job; it’s difficult at best.
Thursday……I can hardly wait! I plan to get reacquainted with my sewing machine and finish the seams in two small projects that have been on the design board for months! YES! I love finishing up projects.
The spate of cold weather is breaking. We are expecting warmer weather (above freezing) toward the end of the week. I’ll be happy to have the chance to break up the ice on the front sidewalk before the next storms find their way in.
Happy New Year to you all!
Last Quilt of 2009
My sister, Frankie, has been working on her first quilt in about fifteen years. She called me one day in late June or early July, to say that she was standing in the middle of a fabric sale, and could I help her figure out how much she needed to buy!?
She decided to do one of Eleanor Burns’ “Quilt in a Day” quilts. This one is the log cabin block. She’s made 24 blocks in shades of turquoise and tan/brown. She wanted to create the idea of sand and waves.
The lovely part of all this is that we have shared the work on the top. Over three visits, I did the sewing, and she pressed the blocks and handed me the next strip to be added. I think if we had had one long day without any obligations, we might have gotten it done, but both our lives are so busy that we had to take a little time here, and a little time there. Frankie gets to assemble the blocks into the top, and add borders. She will also be making a variable binding from the strips that were left over ( you know…..”Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without). We both love saving money and being frugal with what we have.
I’ve really enjoyed this time with my sister. I wish I could have this same experience with all the ladies in my family. Elegante Mother appliqued several things that I quilted, but she is the only other member of the family with whom I’ve collaborated.
I have pictures of the blocks, laid out on the floor in the pattern Frankie liked for her quilt. I need to download them and send them off to her. With a little bit of prompting, perhaps I can get her to post them for you at her blog. And when I get pictures taken of MY last quilt for the year, I’ll post them, too.
Catching Up
I didn’t realize how long it has been since I last posted. My host’s domain was down for a little virus hunt for the past three weeks. I realized we were up and running once more when I began to get spam posts from commenters. It used to be that we had short comments about sex or drugs. Now, I get long paragraphs that don’t make sense. Apparently they’re using their own drugs…
December was busy, just as it must have been for all of you. Dear Husband and I shared the gift shopping, and I did most of the wrapping. I didn’t need to buy any paper, tape, gift labels or decorations. It was a pleasure to use what I had on hand to make really pretty boxes. One large box in particular, for DH, turned out well. I used burgundy paper with a gold tinted wired-edge ribbon. Our daughter-in-law sent the gift directly from the store. I didn’t even open the box, I just wrapped it. When DH opened it Christmas morning, this HUGE box had been used to send a metal air-tight container for the boat that is roughly eight inches tall and six inches wide. It was funny, so I didn’t mind.
Frankie and her family, plus one Danish boy friend and their dog, Sydney, came to us for Christmas. Frankie stopped to pick up Elegante Mother on her way up on Christmas Eve. They arrived in early afternoon, and we tried to stuff them with crab cakes on a bed of spinach with orange aioli, and/or mini burgers with carmelized onions and gouda cheese.
Everyone was with us through Christmas Day. The day after Christmas, the dog, my brother-in-law and my oldest niece needed to return to Indiana. Elegante Mother returned to her condo and caregiver on Sunday mid-day, and Frankie and the two kids stayed until Monday morning.
You can bet the counter was heavy with goodies. We really tried to be conservative in what we ate, but there was a LOT of temptation. I didn’t start making cookies until the week of Christmas, so there were a lot fewer choices to be made, but we tried to hit the family favorites between us. Frankie brought us a copper tub FILLED with the most incredible chocolates you have ever tasted, and DH brought specialty popcorn to add to the mix.
My oldest sister (My Sister The Nurse), her husband, her oldest son and his daughter joined us on Christmas Day. There were 12 of us to dinner. Frankie brought prime rib which she packed in salt to roast, and we did mashed potatoes, green beans, and Caesar salad. I forgot the ribbon jello, so we had it for days afterward! *G* I got rather pushy encouraging my family to HAVE SOME JELLO!!!
Frankie has been working on her first quilt top in easily fifteen years. We worked on it together on Sunday afternoon (more in the next post). The kids went into Chicago to visit Navy Pier and the Museum of Contemporary Art, among other things. We were hit by quite a snow storm the day after Christmas, so I didn’t envy them walking in Chicago. We spent the evenings watching DVDs.
It was a WONDERFUL four days. I really enjoyed having my house filled with family over the holidays. EM adjusted to the busy days, and we were glad to have the chance to celebrate with her. It seems quiet now, in comparison, but we’re taking a few days to relax before we hit January paperwork time.
We hope that you all have a healthy and prosperous 2010!!
YEA!!!!
We’re BACK!!!
I have so much to tell you, and NO TIME! Dear Husband has invited me out to a movie, so I’ll come back later to tell you about December at ChezBuffy.
I hope you all had a marvelous Christmas, and we wish you the best in this coming year!