Def-y's Categorizing: September 2003 Archives

Night Night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

I can remember hearing that when I was a child. It never occured to me that bed bugs were real. Then I read about Medieval times and I discovered that bed bugs and lice and all sorts of miserable insects were commonplace. That might have been the start of my interest in herbs. A number of different herbs, including lavender were strewn among the rushes or straw that covered the floor of a castle's common room.

Bed bugs were eliminated in the United States, but they have reappeared.

The subject I want to put before you is a difficult one to present without sounding whiney, and that's not my intent. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you have probably figured out that I have married a man who has four children, but we have not had any children together. I met my step-children when they were between the ages of 12 and 19, and I had very little impact on their lives other than to teach them not to make social calls to us after 9:00 at night, and not to snicker when croutons are served with a salad.

That's not what I want to write about, though.

Have you been divorced? Do you have a child who is divorced? Were your parents divorced? Do you have a relative who has been divorced??

Okay.....do you have family photographs with the ex-spouse? The question of the day is, do you leave them in the picture or have them air-brushed out? Or perhaps you feel more strongly and have CUT them out of the picture!

Somewhere I have photographs of my first wedding. I suppose I even have some pictures with my former husband and some of my family members. They are not in an album, so I've just tucked them away. It never occured to me to have him air brushed out of those pictures. After all, he's part of my history. I don't dwell on him, but I don't deny his existance, either.

I haven't talked a lot about my grandson, but I'm not shy about saying that I'm a Gramma. My reason for limiting what I tell about him comes down to safety. I don't want my babbling to create an unsafe situation. I will proudly tell you that he is a handsome young man, with good manners, and empathy for those around him.

It seems that now I'll have TWO grandchildren to brag on. My step-daughter and her husband joined us for dinner this evening, and shared the news. She'll be having her baby in late May or early June. Honest, I haven't nagged about this, but it will be fun to have a baby in the family. *G*

I've got to go plan a baby quilt!

Everyone has been talking about numbers lately. It seems contageous.

Out of curiosity, I went to Site Meter to see how many visitors I've had, and in four more visits I will hit 3000. Of course, this includes my own visits. When I get to shift from AOL to a dsl line, I will take myself out of the picture, but until then, my ever changing ISP number makes it a pain to edit my visits out.

I'm not sure of my exact start date with Site Meter, but I think we cranked it up about this time in June, so I figure it has been just about three months.

Bogie, I'm sure by now you have rolled over the 5,000 mark. Congrats, hon!

October is coming, and October is synonymous with the Texas State Fair. I was visiting Speedbump and Jamie two years ago in October, and they offered to take me to the Fair. I really should have taken them up on it. It turns out that the Texas State Fair lasts an entire MONTH! Texans have always done things in big ways.

Here in Illinois a fair may last from Tuesday or Wednesday to the following Sunday. I think the State Fair may run ten days or so. But I don't think we have ever considered letting it run an entire month.

Perhaps the Texas State Fair runs so long because it takes so long to get to Dallas from every corner of the state.

Tex and Jamie....if you go, take pictures of the quilts for me, and wave at BIG TEX!

I've just come home from the dentist. One of my teeth needed a crown, and today she made the impressions so the lab could make the crown.

I want to know why dentists ask you questions when they have their fingers in your mouth? Here I am trying to sit still so the "blue goo" can harden, and she asks me, "Are those new socks?" I'm good at charades, but I just grunted at her, and let her decide for herself what the answer was. I know she was trying to divert my attention, but she needs to come up with a better list of questions.

I'm sure that billy and bogie could come up with suggestions!

This is another post QT has shared with me. Author, if you'd like to step forward, I'd be happy to give you all the credit! Comments in Parenthesies are mine.

As I've Matured

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk
them and hope they panic and give in. (My apologies to those who have been stalked.)

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. (Boy, is THIS true!)

Saturday night we attended a wedding reception. DH's nephew was married in Las Vegas, and a reception was held for them when they returned.

I've never seen a DJ get up and put on a performance at a reception. These two college age kids switched into sleeveless black "muscle" shirts, zipped across the dance floor and hopped onto the amplifiers. I gather that the music that was playing was "Greased Lightning." They turned their backs to the party and wagged their butts, and then turned again to do what was clearly a dance that the younger members of the audience recognized.

Several of the young women rushed to the edge of the dance floor and mirrored the dance they were watching. Then at some point they all raced off to get one-dollar bills, and the more brazen ones stuffed them into the guy's pockets.

The guys ignored them and kept right on dancing.

Is this what we can expect at wedding receptions now?? Sure seems like an odd way to celebrate a wedding. This was like a cleaned up version of a stripper at a bachelor party.

I know.....I'm an old fogie.

I missed the Emmys. I don't mind that. I mind that I didn't even realize they were going to be on, and I mind that I missed the fashion review that preceeds the awards.

I miss the range of attire from tacky to sublime. I guess the dresses for the Oscars are even better, or perhaps wilder, but the Emmy nominees are like Avis, they try harder. And I missed it.

I was reading the list of winners. I'm delighted that Tony Shaloub won for comedy actor, for "Monk." And Debra Messing (gawd, she's a beautiful woman!), for "Will and Grace." I recognize a lot of the winners names, but not necessarily the shows. I've never seen "Everybody Loves Raymond." I'm not surprised Doris Roberts won, since her work is always good. She's one of those actors who has a work ethic that goes the distance. The same could be said of Tyne Daley, who won for Supporting Actress in a drama, "Judging Amy."

But the point of all this is that we see very little TV any longer. "Monk" is a favorite show that we watch for. Otherwise, we have no idea what's going on with comedies or dramas. The History Channel, Discover, The Learning Channel, Biography....those are what hold our interest.

So....I guess we qualify as old fogies. The nice thing about that is that it doesn't bother me. I can entertain myself endlessly, with great variety, even if I don't know who is in "Everybody Loves Raymond."

I was reading Dear Abby today, and a young woman wrote in to say that she was in love, and she and her boyfriend were thinking about marrying, but there was one little problem. Her fiance claimed to be from another planet. This HAD to be a made up letter. What woman in her right mind would continue a relationship with someone who claimed to be an alien??

She treated it as a joke until he began announcing his heritage to her family and friends. Even then, she was still considering marrying him! She said "I know he was born in Chicago." (As if that makes him normal in any way...)

If this is what their relationship was like at the start, think of where it's going to go. She'll be forced to accept every little change that comes along. He'll say that it's a requirement on his planet. This is just another guy who wants to have his own way, and has found a novel way to get it.

I'd put up with a lot of quirks, but I think I'd pass on this one. Now, I'll find out that Fred is an alien...and all along I've been making excuses for him. It would explain his fixation with the Marx Brothers. *G*

We tend to think of thirteen as an unlucky number. We lump it with black cats and walking under ladders and stuff of superstitions. But I think thirteen just might be a lucky number, at least from my point of view today.

Fred, my Dear Husband, and I have been married thirteen years today. We have been companions for twenty years, but we said our vows just thirteen years ago.

If you ask me, it doesn't seem possible we have been together 20 years, let alone 13. They say time flies when you are having a good time.

Fred and I compliment each other. No.....we don't sit around telling each other how good we are. Silly! The parts of me that are missing, HE has.....and vice versa. We make the perfect Trivial Pursuit team. My family hates to play us.

I worry, he doesn't. I plan, he doesn't (except for the business). I love the cat, he doesn't. He sails, I don't. He tells AWFUL puns, I don't (for the most part.) He thinks he's immortal, I don't. He's mechanical and I'm not. We fit like old shoes.

Happy Anniversary, Fred. Stay safe, love, and don't loose your way.

I don't think I could live without Post-it notes! My office flutters in the wind, some days.

In 1968 researchers at 3M created a repositionable adhesive, but they didn't have a commercial use for it. In 1974, another researcher developed the adhesive into a product called "Press & Peel," to be used as a bookmark.
In 1979 the product is test marketed in eleven western states, and in 1980 they make "Post-it Notes" available nationally.

3M has expanded their line this year with Post-it Super Sticky Notes, which will stick to virtually any horizontal or vertical surface.

Can't you see it? DH, put away your brush. DH, take the dog out. DH, did you take the garbage out. DH, cut up the downed willow on the front lawn. DH, do the dishes. DH....our anniversary is coming....

Dawn, over at Altered Perception was stuck in traffic this week. She asked her readers for suggestions on what to do while you spend several hours stopped on the expressway. Go read "Traffic Report" Sept 15, and "Traffic Ideas," Sept. 16.

Dawn, I've seen women putting on makeup and doing manicures, guys reading magazines, books and newspapers,and watching TV. I'd do crossword puzzles or plan my menus for the week. Or, you could plan your next trip.

I know there are isometrics you could do, in addition to the Kegel exercises. I suspect that bicep curls could get you into trouble, expecially if the guy next to you takes it wrong. I hope it will be a long time before the next gridlock, hon.

Your rant on "Budgets," Sept. 17 was VERY enlightening!

Allison, at Ain't That a Kick in the Head, has been reminiscing about school days, and writing about a trip through Oklahoma. Go visit for a nostalgic view of a time most of us remember with great pleasure.

PJ over at BrambleRambles hasn't posted this week, but if you haven't been to his blog, do go. He has absolutely WONDERFUL pictures in several photo journals at the bottom right of his blog. I think most, if not all, of the pictures have been taken while he's rambled with his boys. I learned a LOT about cotton from him. Go visit.

Jim, of Parkway Rest Stop fame, has posted about peanut butter. A little history, a little rhapsodizing, a schmeer here and there, and you can't stop reading. I may not agree with his opinion of Jimmy Carter, but I can't fault him for his taste in peanut butter.

Visit StupidAngryCanajun and see what Essay has written this week. In particular, read "Bullies and Bloggies" on Sept. 16. Scroll down to the comments about Dave's Drivil and click on the link for some GREAT comments heard at the proctologist's.

I was entertained by her description of a day at the office with Jimbolina, under "Brownout" on Sept. 17th It makes me glad I work alone....VERY glad!

Bogie, it seems that traffic isn't any better in Ehduhmonton than it is in New Hampshire. You might enjoy comiserating with her, if you haven't already.

Be sure to update your links, StupidAngryCanajun has moved to Typepad recently.

There's a whole lot of you I still need to visit. Be patient. There's at least one more entry in the "Going Visiting" series. I'm hoping for time to surf and find new blogs to share, too. Until then......enjoy the Fall weather, stay healthy and play nice.

I haven’t had the chance to sit down this week and read all the blogs I’m linked to, let alone the hundred others I’d like to visit, but I’ve seen a few, and want to share some of what I’ve seen. Billy and Sgt. Hook are so very good at this, I want to follow in their footsteps.

BTW….Sgt. Hook is out in the field, doing what every good sarge should do. He should return September 19th or so. If you haven’t read his blog, go visit for some great writing!

Ed is really ticked at me. (Ed is the cat……Edward Scissorhands, formally.) I’ve known for about two weeks that we had to go see the vet. Ed is an indoor/outdoor cat. He eats ground squirrels and chases birds, and he develops worms. YUCK!

He follows the same pattern every time. He gets surly, looses his appetite, upchucks all over the place, and then gets really picky about what he will eat. I made the appointment on Monday, and took him in at 5:00 tonight. We went through all that just to put two pills down his throat.

My stepson is really good with Ed. I can count on him to help me if it’s necessary to care for the cat, but we have both thrown our hands up in the air and said “I give” when it comes to pilling the cat. I’d rather pay the VET to pill him. Ed figured out what was going on when I went into my mother’s bedroom and gently scooped him up tonight. He was struggling as we got near the cat carrier, and had all four feet splayed out. He managed to hook a claw in my t-shirt…and leave a hole. I think I’ll save this t-shirt for future trips to the vet.

So, now we let him grouse around the house, and make dashing forays to the basement, and tomorrow we will have a brand new, happy cat.

Thank god for pharmaceuticals!

The last few days have been unusually busy, and I'm finding it difficult to squeeze everything in. The crash of our hard drive put me back in office work, and created a bit more to do, so I'm trying to play catch-up and still take care of the daily flow of work. Exercise has resumed, and yesterday I visited a friend in the hospital. I've taken the car for it's emission testing, and swapped a waiver for a check for the company. I've grocery shopped twice this week, and taken the cat to the vet, and all this is on top of the normal laundry, cleaning, watering and dishes and office work. I'm dying to get back to my quilting frame and my sewing table, and it looks like it might have to wait until Monday.

Our house is 14 years old. In the scheme of things, that's not very old. But.....when your house reaches ten years, things need to be repaired and replaced. I have a list of things that need to be done and a husband who is NOT interested in doing them. That wouldn't be a problem if he was satisfied with the work that others have been hired to do.

I've talked about Defer, our senior-citizen Beagle/Shepherd. I have two disposable cameras floating around with a little bit of film I want to use up. I thought it might be a great idea to get some pictures of Defer. I was going to take a picture of him lying on the floor with his ears standing straight up, but as soon as I pointed the camera at him, he got up and left the room.

The same thing happened today. I was going to take a picture of him walking up the front sidewalk toward me, but as soon as I lifted the camera, he whirled around and headed away.

We've finally figured it out. He's afraid of the flash. Lightening scares him. So do storms. He equates the flash on the camera with storms.

Poor baby. It's hell to get old.

Have you ever looked back over the past and realized how much has changed in your lifetime? When Dear Husband and I traveled, we used to have a conversation about how the world would change in our lifetime. My grandfather was born in the time when travel was by horse and buggy. He died shortly after the U.S. put men into space, and travel by air was commonplace. Television existed by the time I was born, and we've lived to see the boom in Internet communication. We think that miniaturization will be one of the major accomplishments of our generation, as in nanotechnology.

Why do Mothers-in Law have such a bad reputation? Just this week I've heard several jokes on the subject, and it's been discussed on the radio. Is there really something that happens to your mother once you marry, or is this just a convenient subject for comedians?

I have no doubt that there are mothers who pester about grand children, and it's probable there are mothers who want the best for their children, and don't have the sense to mind their own business. But I find it difficult to believe that it's universal.

Johnny Cash lives on in the hearts and minds of his fans, now. I'm of an age where the icons in my life are slipping away, and this is one icon I hate to see go.

I'm not much of a country music fan. My family didn't listen to country music when I was a kid, but you couldn't miss Johnny Cash in those days. He was a STAR, and you watched whether you were a fan of country music or not. He lived large and entertained well, and he became part of the fabric of our lives.

There was always the hint of danger, a bit of roughness, or a little of the unexpected about him, but he had the ablilty to be gentle, too. I liked the stability that came into his life with his love for June Carter, and I liked the fire he brought to her. They were married to others when they met, and went through hard times before they could be together. June Carter Cash wrote "Ring of Fire" for Johnny, about that time in their lives.

I liked the black he wore, and I liked the long coats. I loved the interaction on stage between Johnny and other performers, and I loved his sense of humor. Most of all I loved that I could sing along, or just sit and listen. I liked his music either way.

Both Johnny and June had been ill for the past few years. A life on the road as an entertainer is a hard one; it took a lot out of them. June died in May, and I'm not surprised that Johnny has followed her so soon. I expect that there's beautiful music in heaven today.

Farewell, J.R. Cash, and thanks for all the good times!

I know it's not official, but today as I was out driving I realized that the soybeans have begun to turn yellow. The fields are no longer masses of knee-high deep green plants. Now they are mottled with several shades of yellow and green.

And the goldenrod is in bloom.

So.....Fall is here. Can Indian Summer be far behind?

Do you have a Windows Keyboard? Perhaps, like me, you don't know how some of the keys work. I came across a list of functions that can be performed with the keyboard rather than the mouse, and thought I'd share the list with you.

I moderate a YahooGroup for herb growers. Many of the members have interesting signature lines. One of them was: "The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep."

One of the other members asked if it was a line from a poem, and she said that it was an excerpt from a Buddhist "poem." She thought it went this way:

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth through the doorsill where two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

I won't pretend to understand the meaning, but I love the first two lines, so I thought I'd share it with you. I hope you have a lovely day, and that you got to see the sun rise.

I think it was my youngest sister who sent me a page of prayers several years ago. The one which stayed with me was:

God, give me patience, and I mean right NOW!

Today I was marveling at how diverse the women in my family are.

Sister #1 raised five children, drove a school bus, and then became a darned fine nurse. She specialized in geriatrics and came to be very knowledgeable about wound management. Now that she has retired, she has a business making clothing for craft fairs.

Sister #2 became a jeweler, and had her own store. Then she became the Director of Christian Education for a large church.

I'm the third, and I spent what feels like a huge part of my life in school and then teaching for 11 years. Now, I'm the office for my husband's company, and I care for our mother.

Sister #4 had a career in the Navy and then resigned to raise her family. She went back for additional classes and now teaches English to kids at risk, and may soon become a principal.

I was thinking how diverse we are, how wide spread our interests are, when I realized that each of us chose to work at some point in our lives in a service field. Teaching, nursing, Christian education, the ties that bind us are closer than I realized. Each of us have chosen a field that has an impact on the quality of life around us. I doubt you would be surprised to find that there is a good deal of volunteerism in our lives, too.

So.... maybe we are not as diverse as I thought. Sister #1 driving in stock car races, and winning, was different. And #4 has been involved with historical reinactments for the 1750 era. Things like that bring a zest to life, but they don't change the underlying concern for people.

The next generation has engineers, biologists, managers, international buyers, and business owners. The opportunities have changed for these young women, and they have branched out. In their generation we have the best of both worlds, diversity combined with interest in family.

The best thing about all this is that there is nothing keeping the four of us from trying new things all the time. We may join the next generation in diversity, yet!

Last Friday I hosted my quilting bee. For years, like clockwork, these ladies have come to my home once a month to sit and quilt and share quilting news. Occasionally we work on each other's projects, but usually we work on our own quilts as we sit and chat.

This should have been like any other of a hundred visits, but it was special. Very special. We were rejoicing that one of our members had lived through a heart attack less than two weeks earlier. She was with us, talking about her experience. She was clear on how serious it had been, but her natural good humor was underlying everything she said, and she was GLAD to be among us.

We are not young women, but neither do we consider ourselves to be old. Don't let the fact that we quilt make you think we are little old gray haired ladies. And that's the rub. We all thought we were too young to have to worry about heart attacks.

Now, we feel mortal. We look at our friends and family differently, because we know that we could loose them, or we could die without warning. It makes you reconsider what's important. I've just spent hours getting ready for a bridal shower. Perhaps, instead, I should have been spending time with my family.

Today I made sure to talk to each person. Each one got a hug, and plans were made to get together again, soon. My goal is to get past the trivial conversations, and get to know them better.

Since I don't know when my time will be up, the only option I have is to make the best use I can of the time I have left. What does that mean for you? How would you best use your time? It's something I need to ponder.

Well......I re-programed our business computer. With about an hour's help from Dell, and a couple of hours of guidance from Stepson Number 3, I got almost all of it back on and running. Most of it agrees to work as it did before, but I need to do a little tweaking.

T told me that the wonderful little calendar in the bottom right corner of my screen that just appeared one day was a a gift from "Gator," and that I didn't want to let them anywhere near my computer again. We also managed to loose "Gain" in the process, and I'm happy to have kicked them out. We're going to add a spywear program this coming week.

Now I'm trying different pop up killers. I'm being inundated with ads from companies who want to SELL me a pop up killer.......like I'd buy anything from them after they've driven me crazy! Huh!

So, the experience was not as difficult as I thought it would be. I still need guidance in setting up drivers, but the rest of the reprogramming was pretty easy. Perhaps some of my friends have rubbed off on me over the past four years!

I'm a confirmed believer in back ups, though. I managed to save all but one program, and it was time to update that information anyway. Regular backups can save you, yeah they can. Memorize this....and live by it: Save Early And Often!

Sit still. Listen. What do you hear around you?

I can hear the dog snoring, a car reving it's engine, my processor humming, and occasionally, the sound of the cool air being forced through the ducts.

Silence is on my mind because until 30 minutes ago my house was full with 15 women, 8 men and 7 children. The children played and ran from adult to adult seeking attention. People gathered in twos and threes and fours to chat and bring themselves up to date on what was going on in the family. Newer members of the family were worked into the fabric of our existence. Bodies swirled through the rooms of my house as though eddies of a stream were moving them along and depositing them where they could start a new conversation.

Today was the bridal shower for my brother's daughter. My oldest sister took over the organization. She arranged for the thank you cards, the guest mementos, most of the food, the plates and napkins, the memory book, and the invitations. I prepared my home for the party and did a little cooking. I have a minor amount of cleaning up to do, and a LOT of satisfaction at having hosted a lovely party.

I started more than two weeks ago, weeding and working in the gardens for a couple of hours a day, arranging for the high glass in the house to be cleaned, and getting a start on my Fall cleaning. I shopped with Sister Number 1 for shower things. We rarely have the chance to get together, so we had lunch, and then chose little gifts for our guests. Perhaps that quiet time with her was one of the best gifts to come from this shower. I tried to fit the preparation in around the things that normally fill my life, plus a few surprises.

This past week I haven't had the chance to blog. I missed keeping up with what has been happening in your lives, and I'm eager to read what you've all had to say. I had a lovely note from billy.....just checking in....making sure everything was all right. It was lovely to know that I had been missed. *S*

So....I'm enjoying the quiet, listening to the lack of furor now that everyone has gone their way. I'm delighted that I was asked to be involved. I'm glad that everyone had a good time, and I'm glad that I can put my feet up and rest a while before we do this again.

This kind of silence is wonderful. May you all have the chance to experience it!