September 2009 Archives

Yesterday was our nineteenth anniversary! I am embarrassed to admit it, but I almost forgot. Had we not received an absolutely gorgeous card from my sister, Frankie, it might have slipped by unnoticed. I would have remembered in a week or so.

Our business has been on my mind. The economy has really hurt us. There are companies, large and small, falling around us, throwing in the towel because there just is not enough work to sustain them. We have pared down. We are cutting expenses to the bone, and we respond to every request we receive for a bid.

I was invited to lunch TWICE last week. I virtually never go out to lunch, but I had invitations on both Thursday and Friday. Thursday, I met with our CPA. She's a dear friend, who I don't see as often as I would like, so these occasional lunches are our time to catch up. She is a great networker, and we talked about networking over our meal. It turned out that she had a lunch date set up with the woman who is our lawyer. She is also heavily into networking.

I thought about them as I started my day on Friday, and at the end of exercise class, I mentioned our company, and asked if they would keep their ears open for anyone needing masonry work. Two women called me later that day with requests for information!

Lunch on Friday was with a group of women from the Empty Nesters at Elegante Mother's church. We visited the Emerson Creek Pottery and had a fabulous meal. I asked if they would consider letting me post a note about the company through their e-mail.

I have a quilting bee that meets once a month. One of the woman called this week to arrange for DH to look over some work that needed to be done at their house.

I e-mailed the queen of our Red Hat Chapter and she gave me several contacts to pursue. She had been involved in real estate, and recommended several associations which might give me more ways to network.

And, I talked with our lawyer, and mentioned her upcoming luncheon with our CPA. I told her we were looking for work, and that I planned to put together a PR brochure in-house to send to contractors. She suggested that I provide her with several of the packets, so that she could distribute them among her contacts.

Frankly, I was astonished at the support I received from my friends. My goal was to keep our company name on people's minds, and I think this might work. I didn't realize that I had so many contacts

So, you can see that I had a lot on my mind this week. I have an entire year to get ready for our twentieth anniversary, so I think I'll try to plan something special.

I want to know who is responsible for the absolutely stupid idea that making our children feel good about themselves is more important than encouraging them to do the absolute best that they can do in school!?

When last I checked, life in general doesn't care how you feel about yourself. We're spending a lot of time worrying how the kids feel, and are ignoring basic education. These kids are going to be so sheltered that when they get out into "real life" they won't have a clue how to deal with it.

I've been very concerned for the last 25 years or so that we do not teach children that it is their responsibility to learn, and that we expect them to learn to the very best of their ability. The last year I taught, the students were told that to attend the party at the end of the year they had to have at least a C- average. Personally, I would have phrased the rule to read: The party will be open to those students who have earned As, Bs and/or Cs on their report card. Sorry...I got sidetracked there.

At the final teacher's meeting of the year, the principal announced that he wanted to let ALL the students attend the party. He felt the they should all have a good image of themselves, and be allowed to participate. There was dead silence in the room. I knew that I was not going to be returning the following year. I strongly suspected that I would not ever teach again, so I probably wasn't going to need a reference from this jerk, so I raised my hand.

I said that it was inappropriate to change the rules at the end of the year. Those students who had tried really hard and made straight Cs would see that those who had not made any effort at all were going to be rewarded. What type of incentive is that!? I argued that if they wanted to change the policy, they could change it for the coming year, but it was inappropriate to do it at that point. I can't recall whether what I said carried the day or not, but I still feel the principal's plan was short sighted.

Another thing I detest is promoting kids socially. If a student can not prove mastery of 70 percent of the material taught that year, the student should not be allowed to go on to the next grade. I understand the concern some people have that older students might inappropriately affect the development of the younger students. If you are really concerned about that, then you need to find a way to segregate those students who have to repeat a class. Either you put them into a restricted area where they are tutored individually or in groups, or you create one school in a district which would address the needs of those who need to repeat a class.

I know....that might tarnish their self image. Too bad! Several decades ago, a principal in a Chicago school announced to the eighth grade that those who were failing would be held back until they could prove that they had mastered 70 percent of the material that had been taught through eighth grade. The students had the last few months of the eighth grade year plus the summer to learn enough to test out of eighth grade and be allowed to go on to high school. Wonder of wonders, almost all of the students managed to accomplish that task! Those kids needed the appropriate incentive to get the job done.

Perhaps we need to set our expectations higher. Perhaps we need rules rather than guidelines. We should reward children who strive to do their best. Perhaps we need to be rewarding kids who are well behaved, who get to school on time, who do their homework, and turn in their papers. We spend so much time giving attention to kids who misbehave that we are failing those who really try. We need to find the carrot that will encourage those who are failing to WANT to be like the kids who are successful.

I think a lot of that improvement needs to start at home with parents giving their children more attention. We need to teach children that homework comes first, and then, MAYBE you can see TV, or play with whatever electronic thing is currently popular.

Heck....I'm running out of time and I haven't finished ranting! I'll have to add more later,but I have a lot to say about our young and how they are turning out. A simpler life might not be such a bad thing.

Remind me....uniforms, and fewer material possessions, and the library, and walking......

I was astonished this year to see a BLACK heron, or possibly egret. It has a favorite hunting perch on the bank of a retention pond near our home. It's about the size of the smaller white egrets that come up to us from the Gulf Coast.

I went on-line to see what I could find about them, and discovered that they are an AFRICAN species. How the heck did he get here? I wonder if he was blown off course and into hurricane winds that brought him across the Atlantic, and can't make the trip back against the prevailing winds?

It seems as though I've seen more variations in our feathered friends this year. Not only do we have small and large white egrets, but we have the great blue herons with a lot of variation in their markings. It's been a pleasure to watch the birds in the early morning as I drive through a major refuge on my way to exercise, and I love to see them in flight.

And, this year I have set up a quilt studio, with my sewing machine at an east-facing window. I had the blinds pulled open during the afternoon, and Ed, the cat was sitting on the edge of the table, watching for chipmunks. We were both surprised when a tiny hummingbird flew up and hovered just outside the window from Ed. Usually they don't stay long enough for us to get a good look. It's astonishing just how petite they are, and how fast their wings are beating.

I love all the birds that come to visit, but the herons and hummingbirds have been a real pleasure this year.

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said: "THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am!"

Thank you to the author of this piece. If you care to come forward, I'd be happy to give you credit for a witty comment on the issue of what women should weigh.

We all have a personal sense of humor. Within my family there are a variety of types of humor. Some of us love slapstick humor. Others love puns. Some love Adam Sandler, others can't bear him, and some say it depends on the movie.

At any rate, the silliest thing made me laugh today. My old cat, Edward Scissorhands went out this morning. As he's aged, his visits outside have become shorter and shorter, but he's not willing to give them up totally until it gets COLD outside.

Ed went out the front door and made half a circuit around the house, ending up on the windowsill at the west end of the "Green" room, where we eat casual meals. Frankly,it astonishes me to find him there, because it's quite a jump for any cat. I opened the back door, and called to him, and he paused to think about whether he wanted to make the jump down or not. I waited for a bit, before stepping out onto the stoop. Mind you, I was in an over-sized T-shirt nightie. (The grove has been allowed to grow dense and close to the back of the house, along with a stand of tall grass and weeds. No one was going to see me.) I reached for the cat and he backed away. I conned him, and was able to pull him up into my arms and step back into the house.

An hour later, I got up from the computer and felt the chair grabbing my nightie. I looked and realized there were dozens of little tiny burrs stuck to the chair. And then, I realized there were branches of this plant stuck to the hem of my nightie.

The burrs made me laugh. (What else are ya gonna do?) That I had been sitting on them, unaware, made me laugh. That I had collected half a plant with one brush of my shirt while I reached for the cat made me laugh.

It's the simple things that get me to laugh these days. It seems that the goofiness of human foibles is what I find the funniest. I can't recall when I last belly-laughed, or laughed until I cried, but there have been plenty of times when something my family has done has made me laugh.

I wonder if our sense of humor changes over time?

I'll be going now. I have to pull burrs off my nightie. *G*

My sister and her husband and their dog arrived last night. My brother-in-law is spending the weekend on the boat with Dear Husband. The three of them rose early, so that the guys could get down to the lake early, and Frankie could be on her way to Elegante Mother. We made appointments for Frankie and EM to have their nails done this morning, and then the two of them came to visit.

My mother can not remember living in this house. She asked me how I got a job here. I told her I married the boss. She wanted to know if I thought there might be anything she could do, so that she could work here too. As you can see, she was having a really difficult day. The change of scenery confused her. Despite the fact that she really liked visiting, she couldn't quite understand just what "this place" was.

I invited Frankie to bring EM here so that Frankie would have a chance to get some work done to prepare for the classes she will be teaching on Tuesday. I fixed little crustless tuna salad sandwiches, and offered fruit and potato chips. My mother's appetite was fine, and I was glad to see her eating well.

We watched the movie "Titanic." Apparently my sis is teaching a series of classes around the story of the Titanic, and the kids will have the chance to see part of the movie. EM was absorbed in the story, which surprised me. I don't know how much of it she understood.

I was casting around for a simple meal for dinner while I was at the grocery store, and came across a sale on shrimp. Normally a two-pound bag costs about $31, but they were on sale for $9.90. I decided that I would make garlic shrimp (shrimp scampi), with rice, and a salad. I made what we call Summer Salad: cucumber, tomato, green onion, vinaigrette and lots of dill. I had three chocolate cupcakes, with fudge frosting left from quilting bee dessert last night, to which I added scoops of ice cream. We were stuffed. I'm sure I won't have any trouble sleeping tonight....I'll be in a food induced coma! lol

Again, EM ate well, and seemed to really enjoyed the home cooked meal. I think we need to check on what she is being offered when we are not around. I'm sure that we are operating under the assumption that no one would feed EM as well as we do, but at the moment, I think we are right. We all know what EM likes to eat (LOBSTER! and chocolate), and we also know what she doesn't care for. She is used to freshly prepared meals, and rarely has much appetite for left overs, unless you are making lobster salad from leftover lobster tail. We may need to be keeping a closer eye on what she is getting to eat, both from the dining hall, and her caregiver.

It was really tough seeing Elegante Mother as confused as she was today. Perhaps when I see her during the week, she will be more connected because she recognizes her surroundings. I plan to join EM and Frankie at church tomorrow, and then come back to work on things for dinner when all four of us will be together again. Tortilla soup, anyone??

I'm dog-sitting tonight. In a few moments we will make the last call for the night, and then I hope that Sydney (the dog) and Ed (my cat) will choose to settle in for the night. Ed is more than a little ticked off about having a DOG visiting the house, and his schedule has been majorly disrupted. But, it's only for another day or so. I think he can adjust.

I hope you all enjoy your Labor Day weekend!

I can't believe that I have not made the time to post in the past 17 days! Where does the time go? I can recall when I was a child that August seemed to last for years. Now, it flies by.

Let's see...in the past three weeks...

Dear Husband had to have the car towed three times in one long weekend, and have it repaired three times. Apparently there was an electrical short that was missed during the first two repairs

Dear Husband had to have the boat towed. He was outside the harbor, trying to raise the sails, when a line went overboard and wrapped in the propeller. Needless to say, we will be buying towing insurance in the future. DH was in four-foot seas. The driver of the tow boat said that he comes prepared to dive to free tangles like that, but with the back of the boat rising and falling four feet, he wouldn't get into the water, and I can't say that I blame him.

I had "Mom Duty" two weekends ago. Saturday during the day went well, but Elegante Mother was ill during the night. Luckily, I was able to manage her care on my own, and two of my sisters came to our rescue in the morning. My-Sister-The-Nurse arrived at 9:00 a.m. to check on EM, and she gave me the chance to go home early and catch up on my sleep. My second sister came at noon to spell her, so EM got to see three of her four daughters all in one day. EM is fine. She saw the doctor on Monday, felt well, and had no lasting effects from her difficulties early Sunday morning. She has actually been talking a lot more, recently. She's still having trouble with short-term memory, but she's able to get her sentences out before she forgets what she wants to say.

Speaking of second sisters, mine just retired as Director of Christian Education at a big church in the suburbs. They gave her an amazing send-off, complete with luncheon and presentation. All of her siblings attended along with quite a few of the next generation. It was quite lovely, and the ladies of the church did a wonderful job sharing their love with her. She'll have wonderful memories to wrap up in.

I gardened this morning, and I'm going back for a little more punishment this afternoon. It has become popular not to cut back iris leaves in the fall, but I prefer to trim them to prevent wintering over leaves that might be infested with something that could damage the iris. I've been cleaning out dead leaves, and opening the plants up to the sun. I also plan to cut back a volunteer mulberry that I can't seem to kill off, and dead lily stalks and oriental poppy foliage. I prefer to have the gardens go into the winter looking clean.

Dear Husband has not seen much of Elegante Mother during the sailing season. He was home one Saturday when the car was in the shop, and went to lunch with us, but otherwise, she has not had the chance to visit with him. We plan to take EM and Sophie to dinner this evening, so that she can see him. I know that it will make her day. She has quite the soft spot for him.

We had a week of cool, gray, off-and-on-again rainy weather. And this week we seem to be having a week of brilliant sunshine and below normal temperatures. We opened the house Tuesday to air it out while we were cleaning, and by 6:00 I was shivering and closed it back up. It's always wonderful to let fresh air through. I'm looking forward to more days like that during September and October.

I'm sending two quilts, one large, and one small, to be machine quilted. I wanted to use up scraps and put together a quilt using four patches on point, alternating with rows of solid strips of fabric. It will be a "Use it up, Wear it out" quilt, that I will encourage the kids to wrap up in. The smaller quilt has one of my very rare uses of applique. It was a kit. It came with pre-selected fabrics and a pattern. The colors are absolutely wonderful fall colors, and I'm quite pleased with the applique. It should be back in time to set out for part of October and November. Once it's bound, I'll take a picture of it to share.

And, last of all....our exercise guru is taking a week off for some personal obligations and a class. I've been invited to lead our class three times. Yesterday went reasonably well, and I'll lead class again on Friday, and then Wednesday of next week. It keeps me working, and I'm happy to keep the class in session. I'm a sloth. Give me the least excuse and I'll curl up on the couch, so I'm glad that our guru asks me to help out.

I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day. Get outside and enjoy the incredible weather, and the long weekend.