February 2006 Archives

Dear Husband says that when our current pet dies, that's it for us and pets. Of course we have been disregarding his pronouncements. A house without pets?? Unthinkable!

Well, actually it is thinkable. We're both allergic to cats and dogs. If Dear Husband touches a pet, he has to wash his hands right away, or risk eyes that swell and water. I'm not as allergic to them as he is, but I observe the same rituals.

I realize that the no pet rule, coupled with an intense cleaning, and perhaps even confining my fabric and sewing to one room might be a wise idea in terms of our health. But, I believe that the physical contact and emotional bonding you have with a pet is just as necessary to good health.

And that is what brings me to what I really want to write about.

Yesterday, we were sitting in the great room, when Dear Husband asked, "Is that a robin?"

I swiveled around and searched the branches of the trees to the west of the house. It took me a while, but finally I saw the bird he was looking at. I waited a moment, and when the bird turned a bit, I saw the red breast. "YES!!! It's a robin!"

I watched for a bit, and realized there was another. "We have TWO.....wait....THREE.....NO!! FOUR!!!" Actually we had six or seven robins sitting up in the branches, sunning themselves on a cold February Sunday.

It's easily a month early for these birds to be returning. The ground is still frozen, and the worms are hibernating. Warmer weather is on it's way, but yesterday was quite frigid, and not the weather they are used to.

I'd like for them to stick around, but only if it means that Spring is coming early. Otherwise, maybe we should shoo them southward, so that they stay warm and healthy.

Welcome back, robins.....but only if you're sure this is the right time.

It's very odd to have a rainy day in the middle of February. We have a weather front coming in that is giving us a rainy day that will most likely lead into a week of much more common winter weather.

It's gray outside. Everything is wrapped in layers of fog, and the trees are dripping from the last shower. We've had sleet, and hail, and rain, and light showers. As the temperatures drop this evening, we'll probably see the start of a couple of days of snow.

Sitting here in the office, I just heard thunder, followed by the low, mournful sound of a train whistle. The tracks are at least a mile away, but the damp air has carried the sound to us.

It's a good day for a nap.

This morning, a man I didn't know opened a door for me.....and I was surprised!

It shows what our manners have come to that what used to be a common kindness should surprise me.

I had stopped to give the title company a waiver. Just as I left my car, it began to rain in earnest. I put up my umbrella, and closed the bag I was carrying and headed for the door. Two men were talking in the doorway, protected from the rain by an overhang. One of them opened the door for me, even though he was not passing through. I thanked him.

On the way out, his companion did the same for me. It was a simple gesture of kindness that used to be very commonplace, but today, in the gray, rainy weather, it seemed unusually nice.

When I graduated from college, women had just begun to think of themselves as "liberated." That meant that you didn't have to wait for men to open your door; you could do it yourself. Or, better yet, you could open the door for them. I felt the basic idea needed to be adjusted a bit. If there is someone behind me, I hold the door for them. It doesn't matter if the person is male or female; I hold the door. I am especially careful to help those older than I am, and mothers whose hands are full.

I can't actually remember the last time a man other than my husband held the door for me, but I bet I can guess who it was. We have a friend who is in his mid-forties, who has lovely manners. I bet the last time we went to dinner together, he held the door. I know that he helps me into his car, and closes the car door when we travel together. But, this man is the exception to the rule.

It incenses me when a younger man strides through the door, and lets it slap shut in my face. I wish I could say to them, "When do you plan to take a course in manners?" But, that would be rude. It seems we are so concerned with ourselves that we have let what used to be taken for granted slip out of existence.

Manners......I miss ye! Maybe we should all practice those random acts of kindness, and hold doors open for each other.

This has been a really tough year. I feel like the Al Capp character who went around with a dark cloud over his head all the time.

I learned this week that one of my nieces has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

I know that medical research has made stunning inroads on breast cancer in my lifetime. I know there are a number of amazing new treatments available to my niece, and that she will get the very best care. I know that she has the love and support of her family, and of friends. I know she is a strong woman, and that she will make it through this. But I'm still scared for her.

There are times when you have to plan ahead to use leftovers. Dear Husband is not a huge fan of ham. We do one a couple of times a year, and he suffers in silence. Wednesday, when my niece and her boys were coming to dinner, I thought I would do a ham, so that DH didn't have so many left overs to deal with.

Ham, scalloped potatoes, green beans, green salad and brownies. Something for everyone.

I planned two meals for the left overs.

This afternoon about an hour before the sun went down, I partially filled the bird feeder. I had forgotten to do it this morning when we returned from exercise. I knew that if I filled the feeder I would get to watch the cardinals.

For most of December we had four pairs of cardinals. I was fretting about the low number, but I knew that there were a lot of feeders throughout the neighborhood to the west of us, so I thought that the cardinals were just spread out a bit thin.

I was pleased to be able to count seven male cardinals this evening. It was interesting to see the pecking order going on. For the most part the cardinals will play nicely with other birds but insist on a pecking order within their own group.

As the light faded I could see the male cardinals flitting back and forth from their perches in the shrubs, but it was a lot more difficult to pick out the female cardinals, with their protective coloration. They blended right into the shrubbery, as they are meant to.

I don't know if the cardinal count will climb at all, but I plan to continue putting out a mix that will draw them.

I visited Blue Witch's blog tonight and came across this quote by Anthony Trollope:

"And above all things, never think that you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning."

I was taken by the last sentence, and asked Dear Husband if he agreed with Trollope. Without hesitation, he said yes.

We didn't discuss it any further, but it's been lurking in the back of my mind. It seems to me that the average person behaves as he perceives himself. I agree with Trollope's advice, but I think his caution should have been not to let others color your opinion of yourself.

I know a number of people who describe themselves as "blue-collar" workers, or "grunts," or even "mushrooms." "Peons," "serfs," general dog's-bodies".....there are all sorts of names, most of which are not fit for polite company, that are used to identify people who are not in a position of power. Generally, those terms are negative in connotation. How does a person who has been labled with one of these terms preserve a positive view of himself?

I am one of those people who believes that you can be a success at any job. While money is nice, it isn't everything. The quality of your work, and your commitment to your work is more important to me, whether you are a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or the man running carts at the local grocery store.

Usually the person who makes less money is thought of in more negative terms. Money frequently equates to power and status. In our material age, how do you disregard class attitude to live a happy life? If you have to work at a job you don't care for to be able to put food on the table, how does that affect your sense of self?

I don't have the answers, just the questions. Here's one more. Do you suppose Trollope was contemplating Will Shakespeare, who said: "This above all: to thine own self be true..." ?

I steeled myself tonight, and admitted a long time aversion. Dear Husband was watching a show about dirty jobs. I asked, "WHY, do you enjoy that." He said it was because it was about jobs that he wouldn't want to do. "So WHY do you watch it?"

I never did get a good answer.

DH will watch virtually anything science. He loves the programs that guess about the creation of the universe, or about probes and satellites we've sent into outer space. He likes archeology, and geology, and those goofy programs where college kids are given a bag of parts or limitations and told to go forth and create the winning machine.

He LOVES old WWII movies. We tuned in to one where they were landing planes on an aircraft carrier, with Robert Taylor and Walter Pigeon. We've seen enough of these movies to be able to write one, so I started calling out the possibilities.....his tire is going to fall off on landing, he's going to overshoot the mark and hit the other planes, he's going to hit the tower, he's going to go over the edge into the drink. And finally.....the SHARKS will get him.

I am sick unto death about SHARK SHOWS!! We ALL know how dangerous sharks are, yet there must easily be 24 documentaries showing a photographer being slooooowwwwly lowered into the water in a cage while some jerk drops shark bait around him. It's no surprise the shark tries to chew through the cage to get at the man photographing him. Men seem to be fixated on sharks and their danger, and I have to tell you ladies and gentlemen, I have an aversion to shark shows!

I can deal with the science shows, and I'll sit through all the WWII movies, but we've seen our last shark show.

Buffy's Blacklist
1. SHARK SHOWS!

Dear Husband received a mailer about two weeks ago from his doctor. The doctor was requesting that his patients attend a meeting about a new form of health care. We didn't have a clue what was coming, but we signed up to attend the two hour meeting.

Dear Husband came home early to change and we drove to one of the local hotels, and found places at the back of the auditorium. DH's doctor, and another doctor got up to speak. Each of them talked about their schooling, their families, their personal interests, and their hopes for the future. And then they told us about a management association called MDVIP that they are going to join.

Two startling facts came out. Each of the doctors will have a maximum of 600 patients in the future. And each of those patients will have to pay $1500 ANNUALLY for the privilege of being one of those 600. Ostensibly, that $1500 is for an annual physical. The physical is fairly extensive, and the purpose is to give the doctors information to help the patient create a life plan to prevent disease. Any other office visits would be covered by the patient's personal health insurance.

Dear Husband has a deductible on his health insurance of $1,000. So, he will start the year owing $2500 for health care and maintenance, plus 20% of any additional charges.

The doctors painted a glowing picture of the additional time they would be able to take with each patient. No more 15 minute visits with sick people. Instead, they would be able to spend as much as an hour, or more, with people who want to take control of their lives and stay healthy!

The doctors could look forward to fewer late night calls from the emergency room, and fewer hours doing rounds at the hospital, because their patients would be healthy! And, because these two doctors had decided to go into this form of management together, each of them could look forward to a three week vacation each year, and a week for professional improvement, as they cover for each other.

They painted a glowing picture of the triangle of MDVIP, the hospital, and themselves. Unfortunately, I didn't hear anything about the patient in this presentation.

The doctors talked about obscene malpractice costs. They talked about having 2200 to 2400 patients depending upon each of them, and how much they would miss those of us who chose not to sign up. They studiously avoided talking about the 1800 people they were setting loose on the other doctors in this area, those 1800 who are ill and can't afford the additional cost, or who don't sign up in time to be one of the 600.

At one point, I thought, "Yeah....this might be a good thing, especially if you have an ongoing problem and want the old-fashioned kind of doctoring, where you were given information and advice and kept abreast of current research." And I can understand that these men want to have a life.

But, when I step back and look at it, it just feels greedy to me. It's one more LARGE fee to get the kind of care we should already be getting.

Our health care system is broken, and someone needs to take responsibility to fix it. I don't think we will be continuing with this doctor. Would you?