Wild Debauchery! Hedonism! Carousing! Don't those words bring wonderful images to your mind? I see rippling muscles, rivulets of sweat, rumpled bed covers, an empty bottle of wine and two glasses, clothes strewn over the floor, and a candle burning down. I can't begin to describe the sounds!
When did I turn away from a life of carousing to become a conservative suburban matron? What made me choose to become a housekeeper and a chauffeur rather than a hedonist? What made me give up wild debauchery and settle into office work? I could become famous if I had the answers and could warn people about veering off the path of pleasure!
I remember reading one of the last things Erma Bombeck wrote before she died.
She felt she would have lived a different life if she could do it over. She would have focused less on keeping a showplace of a house, and more on time spent loving her children and husband. Too many of us are rehearsing our lives rather than living them, and end up with the same regrets Erma had.
Then, there's always the need to live up to your family's expectations. I wish I could be the black sheep of the family. I could miss gatherings and forget birthdays and generally have a bad reputation. And I'd know that they'd all talk about me now and then, but it wouldn't bother me in the least.
Do you suppose we are genetically disposed to be what we become, or is is our ennvironment that forms us? Nature vs. Nurture. I've never been able to decide which is the stronger influence. It feels to me that "nurture" was stronger, in leading me to the suburban matron role. So where was "nature" when my wild debauchery was waning away?? Wouldn't you think the instinct for sex.....well....for procreation, would always be the strongest?
My husband is going to retire before I do. Unfortunately, I work for him, and I'll be out a job when that time comes. My sister suggested that I put in some time managing a McDonald's, but I have a better idea. I think I'll take up phone sex. *G* I actually announced that to my mother. She just gave me one of "those" looks. I know she was wondering if they swapped babies at the hospital.