I was visiting -e-‘s blog, Wazzup, today, and read what he had to say about people who blog. I’m a newbie to blogging, but I’ve chatted in several formats for about three years. I am NOT surprised to find that people have the same failings here that they do elsewhere on-line.
I’ve never understood people who create a fake persona. What joy is there in hiding your true self from the people you talk with? When I first started chatting, I was disturbed by the A/S/L question that was always asked. I was reluctant to discuss age because I assumed that younger people would feel they had nothing in common with me. When asked my age, I would say that I was 84, walked with a cane, had a dowager’s hump, hair sprouted out of my chin, I drooled, and was toothless. Now…I really wasn’t hiding behind a fake persona, I was simply unwilling to give out a lot of personal information. Anyone who took the time to talk with me after reading that description got the truth, or as much as was appropriate for that person. After all, we never really know who we are talking to until we meet them, so safety is an issue.
I recall one person who felt it was his purpose in life to stir up trouble. He could be guaranteed to disagree or bring up a volatile subject. He was actually a charming man who needed to work on his self image. He was able, with the help of a friend, to virtually shut down the discussion on a Onelist. I still don’t understand what satisfaction that brought to him. I assume that the need to have power over others surfaces here, as it does in real life.
The other kind of behavior that I fail to understand is being “two-faced.” I don’t know about you, but if I know a person is saying one thing to me, and something totally different to another, I can’t trust that person. I’m sure that person is going to turn on me at some point, and I don’t want to be there to receive that kind of treatment.
I’m a “What-you-see-is-what-you-get” sort of person. I am relatively non-confrontational, but if you push me, I’ll tell you exactly what I’m thinking, and that brings us to something else Eric said. We all put our best foot forward on-line. Although I’ve seen what seems to be incredible honesty on a few blogs, most of us present ourselves in the best light possible. I think that’s human nature. I’m not likely to share my deepest thoughts with you. Since we limit what we tell our loved ones, it should come as no surprise that we put greater restictions on what we say here.
Soooooo…..tell me what you’re thinking. Share discussions on the vagaries of life…..rant with me about the wrongs in the world. Just don’t assume that you know me, until we’ve met…..and maybe not even then.
-e-……..it sounds like you’re having a tough day. I hope things improve, soon!

I’ve been thinking about how romance writers use words. It interests me how they take words that are not commonly associated with sex and imbue them with a sensual patina. I was reading a book by Linda Howard called “Kill and Tell.” The setting is New Orleans, so you already have heat, and humidity, and a languid sensuality overlaying everything. She used the word “heavy” repeatedly in one chapter. She described the main male charachter, Marc, as being heavily muscled. Karen hears his slow, heavy, heartbeat as she rests her head on his chest. She experiences that melting, warming, heavy, sense of ripeness in response to Marc’s lovemaking. And, she welcomes his heavy weight pressing her into the bed.
“Heavy” isn’t a word you often see in romance novels, unless it’s used to describe male anatomy, so it’s interesting to see how the repeated use of a common word ups the ante in the scene.
“Writhing” is another word that’s being used more frequently. When I was younger, you might read that someone “writhed in pain.” Or, snakes writhed. Now, women writhe in pleasure, seeking an elusive climax. IT’s a really great word. Can’t you just see her arching and twisting….her hair spread over the bed….eyes gone blind with need??
But, I have to say, kiwi is the most unusual word that I’ve read that brings sex to mind. Until recently, I rather thought it could be said to have male attributes. I mean….it’s sorta the right size and shape…and hairy! I highly reccomend that you visit Speedbump to read what he has to say about kiwis. You’ll never think of them in quite the same light again.

I love movies. I like a wide range of movies, and have favorites in every genre.
I’ve followed the sci-fi stuff that’s part of my generation…..Star Wars, Star Trek, Aliens. I like almost everything Steven Spielburg has done, including the Indiana Jones trilogy. I like old comedies, and some of the new ones. For some odd reason, I love Bruce Willis movies. Hudson Hawke was one of the first I bought, just for the sheer silliness
I have to admit that I rarely know the names of the stars these days, and I suspect that I’ve missed some good chick flicks. I got to see Chocolat for the first time this month. What a GREAT movie! I think I might look to see what else Juliet Binoche has done, because she was exceptional.
Ryan’s Daughter is an old film that has always appealed to me, despite the sadness of the subject, but Out of Africa has to be my all time favorite chick flick. I just get to the place where I’m resigned that she has to be strong and go through life on her own…..and he switches gears…..and DIES! Man…..I cry every time I see that movie.
I think that An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant and Debra Kerr has to be the all time perfect chick flick. When he tells her his grandmother has passed away, and gives her the white shawl….or when he breaks into her apartment at the end. Who can keep from crying?
Do you ever share chick flicks with your significant other? I mean…..if you are at Blockbuster shopping for the weekend, does he ever agree to watch a chick flick with you?? Or do you have to watch alone, or with girlfriends?? Since I’m a boat widow in the summer, I have plenty of time to watch chick flicks, but every now and then, DH will come in and see one on, and stay to see what it’s all about.
Let me know if you have a favorite chick flick I should look for.

I’m delighted to tell you that the wedding was LOVELY! It came off without a hitch (other than a cloudy, blustery day), and the reception was wonderful. Despite the fact that there were a LOT of factions from three separate families in attendance, there were no fights or hard words. Everyone was on their best behavior, and a good time was had by most.
The bride was breathtakingly lovely. Everyone was emotional, and in the midst of the pastor’s comments she reached up and brushed a tear off her husband-to-be’s face. It was a charming moment. Mike is a typical guy who doesn’t go around with his emotions on his sleeve, so it was reassuring to see the emotion well up in him as Laura and DH started down the aisle.
I lost it as DH gave his daughter away, but I managed to keep it down to a few joyous tears and no snuffling! lol The night before I had been given an embroidered handkerchief as a gift, and I put it to good use.
The reception was lots of fun. We mingled and chatted with family members and new friends and the wedding party. The DJ played a great variety of music, and I discovered that my son-in-law’s mother has similar taste in music to me. She likes jazz and old rock ‘n’ roll. Her husband is a charming man. I hope we get to see the two of them again.
Soooo…..it was worth all the work, so that I could enjoy myself. I went, with the intention of enjoying myself, and encouraged everyone else to do the same.
I had been following Drowning Fish’s saga of the wedding she was attending, and worried that we might have the same experience…..but we lucked out. So, we will be the exception that makes the rule.
I’m certainly not as eloquent as Texas T-bone on the subject of weddings. You have to go visit and read what he has to say about them.
I hope that any of you who have weddings to attend have as good a time as we did!

Today, as I was running errands I was listening to WGN on the radio. From 9:00 to noon it’s presided over by two zany women, who tend to talk about really trivial things. Today, Judy was talking about a questionnaire in “Elle” Magazine about bodies.
The question posed was: If you were in a long-term relationship and you could arrange for one of you to have a GREAT body…..which of you would have the great body? They took six callers and 5 out of the 6 said they wanted the great body. The callers were both men and women. One man said he wanted his partner to have the great body.
The article said that 9 out of 10 women said THEY wanted the great body. Fewer men said they wanted the great body, about 6 out of 10.
Since women tend to be less secure about their bodies their results didn’t surprise me. The physical aspects of making love have to be easier when you aren’t concerned about a few extra pounds, or when you know that your lover admires how you look.
There’s vanity involved in men wanting their partner to be beautiful. Think of how many men divorce in middle age and then marry a trophy wife. I wonder if that really raises a man’s social standing among his peers? I was a little surprised that as many as six out of 10 men wanted the great body for themselves. Does that mean that male values concerning appearance are changing?
How would YOU vote?

If you have been in, or are in, a long term relationship, have you ever hit a point where you didn’t have the faintest idea what to get your significant other? I’ve gone from knowing what DH would enjoy to not having a clue. He’s become like my Dad…….if he doesn’t have it, you can’t afford it. Dad wasn’t a materialistic person, and neither is DH. It’s terribly difficult to buy a gift that matters, and I hate to give a gift just because the day demands it.
I hate to admit it, but Martha Stewart might bail me out this time. With Father’s Day coming up, she suggested using a picture frame with six openings, and filling five of the spots with pictures of his kids growing up. THe sixth spot has a message…you know…..Happy Father’s Day, 2003! Or something a little more personal. If I featured pictures of his daughter this year…..and one of the boys each of the next three years, and his grandson the following year, I could stretch this out for FIVE YEARS!!! YES! Now what do I do for his birthday, and Christmas, and our anniversary???
How do you let your significant other know what you might like to have? Do you get a lot of goofy gifts? I know that there are women out there who have threatened mayhem if they receive another appliance for Mother’s Day, and frankly, I don’t blame them in the least! My ex-mother-in-law received a robe every Christmas, year after year. For Mother’s Day, she got a bottle of perfume. I couldn’t believe she didn’t find a way to guide her husband in his gift giving, but now I find the same thing has happened to me. Maybe I just don’t have enough “I wants.”
I’m at the point in my life where more time together, or quality time, is what I really want. A long weekend trip would be lovely. A visit to the Antiques Fair, or maybe a weekend of estate sales, or visiting Salvage One would be fun. So would strolling a riverwalk, entertaining friends, or playing Spite and Malice. I don’t need a mink…..or a BMW. Diamonds would be kinda nice…..but time is what I’d really like.
If you happen to see DH sailing by…..whisper in his ear…….

“The Joy of…” Have you read “The Joy of Sex”?? When that book came out, I was a modern young married woman, but I had to hold back a nervous giggle as I bought it. You couldn’t order it through Amazon.com then, and it was tantamount to asking for a copy of “Penthouse” at the news stand. I was delighted to have a guide, but vaguely uneasy about it. I finally realized that the people depicted in the poses were all Hippies! Had the book featured a clean-shaven Establishment man….I would have felt right at home! lol Talk about conservative!
I picked up another book recently, Lou Paget’s “How to be a GREAT LOVER.” It’s subtitled “Girlfriend to Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques that Will Blow His Mind.” In the chapter called “Give That Man a Hand” I discovered that I had been depriving DH of a technique called “Ode to Bryan.” I’m amazed he hasn’t divorced me……and he never said a WORD! I wonder if he has a stash of how-to books and is relieved that I haven’t left him because he’s failed to perform some incredible technique from the Kama Sutra?
It’s all about checks and balances. *G*
Okay…..tell me. What other books should I have read??

Good morning, everyone! It’s Saturday, and I’m still in the “getting ready for the wedding mode,” but a comment Dr. D left under “Mates” caught my attention and I had a little more to say about choosing a mate.
When I wrote about mates, I was actually thinking that although we all have an ideal mate in mind as we start our search, we need to be open to the surprises which come our way. That was why I felt we need to know exactly what we must have in a mate, rather than what we might like to have.
We all start out with a long list of what we might like to have in a mate, and then we have to whittle that list down. As many of you pointed out, that ideal simply doesn’t exist, or we are unable to find it. I think that it’s necessary to understand yourself well enough that you can decide what you can’t live without.
Family is an important issue to me. I would be miserable with a man who refused to attend family functions. Even when I’m unhappy with my family, I still have obligations to them, and my husband’s support helps me through the tough times.
If I were starting a family, I’d want a husband who parented equally with me. I think that children need to interact with both parents, and parents need to be in agreement on how the children are raised. Like parenting styles would help, but I don’t know if they are required.
I glossed over it in my last post, but similar interest in sex has to be a requirement. Can you imagine someone who will only allow the missionary position married to someone who wants to explore the world of BDSM?? *G* That’s an extreme example, but frequency and style do matter. If one of you is unprepared to change, then you’re in for trouble. To me, fidelity is also a must.
For some people, religion is a serious issue. Do you need to marry within your church, or could you accept someone from a different religion? Can you accept a person who doesn’t believe in God? Could you change religion for your mate?
There are suprises along the way. I told you that I thought I would marry a tall, dark man. Well….I got the dark part. DH has incredible Mediterranean skin that I envy every day of the summer. But I ditched my expectations on height when I married DH. He’s shorter than I am.
He surprised me in another way. I’m the partner with more education. He’s the partner with more brains. I have the book learning, he has the common sense. I had expected to marry a man who had at least as much education as I have, and found that it really didn’t matter.
I think when you fall in love, you have to think about what you need in your relationship, and set everything else aside. Be realistic, ruthless if need be, but whittle that list down. Open yourself to suprises and enjoy your search!