I was browsing blogs this afternoon, and came across Acidman’s comments about love. There were a couple of his statements I was thinking about challenging, but my mind went off on a tangent before I got there. Go see what he had to say, and don’t nag him about being mushy.
In 1970, the movie “Love Story” was released. It was a HUGE hit. Everyone I knew saw it multiple times, and there were posters and t-shirts everywhere. The famous line that comes from the movie is “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” Horse hockey! (Seems to be the trend for the week….piled deeper and higher.)
I didn’t understand that line at the time, and I still don’t understand it. It seems to me that if you have done something less than noble in your relationship, you NEED to be saying that you are sorry. When you make a committment to another person, whether it’s pledging your troth, or simply saying “I love you,” you are proclaiming that how they feel matters to you.
There are going to be times when you screw up, and you can’t just kick the mess under the rug and go on. You have to face up to your errors, admit them, and say “I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry, and I’ll never do that again” would be even better.
We are not static in our lives. There is never a point we reach where we stop evolving or maturing. Each year adds a perspective that didn’t exist the prior year, and sometimes those changes are going to bring us into conflict with those we love. And sometimes we do things that hurt them. It takes a big person to say they are sorry, especially when they are sincere.
I worry about growing apart, and I’ve been told that I worry too much. It’s natural for the people in a relationship to diverge some as they mature, but my concern has to do with how much diversion a relationship can bear. Can love continue when common ground has evaporated?
One of the things Acidman said that resonated with me was “You can love someone without doting on them. Sometimes you have to love from a distance.” Perhaps that’s the nature of some relationships…..the “if you love them, let them go” theory. I wonder if the secret to a 70 year marriage is that each of the partners has their own interests, or is it common ground that keeps them together?
As you can see, I don’t have the answers. I know what I hope they are, but you’ll have to check back in a few decades to see if I ever figured it out.
One thing I can tell you is the the movie “Love Story” sucks pond water! I avoid all things Ryan O’Neil, now.