Elegante Mother is definitely the Comeback Kid! After seven days in a hospital bed or a nursing home bed, she woke up yesterday to smile at Dear Husband and me, and eat a bowl of applesauce! I’d just about counted her out, and here she is, acting as though nothing had happened.
Of course, she can’t remember the past fifty years, and doesn’t know who her children are, but she recognized a picture of herself from about 35 years ago.
Dear Husband drove me to the nursing home yesterday because we had had an overnight snow and the roads were just awful. We arrived around 10:45 or so, and as we rounded the curtain to her bed, EM looked up and smiled, apparently happy to have visitors. She seemed to have remembered DH, and repeated his name when I said it. I wasn’t sure she knew who I was, but when my oldest sister talked with her today, she talked about going home, and mentioned my name. She may recognize me by name, but I don’t think she realized that I am her daughter. She is very firmly mired in the past, and we think that past is now b.c. (before children).
I was astonished that she let me feed her the applesauce, and when I asked if she had eaten any breakfast, she muttered that she would when they gave her something she liked. They’d offered oatmeal and scrambled eggs. I could have told them she wouldn’t eat that. But…she eats chocolate chip cookies now, after a lifetime of disliking them.
I was relieved to learn that My-Sister-The-Nurse found Elegante Mother sitting in the dining room this morning. She had allowed the aides to dress her and get her into her chair, and take her out of her room. I see that as a major step in her care.
The weather is going to be daunting this week. We’ve had easily 6-8 inches of snow in two days and we are expected to have more during the week. Our high on Thursday is supposed to be -2F. I had planned to visit EM several times a week, but I may be waylaid by the weather. I hope she continues to make progress, even if I can’t be there to watch.

For those of you who feel as though you know Elegante Mother, and those of you who have actually met her, I have some disheartening news. EM is facing some medical problems. We had to call the paramedics on Saturday morning to take her to the hospital.
She is resting comfortably, and is in the care of good doctors. Unfortunately, she is not clear on where she is, or who we are. It’s likely that Elegante Mother will go from the hospital to a nursing home. She will need more care than I can give her, even with caregivers to help.
This is a very difficult time for us. EM has lived with us for the past 19 years, and she lived in an apartment next door to us for another two or three years. It’s a long time to care for someone else, and even though Dear Husband and Second Son are here, the house is strangely quiet.
I hope that you will keep her in your prayers, or send positive thoughts her way.

As I’ve gotten older my wish list for Christmas has changed. Has yours? Elegante Mother would still like to have a fire engine red sexy convertible and a handsome young man to chauffeur her around. My “wants” are usually simpler. I don’t need or want a fur coat. Dear Husband used to give me a burgundy scarf and mittens every year, and I haven’t quite worn out the last two. (I rather miss those gifts.) I have a perfectly good car that gets me where I am going, so I don’t need to follow EM’s footsteps. There are a few things I’d like to have that I need to buy for myself, and other than that, DVDs, CDs, books and gift certificates to my favorite quilt fabric shop make up my list.
This year I received “Wall-E,” “No Country for Old Men,” “Bucket List” and the fourth episode of the Indiana Jones story. I also have my first Michael Buble CD and the Josh Groban Christmas CD. I’m a happy camper!
The big item that I need to shop for on my own? Two, actually. One is a new sewing machine, and the other is a long-arm quilting machine. I need to try out different models so that I can choose the one I’d like to use. I hope to buy them before we retire. I’d also like to purchase the cabinetry to set up the sewing machine. Right now I sew at a Samsonite table, and it’s a bit crowded.
We used to say of my father that anything he wanted that he didn’t already have we couldn’t afford to get for him, and I may have hit that point in my life. There’s an exception, though. My youngest sister and her husband gave me earrings and a necklace this year that are gorgeous. She managed to find stones that incorporate my favorite colors and added an elegant silver necklace. They weren’t on my list, but I’m delighted to have them.
Perhaps we should stop with the wish lists, and just let people give us gifts of their own choosing. What do you think?

At a time when I should be buoyed by the lightness of the season and be filled with good cheer, I’m ticked. I know that I shouldn’t have let this situation get to me, but I really regret the loss of manners that I see everywhere these days. I sound like an old fogy, and I probably am one, but where in the world has the ability to treat others civilly gone?
Last night my youngest stepson and his wife came to exchange Christmas gifts. They had gone to her family for Christmas rather than joining his family. Stepson Three called several days ago to ask if they could visit with us yesterday. When I asked him what time he said, “Afternoon.” That left a lot of leeway, but I figured we would be having a quiet afternoon at home, so it wasn’t a problem.
I should insert here that my daughter-in-law (I only have one of them) has been put on a very restricted diet. It’s so restricted that I hate to ask her about it, because rather than telling me what she can eat, she always goes down the list of things she can’t eat. It gets confusing trying to remember everyone’s likes and dislikes and cans and can’ts, and after a while, I shut some of it out. I’m not perfect, and I have a lot of other things on my mind.
Sooooooooooo….the kids finally arrived around four, and sat with us to watch an hour of Dr. Who reruns. Dear Husband was getting hungry and assumed that I hadn’t planned any dinner. (We all know better, but he didn’t ask me what I had planned). It was decided that he would order pizza. Well, I knew that my DIL couldn’t have pizza. There was some discussion of offering a salad, but no one made a move toward the kitchen, so I assumed that it was my job. I got up and emptied the refrigerator.
I offered seven veggies, three meats, four cheeses, five condiments and about six salad dressing. Too bad I didn’t have the partridge and the pear tree, to go along with that! I laid it all out in an attractive pattern, put out bowls and forks, and set out beverages.
The pizza came, and the guys got up to help themselves. I fixed a salad for Elegante Mother, and added it to a plate with little squares of pizza, and some Greek olives. I took it into the living room for her, and encouraged my DIL to join me in the kitchen so I could tell her what I had laid out. (I had diced up lunch meat, so she might have needed to know which was ham and which was turkey.
Her response was, “NO! I’m not eating.”
What ever happened to “Thank you.” Why did this girl’s mother not teach her any social graces? She was sitting where she could see me putting all of this together. Did she really think I was doing it for the guys, who would be consuming gargantuan amounts of pizza???
A simple, “Thanks, but my diet is so restrictive, I’ll have to pass on dinner,” would have fallen more kindly on my ears. I was ticked then, and I’m still ticked now.
AND, it bothers me that she never speaks to my mother. I thought we might have a problem, because my mother has never cared for my DIL. She has always felt ignored. I don’t know if my DIL simply doesn’t know what to say to her, or doesn’t care to acknowledge her. For whatever reason, my mother has always disliked her, and unfortunately, that was one of the things EM could still remember. I needed to reassure my mother that she would be okay, and that my DIL wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.
I think we need to have compulsory Manners 100. A crash course to cover the near future, leading in to 101, 102, 201, 202, 301, 302, 401, and independent study would be a really good idea!!
Do you think I am asking too much?

It was too good to be true! We actually saw gas prices drop to $1.50 a gallon in this area. Of the cost for each gallon of gas,we pay at least $ .70 in tax in this area, so that’s an amazingly low price per gallon. Unfortunately, that’s ended. The range of prices we saw yesterday were $1.57 to $1.69. Dear Husband has stopped at four gass stations with low prices which did not have regular gas. They could sell him the high test for twenty cents a gallon more, but the holding tank for the regular gas was dry.
I’m sure that the suppliers are waiting to see if their cost of gas drops again. My understanding is that they have to order in large quantities, so they’ve been waiting to see if they could get a lower price. And by now, the refineries are probably on a slow down because the demand for gas has dropped this winter.
Cop Car will be happy to see the price go up! *G* As for me, I plan to stay home and keep warm!

I was chatting with my youngest sister this week about the fact that I am blogging less. I took a look at the archives and you can see that my blogging dropped significantly after June when EM had her seizure. My sis says it’s not that I have run out of things to say, it’s more a problem of being able to fit the blogging in with my current obligations. She’s right.
There are times when I am driving, and I’ll see something along the road, or hear something on the radio, and find myself mentally composing a blog entry. I love the sentences that come with that first attempt, but the problems is that when I finally get the chance to sit down and put them on the computer, I’ve forgotten what I wanted to write about. So, memory is playing a part here, too.
There are no rules to follow. Nothing says that I have to make a specific number of entries a month. or a week, but, I know how hard it is to follow a blog that tends to lie fallow. That any of you come to read is a miracle.
I know that the demands on my time will change eventually. I may even become more organized and make blogging a regularly scheduled activity. Until then, I appreciate that you come to read.
If I don’t make it to your blog in the next couple of days, Dear Husband, Elegante Mother and I all wish you health and good fortune in the coming year, and a Merry Christmas!

Everyone is counting down the days to Christmas. A friend e-mailed me, moaning that she would never be ready. I commiserated with her. I’ve been there, and thought we’d have to either call off Christmas, or sit in an undecorated room. I even left the Christmas tree to be decorated on Christmas eve several years in a row.
This year I had help. My youngest sister, and two of my nieces have assisted me, moving things up from the basement, and getting things set around. Dear Husband has done the shopping for the kids and grandkids. Of course, the only two people I still have to shop for are DH, and Elegante Mother. My bad.
I spent today writing thank you notes, and trying to get the last of the Christmas cards done. I’ve taken over the sending of cards for Elegante Mother, both gift cards for the 25 members of her family who are under 21, and greeting cards. The Empty Nester’s Sweatshop met for lunch on Tuesday and several of the thank yous are going to those ladies. A few more are going to the quilting bee.
I’d like to steal a little time to write three long letters to friends I won’t get to see at Christmas. I have a few quilting projects to work on, and some baking to do, but otherwise, we seem to be making headway! I just have the dreaded shopping to do, and we’ll be ready to celebrate.
If you are mired, my best advice to you is to lower your expectations, simplify, and keep in mind WHY we celebrate. I’ve done a little of all three this year, and I can do more yet. There’s a lot to be said for simplicity.

I seem to have made the shift to rising at 5:00 a.m. I still need a little assistance to do it, but it’s not as difficult as I thought it would be. I have the sense that if I was working outside my home, it would be easier to heed the alarm. Dear Husband and I have learned not to let the radio wake me if it’s absolutely necessary that I be up. I can coast listening to the radio for 45 minutes, even when it’s on LOUD! *G*
I’ve created a morning ritual that helps me get things squared away. DH wakes me and then leaves to make his lunch. He goes down the drive to drop off the mail, and then returns to warm up his truck. When the weather is bad, he’ll snow plow the drive before he leaves While he’s doing that, I start Elegante Mother’s coffee, and make myself a cup of tea. I empty the dish washer and refill it, and get a load of clothes started. Once DH leaves, I carry clean clothes to my bedroom, make my bed and get dressed.
This pattern of activity seems to help me get into work mode. It clears off the counters and creates working space, and limits the distractions At that point, I can fix toast or breakfast, do a little office work, check e-mail, or attend to anything that needs to be accomplished before going off to exercise.
I’m a creature of habit. I operate better when I’ve cleared the decks, and don’t have a lot of detail hanging over my head.

The house is mostly quiet now. Elegante Mother is ghosting around, but I expect her to settle soon. The trees on timers are dark, and the TV is off. Soon I need to find my bed.
We took EM to the doc today for a checkup, following her visit to the emergency room the day after Thanksgiving. All is well. She seems to do exceptionally well when she is the center of attention. You can see her trying to rise to the occasion. But, as we came home, she said she was tired, and hoped that we were going to have a quiet week. I think the effort involved in going out really wears her out, and then she makes it more difficult to care for her.
Dear Husband just keeps on keeping on. He never complains, and he’s chock full of good advice. I wish he’d let us help him sooth his back. This is a man who doesn’t do drugs unless the doctor insists. To get him to relieve pain, imagine us having to sit on him and use a pea shooter to deliver pills. That’s about how difficult he is. Only Ed, the cat is worse.
I’m perhaps three-quarters of the way through my Christmas decorations. They will be done by Friday, and then I can spend a little time baking. I need to plan the meals for the rest of the month so that chore is out of the way. It makes shopping SO much easier, when you know what is going to be served! *G*
I’ve been quilting fabric for several projects. I hope to have a little more time to work on that. We’ve pitched out a chair that was taking up breathing space in our bedroom, and I have the name and phone number for the upholsterer. I hope to take Dear Husband out on Saturday morning to choose fabric to refinish the chair in the kitchen. Bit by bit, I’m tackling things that really need to be done.
It RAINED most of today. The temperature wasn’t unbearably cold, and we managed to off-load EM under cover of porticoes, so the day wasn’t too hard on her. Late this afternoon the temperature dropped, and it shifted over to snow. DH decided to wait it out to clear off the area in front of the house, because it’s supposed to snow until about midnight. The birds were thrilled when I delivered seed today. I’ll have to be sure to do it again tomorrow.
I need to water plants, shift a load to the dryer, and close down the office for the evening. I hope you’ve all had a good day, and are enjoying the preparations for the holiday.
My wish for the season for all my friends and family is that you have good health!