One Word?
I came across this site through a link, or perhaps a mention in another blog. The idea is simple. They post a word, and give you 60 seconds to write about it. Give it a try. Go to:
http://oneword.com/index.html
Friday Five 1-16-04
1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails?
I don’t have a regular sig line yet. When I finally set one up it’s likely to be a feminine wise crack of some kind, or a wry comment on life.
2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? If you haven’t graduated yet, what would you like your quote to be?
Nope……we didn’t do that in the dark ages in the boonies….
3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say?
IF I had them, they would read: QUILTER
4. Have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say?
Yes! I just received the most incredible box of chocolates, with the simple inscription of “Merry Christmas, *****”
5. What would you like your epitaph to be?
“She Tried Hard” or “Optimistic to the End” certainly don’t have the right ring to them. Perhaps something about having loved well.
Female VS Male
One of my niece’s friends forwarded this to me. It’s not only funny, it’s true. My hat’s off to the creator, and I’ll be happy to give you credit for your work, if you just step forward.
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need
but it’s on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change
and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
AND FINALLY…
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
In the weeds…
I’m in the weeds. I really should ask my children where that phrase comes from. I suppose it’s something similar to being up to your gluteus maximus in alligators. As THE office for my husband’s company, I get to do the filing and waivers, and bookkeeping and the payroll taxes. I handle phone calls and pay the bills. You know….the regular stuff.
Well one of the things I have to do is to close out the files for one year and create the files and binders for the new year. Usually I start making the new files in late November or early December. This year, I’m still trying to get to them.
It Boggles The Mind
Dear Husband is a member of the Chicago Maritime Society. He found this article by John Hadfield in their Winter, 2004 newsletter. Mr. Hadfield and the Society have given me permission to reprint the article here. Mr. Hadfield’s source is unknown.
The U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides) as a combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (fresh water dislillers).
However, let it be noted that according to her log, “On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum.”
Her mission: “To destroy and harass English shipping.”
Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine. On 18 November, she set sail for England.
In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchantmen, salvaging only the rum aboard each.
By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, and though unarmed, she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whiskey distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch whiskey aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.
The U.S.S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February, 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, NO rum, NO wine, NO whiskey, and 38,600 gallons of stagnant water.
Now, Dear Husband has done a bit of math for us. Keep in mind that there were 475 officers and men on board.
The first leg of the trip from Boston to Jamaica took 71 days. If the 79,400 gallons of rum were shared equally, each man would have drunk 2.35 GALLONS of rum a day.
The second leg of the trip, from Jamaica to the Azores plus six day in port amounted to 43 days. 68,300 gallons of rum divided equally to 475 men would be 3.34 GALLONS per day.
The trip from the Azores to England took 69 days. The 64,300 Gallons of wine loaded in the Azores amounted to 1.96 GALLONS per man per day, but you have to consider the unknown amount of rum “salvaged” from 17 ships.
On the final leg of the trip, from Scotland to Boston, over 25 days, the men consumed 3.36 GALLONS OF SCOTCH PER DAY.
It’s a wonder they were able to stand to sail the ship. Think about walking on a rolling deck after a gallon or two of scotch. Over 208 days at sea, 475 men used only 10,000 gallons of water. Most likely that water was used for cooking. It’s unlikely much of it was used for bathing or washing clothes. It boggles the mind.
The Chicago Maritime Society will have a booth at the Strictly Sail Show on Navy Pier in Chicago, January 29 – February 2, 2004. My thanks to John Hadfield for sharing the information on the U.S.S. Constitution.
UPDATE: Mr. Hatfield tells me that he got this story from Lt. Bob Doyle USCGR Ret. We don’t know yet where Lt. Doyle found it.
Cotton
I LOVE cotton! I wear cotton clothes, and use cotton linens and towels. All my quilts are cotton, the fabric, the thread and the batting. Cotton breathes. It keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter.
BUT……and isn’t there always a “but” hanging out there somewhere….. when you wash cotton turtlenecks in warm water and then dry them in a dryer, the arms invariably shrink so that they are three or four inches too short!
The body of the garment doesn’t seem to shrink, so just what are the garment makers doing that consistantly makes the arms shrink??? I have a closet full of three quarter length turtlenecks. What sense does that make? My wrists are perpetually cold, and it aggravates me to have to keep pulling the cuffs down. Once they shrink, you can never stretch them out again.
I demand longer sleeves! I demand sleeves that don’t shrink!
(stepping off the soapbox….dusting off my hands)
Thank you for listening.
Hot Off The Press!
How do you get your daily news? Are you a newspaper reader, or do you listen to the radio? Perhaps you watch the news on TV as you have dinner, or do you surf at CNN or other sites on the Internet during the day?
In my lifetime there has always been a newspaper in the house. My mother always read the newspaper, and I recall her comments about the change in quality of reporting when they moved from the Chicago area to Southwestern Missouri. She tells me that my father preferred not to read the paper. Instead, he asked Mother for the highlights of the day
The Cleaning Lady from…
Poland.
I am at a time in my life when I have the great good fortune to have the assistance of a cleaning lady. She comes once a week, altogether too darn early in the morning, to whip us into shape. She methodically works her way around the house first dusting, then tidying things, cleaning, and then vacuuming her way out of the room. I finally got to the point where I could let her make my bed. Somehow, it felt wrong, that I should be making my own bed, but I got over that.
Chocolate
I received an incredible gift from a friend at Christmas. He sent me a box of chocolates from Aix en Provence, France.
The box alone is wonderful. It’s about 2.25″ high, 3.5″ wide and 6″ deep. There is a brass nameplate with my name inscribed on it. One side of the box has a quote from Balzac, in French, and the other side has a line drawing of Notre Dame. The box has a sliding top and when you open it, chocolates are layered in two covered trays.
A Jumble of Things
My ISP is AOL (unfortunately). If you haven’t seen an AOL screen, it pops up little blurbs for you to click on. Tonight, one of the things that caught my eye was a comment about the worst places to live in reference to car insurance. If you live in one of the following ten states, you have the highest insurance bills:
District of Columbia
New Jersey
Massachusetts
New York
Connecticut
Delaware
Nevada
Rhode Island
Louisiana
Arizona
Isn’t it amazing how many of the are in the northeast?