My mother passed away on Thursday evening at 11:00. We were fortunate to have had a visit on Wednesday evening when she was unusually alert. My brother and two of my sisters and I gathered with Elegante Mother’s pastor, and we reminisced about our days with EM. Mother seemed to be pleased to be the center of all this attention, and she held my brother’s hand all evening.
When it was time to go, her face registered the “Where are you all going?” look, and I heard in my head the plea, “I want to go too!!” It’s been dreadfully difficult to leave her each time I’ve visited. I felt she needed to be with me, but I know my siblings were right to arrange for her to be in the care of a 24/7 caregiver. By the way, that caregiver was a gift from God! We could not possibly have found a better person to care for EM.
Thursday morning, we began our visits, coming in ones and twos to stay for an hour or so, but EM was so soundly asleep, and struggling so greatly to breathe, that we ultimately left her in the care of the Hospice staff. Just after we’d gone to bed, my oldest sister called to say that Elegante Mother was at peace.
My youngest sister and I began planning EM’s funeral about a month ago. I followed through, finishing up the details, and she returned to help me choose flowers and arrange for a luncheon. There was another visit with Pastor to share our thoughts and memories of EM, and another gazillion details to be organized.
My mother had an exceptional eye for color. When she lived near Branson, Missouri, she took lessons in painting, and eventually those artistic abilities morphed into quilting. While she had an appreciation for all colors, her favorite was RED! She loved all the shades of red, but she liked Christmas red the best, the clear, bright, happy color we first meet when we open a box of crayons.
To honor Elegante Mother, as we held her visitation, many of us chose to wear red. We have quite a large family, and many of them participated in the visitation, welcoming friends, and throughout the room you could see every shade of red, in every type of garment, right down to shoes and up to hats! I warned friends who contacted me via computer that they shouldn’t be shocked by the red, that we were celebrating EM’s life, and friends began arriving in red. Despite our terrible sense of loss, we are confident that Mother is at peace, and we let our friends and all the red buoy us up and carry us through a difficult time.
Today, we started with an hour of visitation at the church for those who could not be there yesterday, immediately followed by the funeral. Pastor had clearly listened to what we had said and pulled together an elegant paean to Mother’s life and the lessons that could be learned from it. He incorporated the scriptures we chose, with the music she had requested, and blended it together in a loving remembrance of a very special woman. My youngest sister stood to deliver, brilliantly, an amazing eulogy which she had written.
Following the trip to the cemetery, we invited all who knew her to join us for lunch, and it was an incredible meal. We purposely tempted them, because we have all been on light rations for a few days, seeing to Mother’s needs. Those who thought they might not be able to eat, rediscovered their appetites. Everyone left sated, from food and companionship, support, and an eased heart from having shared their stories of Elegante Mother.
So, we are starting that trek that we all follow after loosing a loved one. My mother has left an incredible hole in the lives of inumerable people, not just within her family. Many of my online friends have met EM, and then there are the Red Hat Ladies, the exercise class, the Empty Nesters, her doctor and dermatologist and optometrist, the ladies of the salon, and the people at the grocery store, at the pharmacy, and on, and on, and on…..
Mom…..I’m so glad you’re at peace.

Thanks to ~T~ we are back on-line, and her timing is good, as always.
My family and I are gathering because it seems that our mother’s time is nearing it’s end. My very Elegante Mother is weak, having difficulty speaking and she is refusing to eat or drink. Hospice has told us that it won’t be long now before she passes away.
In some ways, it’s a blessing to know that the end is near. We really don’t want EM to suffer any longer, and the woman we remember would absolutely HATE seeing herself like this. It’s funny how often that bit of vanity has been repeated over the past few months. I never thought of Elegante Mother as being a vain person, but she was very careful to look her best. She greeted every day well groomed and dressed beautifully. EM lived with us for 19 years, and I think she may have purchased her first pair of jeans during that time. She must have bought them to wear when gardening because she would never have been caught wearing them away from home! She had a very classical look to her clothing, and I could walk into a store with her and hold up things I knew she’d go for. Think “Chanel” and you have a picture of how EM dressed.
Another blessing is that EM is pulling the family together again. We have been dispersed, leading our own lives, and coming to be with her has caused us to reconnect. Four of us visited with Elegante Mother late yesterday afternoon, and it was good to re-establish our familial bond.
So, we wait, and celebrate Mother’s life, and keep her company through her last days. I believe she would say, “God is good.”

Just in case this doesn’t come across the Internet as it’s intended, this is TONGUE IN CHEEK!
Dear Husband heard the guys talking at work about the plan to build a mosque close to Ground Zero in New York City. They were all for it, but they felt that we should put a Hooter’s on one side of it and a Marine Recruiting Facility on the other. Just let your mind wander on that for a bit. *G*

Blech!
I have to look for a job. I’ve always known that I would need to find another job one day, but I’ve played “ostrich” about it. I’ve worked for Dear Husband’s company since 1986. Since I am two or more years younger than DH and his partner, I knew they would want to retire before I reached the age to claim Social Security. Well, the time has come to start looking. I need a job.
The biggest problem is that I have no experience looking for a job. I don’t know how to match up what I can do with what a company might need (or want) in an employee. Other than want ads, I don’t know where to look for jobs that might be suited to me. We always laughed about my working for McDonald’s for two years, but I doubt that I would be able to stand for a full shift day after day. I need to find a job where I can sit down.
I’m capable of listing my training and experience. I can find a template on-line to help me create a new resume. But I haven’t a clue how to go about matching what I can do with what a company needs. Where do I start?

When I returned home Sunday night, I forgot to check the answering machine. I hate being tied to equipment that determines how I spend my time. I still haven’t activated the message center of my cell phone, so it’s not surprising that I didn’t check for messages.
Luckily, Dear Husband did. My exercise guru had called to ask if I could sub for her this morning. She is NEVER ill! She has led class with a cast on her leg, and she’s an amazing trouper, but she could barely speak last night. She thinks she has some sort of allergic reaction, and needed me to fill in for her.
I got out the posterboard “cheat-sheets” that I use to call the movements and set them out to review early this morning, and then headed for bed so that I would be well rested. I haven’t looked those sheets over in two or three months and was concerned about doing a good job.
This morning I made my cup of tea, and dressed for the day, and then I sat down to review the exercises. I remembered that I wanted to change the last cardio because there were too many repetitions of one type of movement. I plugged in some of the movements that we are doing in the current session, and then I reviewed the three cardio sets to be sure I knew what to expect.
My class is just wonderful. They cope like troupers when I lead the class. Even when I bobble something, they just keep exercising until I get it worked out. I think I goofed in just one place and everything turned out fine. I told them to work at the level they needed. They could do more than I was doing. If they needed to do less, or needed to protect a sore shoulder or hip, I told them to work at their own pace.
As we made the shift from cardio to resistance training, I paused and asked something special of the class. We have had a number of new members join us over the past two years, and there seems to be an “us against them” mentality. The newcomers don’t feel very welcome, and the original group feels that the exercise is changing because of the new people. That’s not the case, but it’s the perception. I’ve always thought if they made the effort to get to know each other, we could overcome some of that attitude, so I divided the class in half and gave the following instruction: “This side of class is to walk over to that side of class and introduce yourself to one person you don’t know, ask their name, and ask them to tell you one thing they like to do.” I was astonished at how well that turned out. I actually had to tell them to break it up! lol I plan to repeat the exercise in September when I’ll be leading class again.
Of course, everyone was clock-watching today because it was the day we were scheduled to go to breakfast after exercise. We celebrate birthdays once a month, and I’d say that perhaps two thirds of the class went to breakfast.
I love it when a day starts out well!

I mentioned in a previous post that we have had to begin the planning for Elegante Mother’s funeral. She is in her nineties now and I suppose we should have done this long ago. It’s quite eye-opening to have to make choices for a loved one.
Elegante Mother requested that we choose a simple casket, and we were able to honor her wishes. I knew that the casket would go into a vault, but I thought the cemetery would provide the vault. I was surprised that we were encouraged to choose a vault at the funeral home. I’ve always assumed that a vault is leak proof, and was required to preserve the water table below the cemetery. Actually, the reason for a vault is to prevent damage and/or cave-ins when the cemetery employees dig the space for the internment. Who knew!?
We were shown about a dozen examples of vaults, and I want you to know that they were all garish, and in bad taste, and they ran from $1300 to four or five thousand dollars! We ultimately chose the least expensive, since no one will see it, and also chose a color that we felt was more suitable. I was really upset to find that they are NOT leak proof!
We also arranged for obituaries to be posted in three large local newspapers, three smaller newspapers and two weeklies. EM has friends and family spread across the Midwest who will need to be informed of her passing. Did you know that the standard charge for an obit in a large city newspaper is $254.00??
I can’t imagine having to make these choices when you have just lost a loved one. I can see that Dear Husband and I have a little more planning to do so that his children, or my family don’t have to try to figure out what our wishes might have been.

Like most of you, I’m just busy with living. I’ve done some gardening, some reading, a little piecing, the usual suspects of household chores and errands. I seem to be able to make it to only two of the three exercise classes we have in a week, so I need to add more exercise at home.
Frankie, my youngest sis, and her daughters and their boyfriends came to Chicago last weekend to see the city sights. Sunday evening they came to stay overnight with us, and we collectively made Eggplant Parmiagiana, and Farmer’s Tomato Pie for dinner.
Monday morning, Frankie and I visited with the funeral home where Elegante Mother will have her wake one day. EM is doing well at the moment. Dear Husband and I visited with her late Tuesday afternoon, and I’ve rarely seen her looking so good. She was able to put together several sentences for us, and seemed quite concerned that we be treated well as her guests. We’d taken groceries, five new T-shirts, and some flowers to her before we went on to dinner. The reason for the visit to the funeral home lies at the feet of the Federal government. Should EM ever run out of funds and require assistance from Medicare, they will take all her assets with the exception of whatever has been set aside for her funeral. We needed to make the choices that will lead to a contract to be funded. It was distressing work, but I know we will be glad that it’s been taken care of one day.
I went for a regular teeth cleaning visit a couple of weeks ago, and the periodontist asked me to have the dentist take x-rays of one of my teeth. The upshot of that visit is that I will need to see the oral surgeon and have a tooth removed, so that they can work on a crown next to it. I’ve known for ages that I would loose this tooth sooner than later. Unfortunately, sooner seems to be here. You know…..it’s hell to get old!
We had quite a storm come through this evening. Thanks for the rain! We needed it. I was supposed to water the container garden today, and didn’t get to it. This most likely saved the plants. I need to get ten new iris into the ground. I think I may plant some of them early tomorrow morning.
I hope you’re all staying cool, keeping hydrated, and having fun this summer.

My sister, Frankie, of Just My Opinion, has been visiting with me this weekend. We went to a birthday brunch for our most special sister: My-Sister-The-Nurse, visited with Elegante Mother, went to the French Market for flowers and veggies, and came home to Frankie’s pasta salad for dinner on Saturday.
Sunday morning, we went out to garden early in the morning, and spent about an hour and a half putting the herb garden into shape for the remainder of the summer. We came in for breakfast and to clean up, and then worked through the middle of the afternoon to finish the Log Cabin quilt top that we started a year ago. It’s based on one of Eleanor Burn’s “Quilt in a Day” books. If we had been able to work for one entire day, we might have actually completed it in a day, but we’ve been working two hours one month, and two another. We have officially finished the top! YEA!!! It will be sent off to my favorite machine quilter so that Frankie will get to use this quilt this season!
That left us a little time to hit the shops for clothes for Frankie’s first day back at school, and preparation of dinner for five: Dear Husband, Stepson #2 and his girlfriend, and the two of us. We took advantage of summer veggies and had fresh green beans, and a “Summer Salad” (tomatoes, green onions, and cucumbers in a vinaigrette with LOTS of dill!), and crimini mushrooms. We rounded out the meal with a flank steak, baked potatoes and sweet potatoes, sliced tomatoes for those who don’t eat the Summer Salad, and watermelon.
We gathered in the living room to veg out for the evening, and I turned on the TV.
“Leverage” is a show that I enjoy, and Frankie had never seen it. We watched two episodes and chatted about Round Robin quilts, and whether we wanted to do one within our family.
Frankie has to be on her way this morning. I’ll really miss the early morning visits. We both head for our personal choice of caffeine and something to read while we rise up into our daytime personae. Sometimes we check e-mail, sometimes we sit and chat. But once the coffee or tea has had the chance to do it’s work, we are off and running. We both have found that it’s more fun to garden when you have company. It’s not just the idea that many hands make work light, though that IS important, but sometimes it’s just the fact that you have company and that your endeavor doesn’t have to be solitary. I need to go visit her this fall and help her with her gardens. Turn about is fair play, and I really owe her the help!
So, in a few moments, we will be parting and starting our days, separately once again. It has been a lot of fun to have these days together!

I’m wondering if I am the only person in the world who does not like the heat of summer. I just THINK about going outside and I start to perspire. Believe me when I say, “It’s not pretty.”
What brought all this to mind is that during the summer, when I find I have time on my hands, my friends and family must all be outside enjoying the summer, because there’s no one on-line to talk to. Possibly, it’s that I haven’t kept up with the times. I know a large part of my family camps out at Face book, and I admit I get there once in ten days or so. I’d talk with people at Skype, but I only have five people registered there. Perhaps I need to check in to Yahoo Messenger more often.
I hope you’re all having a good time, whatever you’ve been doing.
I visited the Farmer’s Market early on Saturday. I got one of the gardens weeded (and it looks SO much better!). I finished my filing, and worked on the bookkeeping for our companies, prepared for an insurance audit, and did some housecleaning. It was one of those weekends where I finished one chore after another, and the sense of accomplishment was great!
Friday and Saturday should be the calmest days of the week, and I’m looking forward to them. When I have the chance to be on-line, I hope I’ll find some of you and hear how your summer has been going.
Remember to wear your sunscreen!

It’s been more than a week since my sisters took me to hear the Eagles and Michael Buble. I’ve been savoring the experience and cementing those memories in place. I believe the entire week qualifies as one of the best times of my life, as much for the time spent with my sisters as the music.
We drove to St. Louis to hear the Eagles. It was a hot summer day without a cloud in the sky. The show was supposed to have started at 6:00, but the start time was moved back to 6:30. We had to wait for the sun to dip behind the left field wall before the Dixie Chicks came out to open the show, around 7:30 or so. The delay was due to the fact that the stage was facing the west and the performers would have been blinded by the sun, and heated out. We were seated below the first balcony on the right field side, and there was a wonderful breeze, which we’ve been told is rare for St. Louis, so we were comfortable.
I enjoyed the Chicks despite the fact that I couldn’t understand one word of the lyrics that Natalie Maines sang. I don’t know if it was her accent or the miking that was the problem. I focused on the camera work for the big screens, and just had a good time.
The Eagles were great! I had no idea how many of their songs I knew. I found myself singing along on some of the songs, and my oldest sister really does know all the lyrics! It’s very likely that I might have enjoyed myself no matter who was performing, because I was having such a good time with my siblings, but….the Eagles were great!
Five days later, my youngest sister and I went to hear Michael Buble at Canseco Field House in Indianapolis. He puts on an amazing show! He sings all the songs that the audience hopes to hear and then some. About two thirds of the way through his set he comes down off the stage and walks up the center aisle (with body guards) to a raised area at the back of the court and sings a couple of songs. He touches hands as he travels up and down the aisle. I’m really glad to say that the audience behaved itself!
I think I will always remember how he ended the show. He chose to close with “A Song for You.” The curtain was closed so that you couldn’t see the band, and Michael was standing center stage with the spotlights focused on him. A couple of phrases before the end of the song, the band stopped playing, and Buble continued a capella. What amazed me was that on the last phrase his mike is turned off, and he sings unamplified. He has SUCH a big voice that he is able to fill the field house! Very impressive, VERY impressive.
So, now I’ve been to a rock concert (and I’d recommend an Eagles concert to anyone), and I’ve been to hear Michael Buble in person (and I’d recommend Michael Buble to everyone). This has to have been the highlight of my summer! May you all be so fortunate!