I mentioned in a previous post that we have had to begin the planning for Elegante Mother’s funeral. She is in her nineties now and I suppose we should have done this long ago. It’s quite eye-opening to have to make choices for a loved one.
Elegante Mother requested that we choose a simple casket, and we were able to honor her wishes. I knew that the casket would go into a vault, but I thought the cemetery would provide the vault. I was surprised that we were encouraged to choose a vault at the funeral home. I’ve always assumed that a vault is leak proof, and was required to preserve the water table below the cemetery. Actually, the reason for a vault is to prevent damage and/or cave-ins when the cemetery employees dig the space for the internment. Who knew!?
We were shown about a dozen examples of vaults, and I want you to know that they were all garish, and in bad taste, and they ran from $1300 to four or five thousand dollars! We ultimately chose the least expensive, since no one will see it, and also chose a color that we felt was more suitable. I was really upset to find that they are NOT leak proof!
We also arranged for obituaries to be posted in three large local newspapers, three smaller newspapers and two weeklies. EM has friends and family spread across the Midwest who will need to be informed of her passing. Did you know that the standard charge for an obit in a large city newspaper is $254.00??
I can’t imagine having to make these choices when you have just lost a loved one. I can see that Dear Husband and I have a little more planning to do so that his children, or my family don’t have to try to figure out what our wishes might have been.
Arrrgh!!!
It's just my state of mind!
Buffy–Amazingly, either you live in a low-cost area of the country or inflation has been zero in the mortuary business over the last 16 years. My own mother’s basic vault was somewhere between $1500 and $2000 – I don’t recall precisely. Amazingly, it had not been included in Mom’s pre-paid funeral plan, but was a requirement. Mom & Dad had pre-paid their funeral expenses on a monthly payment plan back in the 1940s, laws requiring vaults were probably enacted after they had completed their payments. They did their early planning when my sister died, the second of their children to do so in childhood. My eldest brother had been buried at the feet of our paternal grandfather; but, he was re-buried beside our sister. They occupy two of the six lots in Dad & Mom’s plot.
As to obituaries, the first draft of my father-in-law’s obit that I wrote for the Wichita paper (certainly not a big city paper) ran to about $2000. Judicious editing brought it down, considerably; but, like you, I was really surprised by the pricing. (That was in 2008.)
It’s always shocking to price things that we have no experience with, but it doesn’t sound to me as though the pricing you are being cited is out of line. Sorry!
As hard as it is to do these things before EM is gone, it is wise of you to do so. Good friends of ours lost their mother Thursday and it is so much easier on them because the arrangements were already made and paid for.
Holy Moly, Cop Car!!! Two thousand bucks for one obit! That’s really expensive! I suppose that those prices are in place to keep everyone from writing a book about their loved one’s life, but it seems to be taking advantage of such a difficult situation when so many people are strapped for cash. I think you’re right that the pricing for this funeral is not out of line. I knew it would be over $10,000, but I thought it might come in at $12,500-$13,000. As far as I’m concerned, it’s Mother’s money, and she should go out in style.
I wish that I had done as your parents did, and create my own funeral account. That seems like a really smart thing to do.
Bogie, my mother has five children who are all chiefs. It’s MUCH better to have done this planning now. It will make things easier for us emotionally, and it will avoid making decisions when we are in the grip of grief.
I’ve sent a note to all involved to let them know the choices that were made, and to offer them the chance to see the contract before we commit. No one has criticized, or requested any further information, so I think we have done the right thing.
I’m glad your friends were able to focus on their farewells to their mother, rather than having to worry about the business of burying her.