Late last year I bought several new DVDs for my collection. One of them is “You’ve Got Mail.” One of the special items on the disk is the director and screen writer (Nora Ephron) talking about the making of the movie as the movie unfolds on the screen. It was fascinating to hear them talk about putting their ideas on film.
At one point, Ephron talks about what we are looking for in the person we hope will be the love of our life. She says we tend to describe ourselves when we describe that person: Democrat, loves classical music and cats, goes for long walks, spends weekends watching TV, gardens, whatever.
I think, were I pressed, I would have said “Tall, dark, and well-educated.” My father was 6’4″ and had black hair, and was well-educated. I think that I expected to marry someone similar to my Dad or my brother.
Ephron says that younger people are likely to say “I could never marry someone who……Was a Democrat, who fished for a living, who was a couch potato, who didn’t want kids…..whatever. The point is, you have very little control over who you come to love.
Is your Prince Charming the ideal you imagined? Dear Husband comes close, but he isn’t a carbon copy of my Dad or brother. What you can’t know is how wonderful the surprises can be when you choose someone different from your expectations. We’d live a VERY dull life if we were both like me. DH brings a weird sense of humor to the mix. He’s open to more experiences than I am, and he’s willing to completely change directions from his original plans. We took off for Lake Geneva one weekend, and it wasn’t until after dinner that we discovered there was not a room to be had in a 50 mile radius. That was the weekend the Special Olympics were being held in Madison. He found us a place to lay our heads. We could have driven home. Instead, we found the last room at a little motel, and were able to take a sail on Lake Geneva early the following morning, with just the captain sharing the boat. It was wonderful, and totally beyond anything I might have chosen.
We’ve had a lot of fun days like that. I hope there will be more in the future. I don’t remember my mother ever giving me advice on what to look for in a husband. Did yours? I suppose that’s a subject for another day.
If I had daughters, would I be able to say to them, “Don’t be afraid to fall in love with someone who is different.” Would I regret those words? Maybe. Maybe not.

I had my 2006 mammogram yesterday. I believe that every woman 40 and older should be tested once a year. At one point doctors talked about doing the test every other year, but ultimately they returned to the once a year schedule for the best diagnostic coverage.
My oldest niece developed breast cancer last year. She has had extensive surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, and we’re hoping for the best. A mammogram is an unpleasant test, but it’s well worth it to get early warning if you’re developing cancer.
We changed health care providers this year. I switched from one major hospital affiliate, to a completely different hospital system. I got to my appointment, filled out the information, and went in for the test. It was significantly different. This time I was compressed TEN TIMES! I thought she’d never finish. I was getting really tired of being pushed and pulled and grasped, and of course, now I’m worried that she saw something she wanted to highlight on the films.
If I’m fortunate and dodge the bullet, I may go back to the previous site where I had mammograms done. You can bet that I won’t be going back to THIS site. If nothing else, I’ll go to the hospital to have my mammogram done.
I apologize if I’ve frightened someone who is getting ready for their first mammogram. The test is bearable. You can get through it. I did, but I think it could have been done better. If you have any concerns, ask one of the women in your family, or a friend, for a referral to someone they trust.
By the end of the month, I should get a copy of the report. Just why is it that the doc gets them in five days, and it takes them ten days to tell me about my own body???