It’s been a really long day, and I’m just about at the end of it. I had my nose to the grindstone in the office and have very little to show for it. The most irritating part of the day was waiting for people to return my calls so that I could get my work done.
By 1:00, I was working myself into a tizzy, and realized I needed a break, or I would make my family miserable, so I turned to my computer and browsed blogs.
Dr. D had written about ghosts, and it made me think of Dad. When I was younger, I believed that if ghosts couldn’t be proven scientifically, they didn’t exist. But I’ve had a change of heart. Now, I believe that there are worlds out there just beyond our consciousness, waiting for us to wake up and find them.
My Dad died 20 years and 9 days ago. I still miss him, although I no longer think of him every day. Perhaps it is the time of year that’s made me think of him recently.
My Dad was one of those fathers who are perfect in the eyes of their daughters. He was my rock. I could always count on him to be there for me, whether I was right or wrong. He would have supported me if I was right, and gently guided me if I was wrong, but he would have been by my side. I have three sisters, and each one of us is confident that “Dad loved ME the most!”
Dad had five major heart attacks, and a host of smaller ones he never knew he had. He hated doctors and chose not to go for help unless it was an emergency. He had an aortic aneurysm, and we lost him 10 days after it burst. The night he died tornadoes swept through Springfield. The entire world was in disarray. Horrible storms followed the tornadoes. On our way home, I had to pull off the road and park under the canopy of a bank drive-through to get out of a hail storm. The weather seemed totally fitting to me. After all, I was mourning the loss of my Dad. Why shouldn’t the world mourn too?
The next week was horrible. There were wakes in two states before my Dad was finally laid to rest. I though it would go on forever when I just wanted to be alone. It was then that I realized Dad was there. At first, I thought I might catch him if I turned to my right fast enough. It seemed he was standing just behind me, keeping an eye on things and reassuring me. Finally, I stopped trying to trip him up, and just accepted the comfort it brought me that he was near. It felt rather like he was standing beside me with his arm around my shoulders helping me through all that needed to be done.
I never talked with him. I didn’t see him. But, I know he was there. He was with me for five or six weeks, and then one day I realized he was gone. I kinda think he needed to stay to be sure that Mother was cared for, and that we were taking care of things.
Are there ghosts? I don’t know. Was my father with me? Yes. You have to decide for yourself what you believe.
One more thing….. My father was an exceptional man. I hope I’ll see him again one day. Dad……I love you.
Monthly Archives: May 2003
Surfing
This list is the top 30 searches on Lycos for the week ending May 5, 2003:
1 X2: X-Men United
2 Tattoos
3 KaZaA
4 SARS
5 Dragonball
6 Kentucky Derby
7 American Idol
8 Prom Hairstyles
9 Britney Spears
10 Mother’s Day
11 The Matrix Reloaded
12 NFL
13 50 Cent
14 WWE
15 Atkins Diet
16 Las Vegas
17 NASCAR
18 Pamela Anderson
19 NBA
20 IRS
21 Marijuana
22 Yu-Gi-Oh!
23 Jennifer Lopez
24 Brooke Burke
25 Dixie Chicks
26 Baseball
27 Eminem
28 Harry Potter
29 Christina Aguilera
30 Iraq Rebuilding
Please note the type of subject that makes up the first 29, and then look at the 30th. How naive we are to let the subject of rebuilding Iraq fall to 30.
I suppose this gives us some idea of the median age level of the people surfing at Lycos. *GRINS*
More on Hazing…
Since I posted, more information has been made available about the hazing incident in Northbrook. I’ve seen footage of it on the TV, and listened to commentary on the radio.
It seems the girls organized this activity on their own, without the sanction of the school. It took place off the school grounds, and <u>legally</u> is not the school’s responsibility. At one time, this type of activity was allowed, but the school ended the practice when it became too rough.
The senior girls ordered yellow sweatshirts for themselves, and white ones for the juniors, and then invited the juniors to participate at a cost of $35-40. The principal wondered why anyone would accept an invitation to be hazed. I wonder why they stayed and put up with it when it got bad.
The juniors were huddled on the ground , surrounded by a circle of seniors, being smeared with all sorts of offensive things, and struck. Several people video taped the entire episode!
The best of the comments that I have heard so far have to do with responsibility. The KIDS should be held responsible for their actions , and so should their parents, since the girls are still minors.
The school had both the students and their parents sign a code of behavior at the start of the school year that would preclude behavior like this. While the senior girls will not be suspended, they have been banned from extracurricular activities. I bet the next howl we will hear will be from the parents of the girls who will not be allowed to go to prom!
A more militant opinion was that the police should have been called, and this should have been pursued legally. It would surely give other students pause for thought.
I don’t know yet how aggressively I’d pursue this. We need to work with younger children to instill respect for their classmates, rather than putting out fires in high school. And I STILL think hazing should be banned!
Hazing SUX!!!
I was reading the Chicago Tribune, and came across this article http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-030508hazing,1,6268353.story?coll=chi%2Dnewslocal%2Dhed.
In a prosperous town North of Chicago, the junior and senior girls were having a “powder puff” football game, that turned into a hazing of the junior girls. The juniors were pelted with mud and feces, splattered with paint, and beaten up. Two of the girls needed medical attention.
Two assumptions made in the article truly bothered me. It was suggested that parents had provided alcohol, and also had helped to gather the feces used in the hazing. What parent in their right mind would have done that?? The sanitary considerations alone make this a dangerous and stupid activity, but what kind of message did they give their children? “It’s okay to play with feces, honey; they won’t hurt you at all!” “Go ahead and drink in public…..everyone else does!” “BASH that girl! You’ve hated her all year; now’s your chance to give her one!”
Where were the school officials who should have been present for a school activity? Was this planned to take place in the Forest Preserve so that school officials wouldn’t be there? And what about parents who were present? Why didn’t they stop it?
Hazing is inappropriate! ANYWHERE! I was involved in a hazing situation at college, and learned that even at that age, students still need guidance. The book “Lord of the Flies” runs through my mind every time I hear about students having the chance to assert their authority over classmates. We need to do a lot more to be sure that young people understand the need for social interaction, and how it works.
It’s old fashioned, but I’ve always used this as my guide: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Yep….the Golden Rule. Generations have used it successfully, but I’m beginning to worry that it’s going to fall by the wayside. Just how do you pursuade the junior girls that revenge isn’t sweet, and necessary? After all……they’d just be doing what has been done to them!
NO MORE HAZING!
I must HAVE you!
We’re voracious readers in this household. We probably single handedly support Borders, and Amazon.com. We also hit the library once or twice a month.
Lately, because I’ve been getting the house ready for our daughter’s wedding, I haven’t had as much time to read, so I forced myself not to collect any books that might tempt me. Sunday night I really needed to sit down with a book. My back was hurting and I needed a little quiet time, so I borrowed a book that my mother had just finished.
You can really tell that we are from different generations by the books we read. The book was by Jayne Anne Krentz. It was one of her “modern” books, rather than one of the Regency books she writes under the pseudonym “Amanda Quick.” Actually, I like the Regency books she writes, and I dislike the modern ones. It seems to me that the Regency heroines are all self-sufficient, intelligent women who are misfits in their time and very pragmatic about relationships. In the modern settings, you’re likely to find a heroine who WANTS to be overwhelmed by a man, and to some degeree measures herself by the men who want her.
I cringe when I read some of the lines she gives the men! “I must HAVE you.” “I had you last night, and you were willing.” “I’ll have you again.” What’s with the HAVE stuff?? I don’t know if she was just an immature author when she penned those lines, or if she really believes guys think and talk that way.
I guess what bothers me most about this is that she’s a best-selling author. That means that somewhere out there, women are enjoying what she’s writing. Does that also mean that there are women who swoon at the thought of being HAD….or taken? It’s one thing to have an emotionally and physically strong partner. It’s another to loose your say in what’s going on with your body or your life. All this HAVE stuff makes me vaguely uncomfortable.
I know that it’s not easy to write women’s romance. I’d LOVE to be able to write an entire book, but so far all I’ve managed is vignettes, and most of them are too pornagraphic to publish! Still, I’d rather see a plot with a strong female lead, instead of someone who worries that the big strong man MAY know her needs better than she does. I think it’s a bad idea to promote that idea.
I guess I’m lucky that this is the greatest of my worries tonight. *S* I hope you all have a great night!
Going Cold Turkey
Don’t you wish that you could go “cold turkey” when you diet? *G* You could just stop eating, and your problem would be solved. Eating is an addiction for me. I eat for comfort rather than to live, and now, I have to learn more reasonable eating habits. I want to loose weight for health reasons, for vanity, because I crave the love and approval of my peers and family (not really…..well, maybe SOME of them…*G*). For the most part, I want to loose weight to be healthy.
Desiree is starting a diet. I was visiting her blog and found a kindred spirit. We may go about the process a little differently though. I know that I need more exercise and less food. Once I have made those changes, I will start working on just what kind of food I’m eating.
Tonight, we had broiled salmon marinated in Italian dressing, steamed green beans with bacon, roasted red potatoes with Lipton Onion Soup mix, and strawberries. This meal wasn’t horrible, but there are a number of ways I could have improved it. I could have made my own merinade with less fat, or done without the merinade. I could have left the bacon off the beans. I could have had a baked potato with Molly McButter rather than the roasted potatoes with soup mix, and I could have left the sugar off the strawberries. And, I could have added a salad with crunchy veggies to that menu.
This is going to be a lifelong endeavor, but wish me luck as I start out.
Where do we fall?
I was cleaning out drawers last night, and came across a yellowed scrap of paper that I had cut from an Ann Landers column years ago. William W. Quinn, Lt. General, U.S. Army (Ret.) had sent a letter to Ann, and I’m going to post part of it here.
“……reminded me of an article I had saved, although I don’t know who wrote it. The article said the world’s great civilizations averaged a cycle of 200 years. Those societies progressed through this sequence:
From bondage to spiritual faith
From spiritual faith to great courage
From great courage to liberty
From liberty to abundance
From abundance to selfishness
From selfishness to complacency
From complacency to apathy
From apathy to dependency
From dependency back again into bondage
As the United States has passed its 200th birthday, and in view of the recent epidemic of immorality, I wonder how your readers would assess America’s current position in this cycle.”
I believe that we are somewhere between abundance and complacency, but it’s difficult to pin down just where. Certainly the immorality, drug use, and astonishing numbers of people in prision are signs of a decline. On the other hand, the rise in church attendence and charitable organizations such as Habitat for Humanity show a positive side that still exists.
I’m concerned about a number of things I see around me. I think that a large part of the populace feels that there is no point in voting because their vote can’t accomplish anything. In the last election, the two candidates for President sounded like clones. I’ve never seen an election where the two parties were so similar in their platforms. Furthermore, a lot of the population believes, probably rightly so, that you can’t get elected unless you have personal wealth.
I’m also concerned about a lack of social manners. Simple things such as assisting an older person, or holding a door for the person following you, or being pleasant to a person providing you with a service…..at a check out counter, or a salon, or the post ofice, these simple things are being lost in a world that is very ego oriented.
And the need for instant gratification that I see in the young concerns me. The only thing my parents paid for over time was their home. Everything else waited until they had the cash to buy it outright. We have chosen to live similarly, with a couple of exceptions. When I was refinancing the house, I was obsessing over $1000 on a credit card right after Christmas. It seemed like an inordinant amount to have spent, and I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to refinance. The banker astounded me when he told me they MIGHT be concerned if I had $35 – $40,000 on credit. Who can live with that much debt hanging over their heads?
SO…..what do you think? Where are we on the scale of societal development? Are there other signs that we’re further along the slippery slide?
Insomnia
I used to sleep like a rock. For years I could fall asleep just about anywhere, and sleep for 8 to 10 hours. I’m pretty sure that I’ve slept through at least two tornadoes. I never understood insomnia.
Well, tonight I have insomnia, and I have it bad! Over the past year I’ve developed a lot of discomfort that peaks when I’m trying to sleep. The doc thinks it’s arthritis. During the day I keep busy, and generally ignore the discomfort, but when I stretch out in bed, I’m likely to toss and turn, trying to find a comfortable position.
DH made it to bed tonight before I did, and between his snoring, and my aches, I just gave up and came to my computer. The one disadvantage about talking to people around the world is that they are generally not on line when you are! So….you get TWO posts for the day….and maybe more later on! *G*
What do YOU do when you can’t sleep?? Besides the very obvious (GRINS), I find that working in the office helps, or a small glass of wine, or sometimes reading a book. But you have to be careful about that book. If it’s too interesting, it can keep you up all night long, and defeat your purpose. I think I may find out why so many of my quilting friends quilt in the middle of the night! lol
I wish you all sweet dreams!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Air Force woes
About three weeks ago, I read an article in the Chicago Tribune about Andrea Prosse, a former Air Force Acadamy cadet. It was this article that made me decide I wanted to blog, because I was so incensed at the state of affairs in our military academies.
Ms. Prosse was in the upper third of her class, and had shown exceptional leadership skills when she was sanctioned by her fellow classmates and forced to leave school, 8 days before graduating.
While she was a student, she had dated a classmate at the Academy, and when she chose to break off the relationship, he stalked and harrassed her for more than a year. She finally asked upperclassmen, and her instructors, for assistance, and was told she had to resolve the issue on her own.
In her last semester of school, she was working on an engineering project, and the stalker accused her of lying about where she got the design for the engine she was using in the project. She had borrowed the design <u>with permission</u>, but she was tried by her peers and and forced to leave the Academy. Lying is considered an offense punishable by dismissal.
This woman was planning to become a fighter pilot, and then an astronaut, and now her plans will never see fruition. She doesn’t have her college degree, and since she can’t serve in the Air Force, the government is charging her for four years of education.
She chose to come forward about all this, because even if the case is overturned, and she is reinstated, her male classmates feel she has broken the code by speaking out about a fellow classmate, and has dishonored the Academy in doing so. She will never be able to effectively lead as an officer with this in her background, so this web of lies has destroyed her life long plans.
I have a <b>HUGE</b> problem with an institution that encourages this type of behavior. My tax dollars are going to support a place that feels loyalty to the institution is more important than honesty. Furthermore, the male cadets closed ranks behind the male cadet despite the fact that his actions were clearly self-serving, and this points up the fact that the future leaders of our military place little value on gentlemanly behavior, and NO value on women in the service.
All of this has come on the heels of of 47 women telling their Congressmen that they had been raped or assaulted while they were at the Air Force Acadamy. (Ms. Prass was assaulted by an upperclassman.) At least four of the top officers at the Academy have been asked to step down, but I don’t think changing officers at the top is sufficient. Women who elect to serve our county shouldn’t have to worry about defending themselves from OUR military personnel.
I don’t have the solution to this mess, but I want to see those in charge take the matter more seriously! What do YOU think? Is there a place for women in the services?
Catching up
You’ll be happy to know, I didn’t flood the church! As I told Desiree, about two-thirds of the women, and I, quietly dabbed away tears as the Bride walked up the aisle with her father. The wedding was lovely (eat your heart out, all who couldn’t attend), and the reception was wonderful! The food was tasty, the music was superb, and the company very genial. Even DH and I, who don’t dance a lot any more, spent some time on the dance floor.
This morning, DH and I went shopping! I’ve had a list of repairs that have gone waiting for ages, and this morning we went to Home Depot to pick up the materials we needed to get them done. I didn’t realize I merely had to say……”We’re going tomorrow!” or I would have done this a lot sooner. We picked up a doorbell button, a flourescent light, a ballast for the mudroom light, replacement towel bars (don’t ask how I damaged one…..), replacements for the floor registers, potting soil, grass seed, half a flat of marigolds, and some boat stuff. Repairs, here we come!
Then, we visited Trader Joes. What a wonderful store! I picked up chevre and olive tapenade, and a crispy cracker/flatbread, and had them for lunch. Yum!! That tapenade would be yummy on muffaletas. Trader Joes has such interesting things on the shelf, you could spend hours browsing. We picked up four types of frozen appetizers to try. If they work out, we’ll serve them after the wedding when we host the out of town guests for the afternoon.
I was visiting some of the blogs that I have links to, and read that a blog is supposed to be interesting! Boy, have I missed the boat! lol I figured it was catharsis, or my personal counselor, or my Day-timer. Who-da thunk I was supposed to be entertaining you! Well…..it would be in poor taste to offer sex…when you all do it so much better (After all…..JET will tell you I can’t remember HOW!!!lol) I don’t have any money stories to post, or pictures of babies or babes, or flowers!….. I guess I’ll just have to ponder the situation.
Have a good Saturday night!