Late last year I bought several new DVDs for my collection. One of them is “You’ve Got Mail.” One of the special items on the disk is the director and screen writer (Nora Ephron) talking about the making of the movie as the movie unfolds on the screen. It was fascinating to hear them talk about putting their ideas on film.
At one point, Ephron talks about what we are looking for in the person we hope will be the love of our life. She says we tend to describe ourselves when we describe that person: Democrat, loves classical music and cats, goes for long walks, spends weekends watching TV, gardens, whatever.
I think, were I pressed, I would have said “Tall, dark, and well-educated.” My father was 6’4″ and had black hair, and was well-educated. I think that I expected to marry someone similar to my Dad or my brother.
Ephron says that younger people are likely to say “I could never marry someone who……Was a Democrat, who fished for a living, who was a couch potato, who didn’t want kids…..whatever. The point is, you have very little control over who you come to love.
Is your Prince Charming the ideal you imagined? Dear Husband comes close, but he isn’t a carbon copy of my Dad or brother. What you can’t know is how wonderful the surprises can be when you choose someone different from your expectations. We’d live a VERY dull life if we were both like me. DH brings a weird sense of humor to the mix. He’s open to more experiences than I am, and he’s willing to completely change directions from his original plans. We took off for Lake Geneva one weekend, and it wasn’t until after dinner that we discovered there was not a room to be had in a 50 mile radius. That was the weekend the Special Olympics were being held in Madison. He found us a place to lay our heads. We could have driven home. Instead, we found the last room at a little motel, and were able to take a sail on Lake Geneva early the following morning, with just the captain sharing the boat. It was wonderful, and totally beyond anything I might have chosen.
We’ve had a lot of fun days like that. I hope there will be more in the future. I don’t remember my mother ever giving me advice on what to look for in a husband. Did yours? I suppose that’s a subject for another day.
If I had daughters, would I be able to say to them, “Don’t be afraid to fall in love with someone who is different.” Would I regret those words? Maybe. Maybe not.

I had my 2006 mammogram yesterday. I believe that every woman 40 and older should be tested once a year. At one point doctors talked about doing the test every other year, but ultimately they returned to the once a year schedule for the best diagnostic coverage.
My oldest niece developed breast cancer last year. She has had extensive surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, and we’re hoping for the best. A mammogram is an unpleasant test, but it’s well worth it to get early warning if you’re developing cancer.
We changed health care providers this year. I switched from one major hospital affiliate, to a completely different hospital system. I got to my appointment, filled out the information, and went in for the test. It was significantly different. This time I was compressed TEN TIMES! I thought she’d never finish. I was getting really tired of being pushed and pulled and grasped, and of course, now I’m worried that she saw something she wanted to highlight on the films.
If I’m fortunate and dodge the bullet, I may go back to the previous site where I had mammograms done. You can bet that I won’t be going back to THIS site. If nothing else, I’ll go to the hospital to have my mammogram done.
I apologize if I’ve frightened someone who is getting ready for their first mammogram. The test is bearable. You can get through it. I did, but I think it could have been done better. If you have any concerns, ask one of the women in your family, or a friend, for a referral to someone they trust.
By the end of the month, I should get a copy of the report. Just why is it that the doc gets them in five days, and it takes them ten days to tell me about my own body???

Oy Vey!
Last Friday, Janet tagged me for The Thinking Meme. I told her that I was in trouble because I couldn

There are a lot of little things floating through my brain at the moment. I thought I’d gather them into one post, and see if I could focus and get back to work.
First, let me thank the reader who recommended the music of Linda Eder. I put her name on my Christmas list, and received the “Storybook” CD. What an amazing voice she has, and she’s great with jazz. Thanks for the suggestion!
Second, I’d like to tell the guy who created the squeezable bottles for mustard that sit upside down that they don’t work. It sounds like a really good idea, and may work with catsup, or other condiments that are thinner, but mustard, especially Dijon style mustard, and mayonnaise, simply don’t squeeze out well. Back to the drawing board!
Third, if you have never had a really good kitchen knife, you don’t know what you are missing. I’ve been very happy with several of the knives we have, but Dear Husband’s daughter and son-in-law bought him three Wusthoff knives for Christmas. WOW, what a difference! Of course, I’ve already cut myself on one. I suspect that everyone should treat themselves to at least one good knife in their lifetime, just so they can see what they’ve been missing. Better yet, get three, and you’ll be set for life.
Four, I’m getting better. SLLLLLlllooowwwwwllyyy. The doc put me on an antibiotic because my cold had lasted longer than the usual ten days to two weeks. I was probably getting ready to feel better, but the drugs helped. I don’t usually jump at the offer, but I’d had two two-week or more bouts of the same cold within five or six weeks. I wanted to stop the pattern. The doc says when something like this goes past the two week period, they call it “bronchitis.” I never knew that.
Five, I spent the day yesterday, SUNDAY, chained to my desk. I put in at least twelve hours, and I have more work to be done. The good part is that I can see some of my desk now. And, I made the time to write to some friends this morning. It was well worth getting things done.
Six, My Christmas decorations are STILL up, and it’s the middle of January. And I don’t care. They went up late, and are really minimal. We have wreaths, stockings, and a bank of poinsettias, a small Charlie Brown style Sitka spruce that is up all year round, a tree skirt, swags at the outside lights, and three Christmas oriented wall hanging. I’ll start with the fabrics. Next week we can talk about the evergreens and poinsettias.
Last, click on the link in my side bar for “Just My Opinion.” My sister wonders what gives people a lift. Give her a hand, won’t you?
Happy Middle of January!
NOTE: I was referring to the entry at “Just My Opinion” titled “Just Stuff, ” but it’s fine with me if you weigh in on the discussion about Dan Brown’s book, too!

Elegante Mother is the gift card queen! She has been telling her family for several years not to buy her things for Christmas and birthdays. She has filled her rooms with quilting fabric and books and clothes and music, and there’s just not a lot of room left.
Of course, her family is not willing to let a holiday or birthday go by without giving her a gift, so half of them plan to take her places, and the other half have given her gift cards. She must have eight gift cards to bookstores, a couple for hobbies, one for fabric, and one for coffee. I think she may have a few other cards that I haven’t seen yet.
Each time we go out, I plan to make a stop at one of the places where she has a gift card, to give her the chance to shop. She’ll be able to pick up fabric to finish a quilt (or to start a new one *G*), books to while away the winter (if it ever arrives), and coffee for her breakfast stash. She’s contemplating beginning to paint again, so she may want to pick up oils, brushes and a canvas or two.
We’ll be stretching Christmas out for a couple of months. *S*

I took Elegante Mother shopping today. We went to exercise, stopped for a quick visit at Mickie D’s and then hit the local department store. We were intending to shop for a new purse and a wallet. By the time we left, I could have used some help to carry everything to the car.
EM was amazingly lucky. We were looking at cotton brand-name pants, and classic winter sweaters that had price tags in the $36 to $44 dollar range. At the register, most of them rang up in the $14 to $20 range.
We bought two sets of fleece PJs, and a pair of wild pajama pants. I picked up a pair of fleecy socks to go with the PJs. We’ve just persuaded Elegante Mother to shift from nylons to trouser socks for the winter, so we stocked up on six pairs of trouser hose.
EM chose a purse, a wallet and a new checkbook cover, at least three tops and two pairs of slacks.
AND, we did all that in roughly an hour. The woman knows what she wants!

Why is there NEVER anyone around when you need to babble!??
My husband just called. He said, “I’m going to be late.” I asked why, thinking it was too warm for him to be sitting with heaters to set the mortar on newly laid masonry. He said, “I’ve had an accident, and I need to stick around to talk to the police.”
Getting information out of the man is like pulling teeth!
“HONEY…..ARE YOU ALL RIGHT??!!”
“I’m fine.”
(calming down just a little) “What about the people in the other car?”
“They’re fine.”
“What happened?”
There followed some kind of explanation about the weight of his truck when loaded, and not being able to stop on a dime, and something about somebody zipping through an intersection.
I’m not clear on what happened, but I seriously doubt it is Dear Husband’s fault, and I’m really relieved that he says he’s okay. Of course, he’ll have to prove that when he gets home!
What a day………..

I don’t think I’ve blogged about this. Things have been a little crazy here lately, so I might have. Forgive me if I’ve already shared this with you.
Nine days ago, I was in the kitchen, and Elegante Mother walked up to me and started speaking. I know she wanted to tell me that she had finished using the washer, but what came out of her mouth was a group of completely unrelated syllables.
I was watching her intently, wondering if something happened to my hearing. I thought at first that something was wrong with me, but I realized as I watched her, that she knew she wasn’t saying words, let alone the right words.
Her eyes got big. I suspect that mine got big in return. The entire episode couldn’t have lasted longer than 15 seconds. A second episode of about 6 seconds or so followed. On the advice of my-sister-the-nurse, I gave her the stroke test. I asked her to speak a simple sentence. I asked her to smile. I asked her to raise both arms. For comic relief, I asked her to stick out her tongue. She was fine.
There’s been no more “speaking in tongues,” but we have seen the doctor. He’s fairly sure that EM had an itty bitty stroke in her speech center. To be sure, she will undergo a battery of tests tomorrow at our hospital, to rule out other possibilities.
My mother is ninety. You’d think I would be preparing myself for the time when she won’t be here. I don’t think that’s possible.
My-sister-the-nurse pointed out to me that I’ve been providing EM with assisted living for some time. I actually hadn’t thought much about it. Yes, I help her remember names of people and things, and on bad days, I help with memories that are dear to her. I am her chauffeur, and I am the nag that tells her she needs to eat more. I am the person who takes her shopping, and helps when she needs assistance going up stairs. She is still in charge of her life, but she’s frail, and I can measure the change these days.
I hope, for both of us, that when it’s our time, we go swiftly, in our sleep.
And I hope that time for her is a long way off, yet.