I spent the day with Elegante Mother. I made it to her room very shortly after 8:30. Parking and weather and traffic were all on my side this morning. EM was really sleepy today. I have the sense that we wore her out yesterday, and that she may have not gotten enough sleep, due to a roommate, and a sitter who was willing to chat with her.
She had asked to sit in a chair. I see that as a very positive thing, but she kept trying to doze off. At first I was really upset, and then I realized she just needs more rest. I helped her with breakfast, and a midmorning snack. When I started on the lunch that was delivered, we got about ten bites into it before she said, “NO MORE!” I tried to sneak a bite past her a little later and got the evil eye!
The nursing home was supposed to take EM on Monday, but they had an opening, and she made the transfer today at 1:30. A friend had stopped by and graciously offered to help me carry some of EM’s loot down to my car. I thought I’d packed up everything. It didn’t look like anything could be left in the room, but I missed one thing that my siblings will never let me forget…..her bottom dentures. (sigh) I wondered why she was having so much trouble with the macaroni and cheese…..
My-Sister-The-Nurse made it to the nursing home just as EM was being delivered. We settled down to sign the paperwork, and then went back to check on Mother. She had snoozed for an hour, in the chair. She has a nice room that looks out partly into a tree, and partly over the lawn. She has two areas where we can take her to sit outside and enjoy beautiful patios with lovely landscaping.
We’re expecting EM to go through physical therapy for the next week, and then we will assess her for her ability to come home, with assistance. In the past five days, I’ve visited EM every day, and three of those days I was with her for at least eight hours. Office work is beginning to mount up. I’m going to take clothes over early in the morning, tomorrow, and then my second sister will care for Mother. I’ll go back to do Sunday morning and Monday afternoon. My biggest concern about EM returning home is that I won’t be able to find the time to do the work that can’t be farmed out. We’ll have to find good help that I can trust.
Tomorrow, I’m going to get errands done, work in the office, and make time for myself in the evening. Dear Husband is going sailing over the weekend, so I don’t have to worry about a meal for him on Saturday night. I may just go to bed early and SLEEP IN!
I hope you all have a great weekend!
A Quickie…
…is all I have time for this morning. I need to head out to the hospital soon.
Yesterday, we had quite the roller coaster ride. I was astonished at Elegante Mother’s improvement! She looked healthier, more like the mother I know. She was more alert, and was conversing, and keeping up with what was happening around her.
EM, all by herself, got out of bed, and with the help of a walker, walked about ten feet, turned around and walked back and sat on the bed! That’s an incredible accomplishment for someone who had had a seizure three days earlier.
EM had a caller. MY-Sister-The-Nurse handed her the phone, and we listened to her side of the conversation, which was totally clear. She recognized her friend from exercise, and talked for several minutes. I might not have handed the phone to Mother. I’m learning not to underestimate her. EM has a steel will when it comes to getting out of the hospital!
Unfortunately, in addition to those highs for the day, we also had the results of a swallow test, and the results were not what we had hoped for. EM will have to have thickened liquids, to avoid aspirating liquid into her lungs. She will receive physical therapy to help re-develop those muscles that she needs to eat and drink. Right now she is on a soft diet, and raspberry yogurt is one of her favorites.
Elegante Mother will be moved to an absolutely beautiful nursing home on the hospital campus on Monday, and will continue to receive physical and occupational therapy. I believe that if we explain to her what she needs to accomplish to be able to come home, she will make every effort to achieve it.
Dear Husband is counseling me to take one day at a time. My fabulous friends have given me their love and support, and with all their help, I’m making it through the ups and downs of my days. I can not tell you how much it means to me to know that you are there, encouraging me to take care of myself, and praying for us all. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I’ll be back, as soon as I can. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
Trying Times
“These are the times that try men’s souls…” Who wrote that? I’m too tired to Google this evening, and these have been very trying times.
On Monday, Elegante Mother had a seizure. She made a flying trip to the hospital with hunky paramedics, and spent the day in the ER. Most of her time there was spent waiting for a room assignment. She had a CT scan, and was admitted.
Tuesday morning they did an MRI, and are fairly confident that she is suffering from herpes encephalitis. Most likely this is an offshoot from the shingles attack she had two years ago. It’s possible that it has been building over the past six months, as we’ve watched her language processing deteriorate.
EM had a second CT scan last night, and this morning they had fairly good news for us. No other problems showed up on the second scan. The docs are going to treat her with an antiviral, an antibacterial, and something to prevent more seizures. We hope that she will recover, but we have no way of telling if she will make it all the way back to the person we think of as EM.
Mother is recuperating very slowly, but that’s to be expected, since she is 91. Each time I see her, she is doing better with cognition and language. She knows that I am her daughter, but she couldn’t remember my name. She recognized Dear Husband, when he visited today. She was thoroughly ticked at me when I left this evening, because I wasn’t letting her go home!
EM will be in the hospital until Friday, or possibly Saturday morning. Then, she will be moved to a nursing home for ten days, because she will be on an IV drip for her medicines. At that point, we will assess whether she is able to come home (with assistance), or needs to remain in nursing care for a while longer.
My family has been very supportive. I would be lost without My-Sister-The-Nurse, who, thankfully, has the power of attorney for my mother’s health care. EM has had three generations of family visiting, and each day she remembers more and converses longer.
I hope…..and pray…..that she will be able to return home soon. We’ve been lucky so far. I hope she has more luck left.
Monday, Monday
Can’t you just hear Cass Elliot singing? She didn’t sing the lead on this song, but her voice is always the one I’m drawn to. I’m in the office this morning, and I’ve slipped the Mamas and the Papas’ CD into the computer to keep me company while I work.
Elegante Mother wasn’t in her sitting room when I went to say good morning. She was still in bed, not feeling very well. It’s frightening to find your 91 year old mother still in bed, not able to articulate just how she feels. After a few moments, when she was more awake, she was able to tell me that she wasn’t sick to her stomach, but felt achy and sick, more like the onset of a bad cold.
I’m rearranging my day to be able to keep an eye on her. My-Sister-The-Nurse has just returned from visiting with part of her family in Australia and Hawaii. If Elegante Mother doesn’t improve, I’ll give sis a call to see if we need more assistance.
Normally, we would have gone to exercise at 8:00 a.m., had coffee with friends at McDonald’s, and then gone grocery shopping. I’ll have to check the freezer to see what I can put together for dinner, so that I don’t have to run out to the store.
Dear Husband will be thrilled to find that the Accounts Receivable, Accounts Payable, waivers and filing have been done, and I’ll have the chance to send a back-up to the CPA, so there’s a little sunshine at having to change around my day.
Elegante Mother was very pleased to have been given a clean bill of health from the doc following a fasting blood draw. She was like a little kid, bragging about not having to go back to the doctor! *G* Her test results were pretty decent, and her triglycerides are a darn sight better than mine! I hope this is just a summer cold that’s laying her low.
Alive and Well In Suburbia
HI, all! I just wanted to take a moment to tell you that we’re alive and well, and close to having time to blog again. I wrote about the potluck brunch for the exercise class. Remember, Cop Car moaned about needing to exercise more after all that food!?
The next weekend we went to Indiana to see my youngest sister’s oldest daughter graduate from high school. We went on Friday to help with the preparations and came home on Sunday.
The following weekend Elegante Mother and I hosted about 30 Red Hat Ladies to a potluck brunch. I’ll try to make a longer post on that.
Tuesday and Wednesday I had landscaping help. You know I’ll have a LONG post about that. It’s the first time I’ve ever hired help to get my gardens in shape, and the first time I’ve ever let anyone move anything in my gardens. They look fabulous. My only regret is that I didn’t do before and after pics.
Tonight, Nan and her youngest daughter, her daughter’s Danish boyfriend and his mother will be coming to stay overnight. Our Danish friends are sightseeing in Chicago this weekend before their visit winds down. Hotels in the city are pricey, so the four of them will come to us, late tonight, after a twilight cruise on lake Michigan with Dear Husband. My niece wanted everyone to go to dinner at Ed Debevic’s of all places. I think she thought her boyfriend would get a kick out of the sassy wait staff.
We’ll sleep in a bit tomorrow, and then go out to breakfast before we send the visitors on their way. I’m delighted to have the chance to see them., Elegante Mother is not able to sail, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to drive into Chicago for dinner. This is the best compromise.
We visited the Farmer’s Market today. It’s still early yet, but it was nice to see the strawberries and rhubarb. I think I’ll be making a pie tomorrow!
I hope you’re all having a great spring/summer. I’ll be back with more to tell you, I promise!
June 6-8, 2008
We spent last weekend in central Indiana, so that we could see my youngest sister’s first child graduate from high school. Can we say “Empty Next Syndrome” here?
I know that Nan still has one chick at home, but it’s hit her, big time, that her girls are almost grown and ready to fledge. My niece, who does not have a pseudonym here, was Band Captain this past year, so I’m going to call her BC for now.
We have been traveling to Indiana for Christenings, to take Elegante Mother to Grandparent’s Day, and for soccer games and dance recitals. For the past three or four years, we have followed the band to regional and state performances, so it only seemed right to go for commencement, too.
We left unusually early Friday morning, so we could take the route that goes through all the farmland. I dislike Interstate 80 where it flows across the top of Indiana so much that I’d rather add an hour to my trip than take 80. We arrived at Nan’s around two o’clock. The change in time zones adds an hour to the eastward trip.
We hugged, sat in the sun room and chatted, and had a sumptuous dinner with the family. By 8:00 I figured it would be a good idea to get settled in the hotel, so we took off for the evening.
Saturday morning, Nan had a wonderful breakfast for us, and we spent some time preparing fruit and veggies that would be set into trays for the open house. We all piled into one car and headed for the high school. Nan’s youngest daughter was taking the SAT test and would join us at the gym.
Traditionally, graduating seniors who have been band members are given the chance to conduct the band prior to commencement. We arrived, bringing a brown hat with us. BC slipped it on (along with her pale blue graduation robe), and a cheer when up from the band. She’d chosen to conduct the theme from Indiana Jones! *G* I can’t begin to tell you how proud I was to see her conducting!!! She’s one of a small number of my younger relatives who have chosen to participate in instrumental music, and on top of that, she was first chair clarinet, the instrument I played in school.
Graduation was wonderful. BC’s boyfriend got pictures of her coming in and walking forward to receive her diploma, and then it was over and we were running for the car in the rain! I still need to hold back the sniffles when I think about it, and she isn’t even MY CHICK!! Nan…sorry if it sounded as though I was teasing you, when you called, miserable with empty-nester’s. I can empathize now!
The open house was incredible! If it couldn’t move, it was decorated, and there was food EVERYWHERE! There was an entire room with memories of school, pictures, and mementos. Nan put together a number of scrapbooks that showed BC’s life year by year. It’s amazing that Nan knew from the start that she needed to collect things that would be important twelve years later. She’s done it for both girls. I can’t wait to see the next set of scrapbooks!
We stayed and ate, and chatted well into the evening. We met some of BC’s classmates and friends. Some of her teachers visited, and I believe the pastor was there. The skies had cleared just after commencement and we sat out on the deck at dusk visiting. EM was exhausted, so we finally said our goodbyes around 9:00.
Sunday, we returned to have brunch with the family. I needed to sew a label onto a lap quilt that I’d given to BC. I started it years ago…She says it was TEN years ago. I’d like to think it was only eight, or so…. At any rate, I gave her the quilt in April, but I’d singed the label and had to make another. It was pleasant sitting in the sun room, chatting with the family, and enjoying all the pets, while I worked.
And, as all things must, or visited ended Sunday morning. We needed to start home so that we could make it to an Open House for one of my great nieces.
BC, we are so very proud of you. I’m excited about all the experiences you will have when you go to college this fall. I hope you love it as much as I did, and I won’t be unhappy at all if you choose to change your major to “Instrumental Music – Winds”!! Thanks for sharing your big day with us!
June 1 to 5, 2008
That was only last week, and I’m trying to remember just what we did.
Let’s see…(looking for June in the Day Timer) Oh….Elegante Mother and I had the chance to hear the Glen Miller Band on Sunday. One of my exercise friends had four tickets and only needed two. She called to see if Dear Husband and I would like to join them. Of course, we all know that DH was out on Lake Michigan on a Sunday, but I asked if Elegante Mother could come in his place. No problem!
EM and I left the house about 45 minutes before the concert was scheduled to start and headed downtown. I decided to do valet parking because EM doesn’t do distance walking any longer. We hopped out at the theater and walked right inside. Our seats were on the end of the row, not far from the door. We had excellent sight-lines, and the sound was fine.
They played many of the songs Glen Miller was known for, and a few that I’d never heard. Four band members joined the two singers for several songs, and there were the usual solos The only song they didn’t play that I would have enjoyed was “American Patrol.” Many of the musicians played more than one instrument, and the man who played the clarinet had a particularly nice sound.
At the end of the performance, we were among the first to leave the theater, and among the first to get our car. I had to wait for a bit to edge out into traffic, but it was smooth sailing. I’m glad my dear friend thought to invite us.
The rest of the week was filled with appointments and office work. Monday, we had a visit with the CPA; Tuesday morning EM and I did our annual dermatologist visit, and DH saw the dentist. Wednesday, my hairdresser took pity on me and fit me in for a perm. We didn’t realize it, but my appointments had only been made through May, so while the perm was processing, I sat with the manager and organized appointments for the rest of the year. Thursday, we returned so that EM could get her hair and nails done before we left for Indiana, and my niece’s graduation.
When I was working on the preparations for the Exercise brunch, I’d missed some office time, so around all the appointments, and into the evening, I worked at my desk. I just finished four stacks of filing that were the results of all that work. Filing……my favorite job. (rolling my eyes).
Early Friday came, and I packed (sorta) and we headed off to Indiana. Remind me to pack the night before we go, next time. I left my shampoo and the curling iron on the dressing room counter. And, as usual, I took things I didn’t use. DH says I take the kitchen sink along, but I’d like to point out that we only needed ONE suitcase for the three day trip!
I know the week doesn’t sound like much, but I was glad I wasn’t driving. I snoozed for 30 minutes or so on the way to Nan’s. Peace at last.
Picking Up Where I Left Off
Wow, does time fly these days!!
I think the last time I posted, I was getting ready for the Exercise Class to come to brunch. That was May 30th. Twenty-nine members of the class and two guests were here, and the brunch was FABULOUS!!
I can’t list all the dishes. I’m still not sure what two or three of them were, but it was just like going to a church potluck. We served an egg-sour cream-sausage-cheese casserole, a baked French toast casserole, and a spiral sliced ham. Our guests brought chips and dip, mini bagels and cream cheese, German potato salad, Hawaiian salad, bow tie pasta with artichokes, black olives, grape tomatoes and a tiny bit of cheese, fruit salad, fruit pizza, meatballs, a plantation cake, and baked pineapple with a tiny bit of cheddar cheese over the top that was to-die-for! Of course, the desserts were endless. There was German Chocolate Cake, a rhubarb crumble, banana cream pie and ten other things I didn’t get to try!
It was just a little drizzly, but not wet enough to keep anyone from participating. I set three tables, for a total of 30, and when one last person straggled in, we just made room for her! The house was abuzz with the sound of happy people chatting with each other, and I had a great time! I love it when these friends come to visit.
I was the last to sit down to eat, and when I picked up my plate to take it to the kitchen, I discovered that my friends were washing the dishes. They not only washed and dried and put away the china, but they got the glasses, the silverware and the serving pieces, too! You can’t possibly have better friends than that! There was very little left to do by the time they’d left.
I’m delighted that the iris were at their peak and the gardens were glorious. Dear Husband had mowed the lawn a few days before, and I’d used the weed eater, so everything looked tidy and neat.
This was definitely a “good time was had by all” occasion, and I hope we do it again and again!
Of All the (BAD) Luck!
I’m coming down with something. I have that dreaded raw back of the throat that hit me just as we went on vacation in February.
We went to exercise yesterday morning, and from the moment we got there, I just wanted to sit. My “friends” wouldn’t let me. They nagged me to exercise, so I did, but as soon as I got home I took a nap. Then I took another nap in the afternoon, and my family, bless them, were willing to eat leftovers.
I went to have my hair cut this morning, picked up a few groceries, and then hibernated at my sewing machine for the early afternoon. I’m trying to decide whether it might be time for another nap….
This wouldn’t be so awful if it weren’t for the fact that the Exercise brunch is this coming Friday. Today will be the best day of the weekend, so I’ve blown off prime gardening time when I have very little of it left before visitors arrive.
Still, it seemed right to take it easy today. I’ll just have to hope this doesn’t bloom into something that will make my friends think twice about whether to visit or not. It would be a shame to have them miss the iris in bloom. The first two have opened. Pictures eventually.
If I don’t make it back tomorrow or Monday, Have a good Memorial Day weekend, and don’t forget to share with someone WHY we have this day off!
Pillowcases
This entry is for Cop Car, who shares a love of fabric with me. I’m sorry the picture lacks definition CC, because these are beautiful Batiks! The larger part of the case is made of a green fern print on a dark royal blue, and the “cuff” uses the same colors in a cross-hatch design. The quarter inch folded fabric between the two is a very pale green striped Batik.
They’d make beautiful gifts. I’m seriously considering making some for my family.