I have one more entry I need to post this morning. When my youngest sister heard that Dear Husband and I were going to Florida, she told me she was happy that we were going to get the chance to get away. The only thing she asked of me was a picture of my feet in the sand, with the ocean behind my toes, running on to infinity.
This shot was much more difficult to get than I expected. First, there are very few traditional beaches in the Keys. Where you find them, they are tiny, and generally a community has trucked in the sand, and created an area surrounded by a coral breakwater to keep the ocean from taking the sand out to the sea.
And, it was in the sixties in the Keys. While we were there, Tennessee, North Carolina and parts north were getting hit with a terrible snow storm. We had a lot of wind that made the temperatures feel brisk. As Northerners, we weren’t bothered, but the natives were going around in parkas.
So, my feet are technically in the sand, and you can see the ocean beyond them. I don’t think this is the picture Sis and I had in mind, but it was the best we could do under the circumstances. Next time, I’ll remember to take off the sandals! (grins)
Poinsettias
I have three poinsettias from this past Christmas hanging on. Normally I’m a sucker for conservative, traditional, RED poinsettias, but this year we happened to be at a greenhouse that had an incredible variety of them, and these two spoke to me.
I love the mixture of pink, red, cream and green on the one on the right, and the pink one with the white edges just shouts “Girly!” We bought red poinsettias in larger sizes and filled in with these smaller plants. I really enjoyed having the variety this year, and I plan to keep them as long as they are happy here.
Travels
Over the last week of February and the first week of March, Dear Husband and I spent ten days in Florida. We had really looked forward to getting away. DH needs to be spared from the Chicago area hard winters, given that he works construction, and each year he has the opportunity to play in the memorial golf tourney which is named for his son. This year, we flew in and spent the first four days in the Orlando area. We went to Disney with our granddaughters and their parents, and then, Sunday, we headed for the Florida Keys.
I’d never been further south than Cape Canaveral, or Siesta Key. It was roughly a five to six hour drive from Orlando to Key Largo, and we stopped halfway to refill the gas tank. DH must have felt we needed to refill our tanks too, because he stopped at a McDonald’s for lunch. We were getting ready to order when I realized that three sand hill cranes were walking across the lawn at the front of the building. Perhaps they needed to top off their tanks before beginning the trek north. I’m sure these birds were very clear that they could get hand outs at Mickey D’s.
We weren’t giving the handouts. In fact, we did not feed ANY wildlife while we were there, despite a lot of opportunity.
P.S. I didn’t get my bird book out to make sure I have the species right. If I’m wrong, I hope Bogie or Cop Car will set me straight.
Quilted Purses
I mentioned some time ago that I was working on quilted purses for my nieces. I finished them, and they were given as gifts late last year. I have a picture of one to show you. My niece has always been interested in frogs and things of that sort. I found an incredible fabric that had chameleons or newts on it, and bought it even though I didn’t have a project in mind.
I found a pamphlet with instructions for quilted totes, duffel bags, purses, and accessories, and figured that would be great for quick gifts. Unfortunately, what I didn’t stop to think about was that I was going to have to quilt the fabric, rather than using a pre-quilted fabric. Of course, I did it by machine, but it took me days to get it right. I needed to work out tension and the needle size to get my very ancient machine to cooperate. I ripped out a lot of stitches and re-did them, until I got them right. And having said that, the job was still that of a novice at machine quilting.
This is a picture of the bag I did for my frog-loving, artistic niece:
I did a similar purse for her older sister which was in red and black with gold Japanese calligraphy. She is very into anime (or was….I hope she still is), so that’s what helped me to design her purse. I may have a picture of her purse to share one day.
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
I’m between a rock and a hard place, as my mother used to say. Elegante Mother has been living with us for close to twenty years. We built a home big enough to provide some privacy for us all. EM had the suite of rooms across the front of the house. She was able to live her own life, but was close, so that we could help her when needed. Over the twenty years, we have gone from seeing her be totally independent, to needing assisted living. We saw her through surgery for colon cancer, and a year of chemotherapy. About five years ago, I became her chauffeur and social secretary and her chief cook and bottle washer, and last year I had to pick up the job of handling her finances. It has been a full-time job.
Last June, my mother had a seizure. She was hospitalized for five days, and then went to a nursing home for therapy. She returned to us in good physical shape, but her memory was failing. January 2, we’re pretty sure she had another seizure, and she was in the hospital, again, for five days, and then she went to a nursing home. She’s been in the nursing home close to two months, and she is desperate to get out. Again, she has come back physically, but her memory is worse than before.
There comes a time when you are caring for an aging parent, when you have to accept the fact that you can no longer be responsible for their care twenty-four hours a day. I’ve finally reached that point.
My siblings and I met Saturday to discuss what we could do for EM. My oldest sister, whom I affectionately refer to as “My Sister The Nurse” has final say in Mother’s care, but she has included us in the decision making process. She researched the options for care outside the home and brought the best of those choices to us. We visited the site, and agreed to go forward. Essentially, we are renting a lovely condo for Elegante Mother and installing her with a person who will be with her around the clock..
I’m sure you wonder what the difference is, whether she stays with me, or stays with a care giver, and it boils down to the fact that I have to work. All but one of my siblings are still working, and the one who has retired provides day care for her grandchildren, so none of us have the ability to be with EM every moment of the day. In fact, we contemplated the idea of bringing her home to us, and hiring a live in caregiver to help with EM, but my siblings voted down this idea.
Elegante Mother will now be living much closer to my two oldest sisters and brother, and it will be my turn to make the trips to see her. In a way, I’m relieved that we have made this decision, because I have come to hate the nursing home she is in. The financial bottom line for this place leads to under-staffing, and staff indifference. The food is absolutely disgusting, and the facility frequently smells bad. I don’t want this for my mother.
We have put a deposit on the condo. MSTN is going to confirm whether the caregiver we interviewed will take the job, and then I can arrange to have EM’s furniture moved Dear Husband spent the morning working out a scale model of the condo and her furniture and has a schematic for the movers ready to go! I’ll have to do some shopping to outfit the kitchen and we can make this happen.
It’s going to be a busy week. I think it’s also going to be a tough week. As I write, the tears are threatening to spill. I’m still not adjusted to Elegante Mother’s absence. I hope we have made the right decision, and this is the best we can do for her.
Sicko
I am so sick. I think that I’m getting better, but it just can’t happen fast enough.
Dear Husband and I managed to scrape together ten days when we could get away to Florida. He goes each year to golf in his oldest son’s memorial golf tournament. I went with him last year, and knew I was coming down with something on the way to the airport. I was sick the entire time, and he made me march up and down these gorgeous beaches on the Gulf coast. I really wanted to just sit, but I humored him, because he’s sure that you burn off the “cold” faster if you’re using more calories.
This year, we planned to spend the first four days with family. My step-daughter and her family had arranged to go to Disneyworld, and we agreed to go with to help wrangle the kids. Our youngest granddaughter had this terrible upper respiratory “thing,” but she was willing to play and smile, and gave minimal resistance to our wiping her eyes and nose. Two days later, her mother came down with the same thing. Two days later Dear Husband came down with it, too.
We were driving south to the Keys and he was sick. He hadn’t started the awful coughing yet, but he was achy and generally felt bad. We spent most of the afternoons last week, in beautiful, sunny, WARM, Florida, because we felt under the weather. I managed to stave it off until Thursday, the day before we were supposed to fly home, and the aches and sinus drainage and coughing started up.
I think maybe I should cross Florida off my list of places to visit in the future. (sigh)
We returned home about 1:30 or 2:00 in the morning on Saturday. I have been sick ever since, with terrible coughing. I’ve slept almost upright in my chair for the past three nights. Luckily, the doc gave me a prescription to help my ears, and Robitussin with codeine so I could get a little rest. I am SO ready for this to end, and people are telling me horror stories about it lasting a month.
I hope it clears up soon, so I can visit with my mother. It’s been more than two weeks since I saw her last, but I don’t want to risk giving her whatever this is.
Birds!
I was astonished and delighted to see our first heron yesterday, standing in the icy waters of a retention pond near our home. Then, today, I passed by a preserve that has been devoted to herons. I don’t know if it could be called a “rookery” or not, but this is a major breeding site in the Chicago suburbs, and the trees and man-made “masts” were covered with birds. YEA!!!!
While we were in Florida, we visited a bird refuge, and saw many of the heron and egret varieties that come to this area for the summer. They are simply beautiful birds! And, on our trip south I was able to get within twelve feet of three sandhill cranes. Dear Husband said that he saw some of them flying north today.
Yesterday, I looked out our kitchen window, toward the bird feeder a short while before dusk, and counted TWELVE male cardinals feeding. Of course, there were most likely twelve females, too, but it takes a little more careful searching to see them, since they blend in so very well.
My friend Cop Car, and her daughter Bogie, are much more informed birdwatchers than I am, but one day I may catch up to them. It’s a lovely hobby.
Contrary to Popular Opinion…
I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I’m yet livin….sorta. I have a ton of news to share with you all and pictures, too!
I spent the first three weeks in February trying to organize information for our personal taxes, and for Elegante Mother’s taxes. I spent a lot of time driving to the nursing home to visit with her, and see to her needs. I also tried to get all the bookkeeping done, so that at the end of the month I could go to Florida with Dear Husband.
Of course, I didn’t want to blurt out to the world that I was going to be away, even though Son #2 was going to be here. He kindly took on the duties of caring for Edward Scissorhands, watering the (indoor) plants and feeding the (outdoor) birds.
I’ve got to get some dinner pulled together, and then I’ll be back to share what’s been going on.
I hope you’ve all been well while I’ve been away.
Spring….can it be far away??
The Vermont Creed
I am a subscriber to “Cook’s Illustrated,” a magazine. The editor, Christopher Kimball, writes an opening page on life in Vermont. It has the feel of an east coast version of Lake Woebegone, and frequently has nothing to do with cooking. This month, he provides his version of the Vermont Creed: “Seen worse.” There are fourteen steps based on familiar sayings such as “Make Hay While the Sun Shines,” “Check the Weather,” and “Waste Not, Want Not.” The one which is resonating through me is “When You Don’t Know What To Do, Do the Work in Front of You,” which is apparently something President Calvin Coolidge was heard to say.
Every so often I feel so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things which need to be done, that I don’t know where to start. I’ll stare at my desk, knowing that I could enter bills, or pay them, or file, or fill out applications for credit. I could balance checkbooks, or respond to requests for information. In the rest of the house I could clean, do the dishes, make my bed, dust, reorganize the bookshelves, feed the birds, go out to weed or water, or God forbid! CLEAN THE BASEMENT!!
Sometimes it just seems difficult to decide where to start. I hate indecision. I know from past efforts that if I simply choose one activity and get started, that the rest will fall into place. I won’t get it all done in one day, but that’s the nature of being a homeowner, or a bookkeeper, or a housekeeper.
I like Nike’s logo: “Just Do It!” That’s amazing advice for everyone, not just those facing exercise. You start with one small step and the rest will fall into place. Think of it as “One small step for man..”
I’ve come to understand that clutter saps my attention. I accomplish more during the day if I start by making my bed and cleaning the kitchen. I’ve created a morning ritual designed to clear the decks and get me out the doors in time for exercise three mornings a week. It’s so satisfying, that I find myself waking early on the weekend, when I could sleep in, and those days when I ignore that routine, I’m likely to waste my time.
So, I guess I must have some Vermont in me, or perhaps I’m related to Calvin Coolidge. As Kimball points out, the upside to “Do the Work in Front of You,” is that even if things don’t turn out, you’ll have your chores done! *G*.
So, everyone say it with me: “When You Don’t Know What to Do, Do the Work in Front of You!”
Groveling
Oh, dear younger and wiser sister, you were right. Couscous is not so bad.
I served a Middle Eastern beef stew tonight, and it was ladled over couscous. Dear Husband liked it…better than he liked the stew.
So….I bow low before you and acknowledge that you knew better than I.
(Is that enough, or do I need to keep this up??)