I was recently reading about a woman who had been married for thirty-five years to a man who abused her. He broke her arm, her shoulder, her jaw and a couple of ribs.
I’ve read enough psychology to understand that there is a dynamic in that relationship that keeps her in place. But for the life of me I can’t understand why you would make excuses for, and stay with, a man who HURTS you!! I know that she believes she deserves this treatment, and that it’s HER fault he does these things, but what I can’t understand is why she didn’t get out after the first instance of abuse.She must have been trained as a kid that she was worthless to have lasted so long in a dreadful situation like this. I wonder if counseling is of any use at this point?
I know that when you are alone with a man who is in a rage, it’s not worth fighting back. I also know that many women put up with an attack to divert the man from hurting their children. But, once the attack is over, all you have to do is bid your time and walk away. Why are we not teaching our children to do that?
I have on-line friends in similar situations, and I do everything I can to encourage them to GET OUT!! I’m surprised that women’s groups haven’t been more successful in helping women out of these situations, or even better, putting an end to the attacks. I think that penalties for crimes against women are woefully light. If we could change the legislation, perhaps men would think first before they strike.
Have you ever helped someone put an end to abuse?
Category Archives: On the Soapbox
Prescrption Drugs Revisited
I was browsing blogs and came across the October 19th entry at StupidAngryCanajun titled “Back to Volcanic.” Go read. She’s covered the topic suscinctly and I totally agree! Greedy bastards!
Brava! Great post!
War is Hell
It’s been my policy to refrain from talking about the war. There are pundits out there who are infinitely better informed, who are also more eloquent on the subject. But recently a friend put up one of those counters that points out the cost of having gone to war, and I felt bitterly stung by it.
Personally, I felt that we had no business going to war, but I also believe that you support the choices made by your government. If my President says we needed to go to war, I have to trust that he had access to better information than do I. When I feel my President is wrong, I’m allowed to say so, and I am also allowed to work from within the system to try to elect someone more of my choosing.
What bothers me most of all is that no matter what we do now, we are the Ugly Americans. If we drop everything and walk away, we’ll be castigated for abandoning the Iraqis once again after having demolished their infrastructure. It doesn’t matter that Hussein did that very thing to his own people. WE are the bad guys.
If we stay and rebuild, we are accused of being greedy and being there for material reasons only. It doesn’t matter that Americans are loosing their lives to help the Iraqis. As fast as we try to rebuild, Iraqi splinter groups destroy, and WE are blamed for the situation.
I don’t wish to discuss this subject, because all the rhetoric in the world can’t change what has already happened, and I have yet to see anyone who can focus on the future and what should be done. It’s past time for countries which have had their hands out to the U.S. for years to understand that in return they are obligated to support us. You can’t call us greedy when we are supporting your economy, sending assistance in dozens of areas, and accepting your students in our universities.
I won’t argue that we have made mistakes. Personally, I’d like to see us pull back and do more at home for a while, but as long as Americans are putting their lives on the line on foreign soil, I will be supporting my country.
So, pardon me if you disagree, but this is MY chance to speak out.
What we think…
Today I was reading “Dear Abby” in the Chicago TRibune. A reader sent in the Four-Way Test of the things we think, say or do from Rotary International. The four questions to be asked are:
1. Is it the truth?
2. Is it fair to all concerned?
3. Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned.
Normally, I’d choose to follow these guidelines. I think they have a lot to say about good citizenship, and empathy for others.
But tonight, there’s not a chance I can put them in place. Did you see that jerk interfere with play last night at the Cub’s game? I’m astounded that Alou was able to control himself. I wouldn’t have! I’d have been climbing the wall to take him out!
The Cubs have gone SOooooo LONG without a winning season, and a FAN interferes with play. It doesn’t matter that he’s a good man, that he does wonderful things for kids, or that he’s a friend to all. He distrupted the play, broke the Cub’s concentration and opened the door to the Marlins wiping us off the field. He KNOWS the game, and should have known better! Asshat!
The best thing for all involved is for the Cubs to win tonight, and put this behind us!
How STUPID could they be?!
We were just watching the national news on T.V., and ABC reported that the Pentagon is selling off equipment that can be used to create biological weapons, such as incubators, and centrifuges. Equipment that the government purchased for $46,000 was sold for $4,100…..less than one tenth of the value.
The issue of cost burns me, but another issue sent me up in flames. It seems that they sold to anyone who contacted them on the Pentagon website. NO background checks were made. NO attempt was made to see where the equipment was going, despite the fact that it has been determined that some of the equipment has been resold in countries that harbor terrorists.
I MIND that my government is making such poor decisions in matters that affect my tax dollar and my safety. We count on the Pentagon to be there to protect us, and it seems our trust is unfounded.
Our Homeland Defense needs a bigger think tank. We not only have to work against threats from outside our borders, we have to work against stupidity within our ranks.
UPDATE 10/6/03, From CNN.Com:
“The GAO investigation was requested by the House Subcommittee on National Security, Emerging Threats and International Relations, which is a unit of the Government Reform Committee.”
“The subcommittee will hold a hearing on the matter Tuesday with testimony from Pentagon officials, GAO investigators and a chemical-biological weapons expert.”
It seems a large quantity of protective suits were sold, some of which were defective. These suits had been distributed to state and local law enforcement agencies and had been returned when they were found to be defective. THe suits should have been destroyed.
Back Packs
What’s with the flood of articles on kid’s back packs, lately? I’ve seen them in magazines, newspapers and on T.V. Is this just because the kids are back at school, or has there been some research recently about the danger to little spines?
Last Sunday, Bob Condor of the Chicago Tribune wrote about kids riding bikes to school. He felt it was a healthy physical activity, and it cut down on some of the traffic volume typical around schools. Readers wrote in to comment that they felt their children were unsafe on bicycles with the heavy backpacks. It’s too easy for them to shift, and cause a loss of balance.
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Okay, ladies! Listen up!
If you have not made your appointment for a mammogram, go do it NOW! October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The chances are good that your local facility is running a special on mammograms and you could save some money doing it during October.
If you are forty and have not had one, it’s time to get a baseline test. Some doctors will tell you that you only need one every other year until you are fifty, and then one a year. Others will tell you to get one every year. It varies from doctor to doctor. Be on the safe side and get it done. If you catch breast cancer early it can be controlled. Think of all you have to loose by putting it off.
Guys, if you love your wife or your daughters, remind them to get it done. Let them know you care about their health.
This comes under the category of being good to yourself. I know the test can hurt. I know that for some people it’s very embarrassing. BUT….it might save your life. GO DO IT!
Taxes
This came across my desk yesterday. My friend, QT, who sent it, told me the author is unknown. If you are the author, I’d be happy to give you credit for compiling this post.
Taxes
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
Capital Gains Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Court Fines (indirect taxes)
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax Interest expense (tax on the money)
Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Local Income Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Septic Permit Tax
Service Charge Taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Taxes (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Road Toll Booth Taxes
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone State and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Toll Bridge Taxes
Toll Tunnel Taxes
Traffic Fines (indirect taxation)
Trailer registration tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
COMMENTS: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was
the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely no national debt, had the
largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What the hell happened?
Pet Peeves
One of the blogs I manage was discussing pet peeves this week. When one of the members asked what our pet peeves were, I immediately thought of all the little irritating physical things that drive me crazy, like crunching ice, chewing gum with your mouth open, or picking your nose in public! There was a particularly funny set of posts about a mate who stuffed his wife’s head under the quilts and “fluffed the covers.” We amassed a long list of little things before one of the members said “bullies.”
Now, that’s REALLY a pet peeve, and so is lying. Another that bothers me is the person who can see that half a mile ahead he or she will have to merge into the next lane….and they FLY up that lane, and expect you to let them in.
All three of these things show insensitivity to others, and less than sterling ethics. Unfortunately, we have hordes of people who succumb to this behavior.
Another behavior that angers most people is interrupting someone who is speaking. I confess, I’m bad about this, and I really try not to do this. Apparently I’ve learned it from my family, who are almost all talkers and not much at listening. So far, I’ve noticed that my mother, my oldest sister and one of my nieces can talk right over whatever I’ve been saying. It’s not easy to teach yourself to be a listener when you’ve barged right in on others for years, but it’s well worth the effort to change the habit.
What frosts your cookies?
Homeland Security
By now most of you have read about ABC News importing depleted uranium from Jakarta in a test of our homeland defense. I have several thoughts on this subject.
First, Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge, has stated that shipments to the US are being checked in their ports of origin as our first line of defense. The idea is to make our ports the LAST line of defense. What I’d like to know is, why hasn’t the Dept. of Homeland Security tried to breach these defenses to see just how well the plan works? I can’t believe that they haven’t determined how thoroughly shipments are assessed prior to this.