This has been a really tough year. I feel like the Al Capp character who went around with a dark cloud over his head all the time.
I learned this week that one of my nieces has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
I know that medical research has made stunning inroads on breast cancer in my lifetime. I know there are a number of amazing new treatments available to my niece, and that she will get the very best care. I know that she has the love and support of her family, and of friends. I know she is a strong woman, and that she will make it through this. But I’m still scared for her.

There are times when you have to plan ahead to use leftovers. Dear Husband is not a huge fan of ham. We do one a couple of times a year, and he suffers in silence. Wednesday, when my niece and her boys were coming to dinner, I thought I would do a ham, so that DH didn’t have so many left overs to deal with.
Ham, scalloped potatoes, green beans, green salad and brownies. Something for everyone.
I planned two meals for the left overs.

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This afternoon about an hour before the sun went down, I partially filled the bird feeder. I had forgotten to do it this morning when we returned from exercise. I knew that if I filled the feeder I would get to watch the cardinals.
For most of December we had four pairs of cardinals. I was fretting about the low number, but I knew that there were a lot of feeders throughout the neighborhood to the west of us, so I thought that the cardinals were just spread out a bit thin.
I was pleased to be able to count seven male cardinals this evening. It was interesting to see the pecking order going on. For the most part the cardinals will play nicely with other birds but insist on a pecking order within their own group.
As the light faded I could see the male cardinals flitting back and forth from their perches in the shrubs, but it was a lot more difficult to pick out the female cardinals, with their protective coloration. They blended right into the shrubbery, as they are meant to.
I don’t know if the cardinal count will climb at all, but I plan to continue putting out a mix that will draw them.

I visited Blue Witch’s blog tonight and came across this quote by Anthony Trollope:
“And above all things, never think that you’re not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning.”
I was taken by the last sentence, and asked Dear Husband if he agreed with Trollope. Without hesitation, he said yes.
We didn’t discuss it any further, but it’s been lurking in the back of my mind. It seems to me that the average person behaves as he perceives himself. I agree with Trollope’s advice, but I think his caution should have been not to let others color your opinion of yourself.
I know a number of people who describe themselves as “blue-collar” workers, or “grunts,” or even “mushrooms.” “Peons,” “serfs,” general dog’s-bodies”…..there are all sorts of names, most of which are not fit for polite company, that are used to identify people who are not in a position of power. Generally, those terms are negative in connotation. How does a person who has been labled with one of these terms preserve a positive view of himself?
I am one of those people who believes that you can be a success at any job. While money is nice, it isn’t everything. The quality of your work, and your commitment to your work is more important to me, whether you are a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or the man running carts at the local grocery store.
Usually the person who makes less money is thought of in more negative terms. Money frequently equates to power and status. In our material age, how do you disregard class attitude to live a happy life? If you have to work at a job you don’t care for to be able to put food on the table, how does that affect your sense of self?
I don’t have the answers, just the questions. Here’s one more. Do you suppose Trollope was contemplating Will Shakespeare, who said: “This above all: to thine own self be true…” ?

I steeled myself tonight, and admitted a long time aversion. Dear Husband was watching a show about dirty jobs. I asked, “WHY, do you enjoy that.” He said it was because it was about jobs that he wouldn’t want to do. “So WHY do you watch it?”
I never did get a good answer.
DH will watch virtually anything science. He loves the programs that guess about the creation of the universe, or about probes and satellites we’ve sent into outer space. He likes archeology, and geology, and those goofy programs where college kids are given a bag of parts or limitations and told to go forth and create the winning machine.
He LOVES old WWII movies. We tuned in to one where they were landing planes on an aircraft carrier, with Robert Taylor and Walter Pigeon. We’ve seen enough of these movies to be able to write one, so I started calling out the possibilities…..his tire is going to fall off on landing, he’s going to overshoot the mark and hit the other planes, he’s going to hit the tower, he’s going to go over the edge into the drink. And finally…..the SHARKS will get him.
I am sick unto death about SHARK SHOWS!! We ALL know how dangerous sharks are, yet there must easily be 24 documentaries showing a photographer being slooooowwwwly lowered into the water in a cage while some jerk drops shark bait around him. It’s no surprise the shark tries to chew through the cage to get at the man photographing him. Men seem to be fixated on sharks and their danger, and I have to tell you ladies and gentlemen, I have an aversion to shark shows!
I can deal with the science shows, and I’ll sit through all the WWII movies, but we’ve seen our last shark show.
Buffy’s Blacklist
1. SHARK SHOWS!

Dear Husband received a mailer about two weeks ago from his doctor. The doctor was requesting that his patients attend a meeting about a new form of health care. We didn’t have a clue what was coming, but we signed up to attend the two hour meeting.
Dear Husband came home early to change and we drove to one of the local hotels, and found places at the back of the auditorium. DH’s doctor, and another doctor got up to speak. Each of them talked about their schooling, their families, their personal interests, and their hopes for the future. And then they told us about a management association called MDVIP that they are going to join.
Two startling facts came out. Each of the doctors will have a maximum of 600 patients in the future. And each of those patients will have to pay $1500 ANNUALLY for the privilege of being one of those 600. Ostensibly, that $1500 is for an annual physical. The physical is fairly extensive, and the purpose is to give the doctors information to help the patient create a life plan to prevent disease. Any other office visits would be covered by the patient’s personal health insurance.
Dear Husband has a deductible on his health insurance of $1,000. So, he will start the year owing $2500 for health care and maintenance, plus 20% of any additional charges.
The doctors painted a glowing picture of the additional time they would be able to take with each patient. No more 15 minute visits with sick people. Instead, they would be able to spend as much as an hour, or more, with people who want to take control of their lives and stay healthy!
The doctors could look forward to fewer late night calls from the emergency room, and fewer hours doing rounds at the hospital, because their patients would be healthy! And, because these two doctors had decided to go into this form of management together, each of them could look forward to a three week vacation each year, and a week for professional improvement, as they cover for each other.
They painted a glowing picture of the triangle of MDVIP, the hospital, and themselves. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear anything about the patient in this presentation.
The doctors talked about obscene malpractice costs. They talked about having 2200 to 2400 patients depending upon each of them, and how much they would miss those of us who chose not to sign up. They studiously avoided talking about the 1800 people they were setting loose on the other doctors in this area, those 1800 who are ill and can’t afford the additional cost, or who don’t sign up in time to be one of the 600.
At one point, I thought, “Yeah….this might be a good thing, especially if you have an ongoing problem and want the old-fashioned kind of doctoring, where you were given information and advice and kept abreast of current research.” And I can understand that these men want to have a life.
But, when I step back and look at it, it just feels greedy to me. It’s one more LARGE fee to get the kind of care we should already be getting.
Our health care system is broken, and someone needs to take responsibility to fix it. I don’t think we will be continuing with this doctor. Would you?

Dear Husband is home early today. I just gave him a lesson in how to find his AOL account through the Internet. It’s scary to teach him computer things. He never forgets what you’ve taught him, and he builds on it. Soon, I expect him to take over the world.
I discovered last night that my youngest sis has been communicating with Cop Car. They’ve been finding out how much they have in common, which didn’t surprise me at all. Now I know why both of them have been so quiet! *G*
I thought I had to take the cat to the vet today. I’m so glad I called to confirm the time of the appointment, because I would have been there a week early! It’s time for his annual physical.
It’s raining snow! We have this fine white stuff raining down. Nothing is accumulating. We’re right on the edge of the temperature for snow, and by the time it touches the ground, it melts. It looks a bit foggy outside. A gray squirrel was just checking his stash outside my window. He looked, made sure something was there, and then nicely patted everything back in place.
We resumed exercise today. This is the last week of this session, so we managed to miss almost all of it. It was interesting to note how well the class was doing with the steps. When we saw them last, the choreography was new to them, and there were a lot of pauses and missteps. Today, they were all in step and made it look easy. There were a lot of hugs and welcomes. These people are like family to me.
I’m going to go play with quilt blocks. I meant to get more done yesterday, but somehow balancing the checkbook interfered. Darned paperwork!

In the January, 2006 edition of the National Geographic magazine, on page 30, there is a chart that you need to see. It’s titled “Century of Death,” and it shows how mass murder has been a recurring tool used against political, ethnic, and religious groups. Thirty-five countries are listed as having used mass murder as a means to control their populace during the past century.
I’m not suggesting that mass murder is new to the world as of the 20th century. I’m simply responding to statistics that National Geographic magazine has provided for the years 1900 to 2005. The figures I am going to share with you are the high estimates of total death. We’ll never have the exact figures because those who perpetrate this heinous behavior don’t tend to keep records or brag about it.
By far, the largest perpetrators of genocide have been Germany (11,400,000), Japan (10,000,000), the U.S.S.R. (20,000,000) and China (30,000,000). The figures for the USSR span the period from 1920 to 1953, which is the longest period of murder. China’s killing took place in three episodes, with the largest number of people being murdered during the “Great Leap Forward.” Together, these four countries account for SEVENTY ONE MILLION-FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND deaths.
With the exception of Namibia (75,000) and Turkey (1,500,000), all the rest of the murders have taken place between 1965 and 2005. Twenty-nine countries have chosen to wipe out parts of their populations. I was curious about the breakdown by area, and took the time to extrapolate information from the chart.
The largest number of people killed has been in Africa: 7,809,000. Following that, the area from Pakistan to the Philippines comes in second with 6,505,000. The number killed in the Middle East comes to 3,090,000. In South and Central America, 290,000 have been killed, and Bosnia and Yugoslavia account for another 235,000. The rough total for these killing sprees in the second half of the 20th century is EIGHTEEN MILLION PEOPLE! And we consider ourselves enlightened.
The chart and these numbers are too sterile to grasp the horror of the killing. Men have said, “We’re going to kill you because we CAN.” Mothers with babies, teenagers, old men and women, no one escaped these killing sprees. Either you are with us, or you are against us. If you’re not with us, we’ll do our best to wipe you out.
For the most part, the world does not step in to stop this killing. Not one major power in the world acted to save the Tutsis when the Hutus went on a killing spree in 1994. It seems to me that the United Nations is ineffectual at stopping violence of this nature, and having a super power step in to monitor the country doesn’t work any better. And none of this addresses the problem of finding out about the murders after the fact.
If a county is going to participate in genocide, I’d like for that country not to be subsidized by my tax dollars. I’d like for us to not trade with them, or have any contact with them.
It would be nice if we lived in a black and white world, where you could make laws and know that justice was meted out properly. I know that China is responsible for the largest amount of genocide in the past 50 years, and China wants preferable status with us as a trading partner. I also know that China has more people than the U.S. has, and is going to be the super power to watch in the coming decades, as it flexes it’s military and economic muscles. I know that our diplomats are already treading carefully around China. I don’t believe that we have the power to stop them, should they decide they need to remove more political dissidents. It’s wrong to let them think we don’t care, when they kill.
I understand that there aren’t any easy solutions to the subject of genocide, but it needs to end. We need a statesman who can unite us toward that goal. Perhaps as we become a global economy we will see the opportunity to put an end to genocide.
And, perhaps I am a dreamer.

Yesterday, as we were driving home from a visit to Dear Husband’s daughter and her family, we saw the most amazing flock of birds. I can’t tell you what kind of birds they were, except to say that they were dark (black looking against a gray, rainy sky), and seemed to be larger than sparrows.
There were two flocks, and the flocks were immense! I’ve never seen so many birds together in one place. They flew in groups that were about as wide as four or five lanes of highway, and perhaps a block, or more than a block, long. The birds were tightly packed together and moved like a school of fish. There was no way to determine who was in charge of the groups, but one of them had to be calling out directions, because they definitely were playing follow the leader.
One of the flocks headed for the phone lines, and barely a quarter of the birds were down when the lines were covered around the intersection with birds sitting shoulder to shoulder. The other group headed for a very old tree, and several trees nearby, and the trees came alive with the rustling birds.
It looked like the birds were practicing migration maneuvers, but it seems a bit early to be migrating. And, I don’t recall ever seeing such a large group of birds migrating together. It makes you wonder what they eat, because there couldn’t be enough feed available for two groups this size this time of year.
It was quite a sight! I couldn’t help commenting about Hitchcock’s “The Birds.” The flocks above us put those in the movie to shame.

We’ve had 29 straight days of weather warmer than the norm. Thursday it was FIFTY degrees, and Friday it was in the forties.
Tonight it’s snowing. We expect to get three to six inches before it stops early Saturday morning.
There’s so much light from our city reflected off the snow that I can turn off the lights and find my way around the house without a problem. Each branch is covered with fluffy snow, and looks absolutely gorgeous, and they are predicting it won’t last more than a day.
We might as well enjoy it while we can. Anybody for a snowball fight??