In so many ways, the title of my blog has hit home over the past ten days. As many of you know, my Dear Husband is an avid sailor. He has a 32-foot sail boat moored in one of Chicago’s harbors and between May 15 and October 15 he spends as much time on the boat as possible. I do not do well on small boats. I tend to put my foot on the deck, and turn green. A moment later, I’m checking out the path to the head, or hanging on to the side of the boat as I heave. I just wasn’t meant to be on small boats. I’ve named my blog in honor of the boat, the “Arr!!”
The past ten days or so it seems that a black cloud has been following the captain of the Arr!! He took off for what was to be a three day weekend on the boat. He needed to stop at Crowley’s to pick up a part for the diesel engine, which had developed a leak. Crowley’s is clear down at the south end of Lake Michigan, near Calumet City. Shortly after picking up the part, DH stopped for a hot dog, and when he tried to start the car….nothing happened. He managed to find a towing company, and a recommendation to someone who might be able to look at the car. (Note….tow number one)
The mechanic finally got the car running, but told DH he would need to have more work done on it. DH started home. Halfway through the trip he realized the battery wasn’t charging, so he left the tollroad. The idea was, that he would be more accessible if the car quit on him. Sure enough….it did. He called and had it towed to our preferred mechanics. (Note….tow number two)
I needed to use our car on Saturday morning, to meet my sister and Mother at the Farmer’s Market and then go on to lunch. Dear Husband joined us. I thought he might take my car to go to the lake on Saturday afternoon, but he chose to be a couch potato, and let a storm front move through. The mechanics called Saturday afternoon to say the car was ready to go.
Sunday morning, early, I drove DH to pick up the car. Before we parted, I kissed him and kiddingly said…”If you have any trouble with the car or the boat, find a hotel and register…..don’t call me!”
You guessed it. About two hours later he called and asked me which hotel in Westmont I wanted him to check into. He was probably twenty minutes from home. He’d stopped to pick up things for breakfast and lunch on the boat, and when he returned to the car it wouldn’t start. (Note….tow number three.)
The repair guys had a go at the car and it seems to be working. I think we scared it with discussion of whether it was time to turn it in for cash, and buy a newer car that got better mileage. DH voted to wait a bit. This car has been pretty darned good, and I think if you averaged the expense of maintaining it out over the years we’ve had it, it’s been a reasonable expense. Of course, I’ll worry every time DH heads for the lake. I don’t have the cost of the three attempts to repair the car, or the cost of the three tows yet. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be a happy camper.
What I hope is the final straw in this saga came yesterday. Dear Husband came home and told me that he’d had to have the BOAT TOWED!. He was outside the harbor when his propeller became fouled with a line. He had to call a marine towing company because the swells were four feet high…..too high for another pleasure craft to risk giving him a tow. The man running the tow boat said that he keeps diving gear on the boat just to be able to clear fouls like this, but with the boat heaving up and down so much he wouldn’t risk getting into the water. We could have made a house payment with the cost of this particular tow.
I’ll admit that I didn’t take this particular news with good grace. I probably reined in my temper when I saw the bruise on Dear Husband’s arm. His left bicep is black and blue. He was hurt somehow when trying to free the anchor before the boat was towed. I’d like to take an ax to the boat’s hull, and end all this business of boating, but common sense (and love for my husband) has prevailed. If he were to ask me to give up quilting, I’d be devastated. Just because I’m here in the house when I quilt, doesn’t mean that I am particularly good company. I’m distracted, and want periods of uninterrupted time to work out designs and piece them together. Dear Husband helped me to care for my mother for the past 20 years, and he’s earned the right to do what pleases him. I just wish that I’d never heard the definition of a boat: “A Hole in the Water into which you throw large amounts of money!”.
After I’ve had a little time to let off steam on this, we’ll be okay. Of course, I’m worried about making ends meet in this economy. I worry about retirement, which is coming MUCH faster than I like….especially in this economy. I worry about grandkid’s college funds, and I worry about my husband’s safety. I suppose mostly I worry about his safety. Please God….keep him safe on his travels, and …No more tows!

To my friends who are frequent commenters:
I have tried to give you the ability to post without needing my approval, but you all know that I am technologically challenged. Either MT or my computer requires that I approve comments for some of you.
If you don’t see your comment posted in a timely manner, I apologize. I’ve read it, in my e-mail, and enjoyed it, and then blithely gone my way, forgetting that others couldn’t read what you had to say.
Thank you for posting, and for keeping in touch with me. I really value your friendship.

I am having a slow, lazy, procrastinating day. I cannot motivate myself. I know if I get up from this chair I will find twenty things that NEED to be done. If I stay in this chair, and turn away from the computer there will be another gross of things to be done in the office. I don’t want to do any of it. But I will… I think I’m going to start by putting the whites in the dryer, and then going out to work in the garden for an hour or two.
This morning, in the comments at L.A.Times Crossword Corner blog, one of the readers posted the parable of Leshon HaRa (I think I have that right.). Essentially it’s the story which shows that harsh words, once spoken, can never be taken back. When I was in fifth grade, I had an amazing teacher, and she stopped one day to share this lesson with us. I was left with an image of harsh words, like musical notes, flying from my mouth, never to be recaptured. That image has stayed with me lo these many years. I truly try to muzzle myself when I’d really rather speak my mind. I don’t always succeed, but I’ve gotten better at it. In the parable, the rabbi tells the unkind person, who wishes to repent, to open a feather pillow and shake out all the feathers. When he has, the rabbi tells him to now collect each of the feathers and put them back in the pillow. When he objects, and says it is an impossible job, the rabbi likens it to trying to take back harsh words.
There are too many harsh words in the world. Just too many. I believe that we have shifted from people who care about their community, to people who only care for themselves, and I hope that pendulum swings back, soon!
This same fifth grade teacher also talked one day about intentions. She said intentions were good, as long as you follow through on them. Otherwise, the best of intentions is worthless. I recall that she used this example: “I was going to take the garbage out.” She made her point in a way that suited a ten year old mind, and stuck!
My intentions for the day are to make my bed, empty and refill the dishwasher, start another load of laundry, water the inside plants, and the outside plants, work in the gardens, and work in the office. I also have to take Ed for a vet visit, this afternoon.
So, I’m going to sign off, and wish you a wonderful Monday, while I go turn intentions into gold.

That dreaded nap time has hit again. I have too much to do to take a nap right now! I’m just coasting a bit until I’m ready to get back to work.
Frankie is coming in tonight for a short stay. We have always wanted to take a class at Sur La Table, and things have worked out just right that we can do TWO this summer. We’re going to start tomorrow night with a class on knife techniques. I have a collection of Wusthoff knives that I love, and if there are better ways to use them, I’m all for learning about it. Besides, I get to hang out with Frankie!
Tomorrow, my CPA is coming to work on the quarterly reports for the companies. I used to do these on my own, but once we went to computerized books, she began to do the forms. I use the time to ask how to correct problems on the computer, and learn a little more basic bookkeeping. It’s a relief to know that the government forms are done correctly. I have never liked the thought of being responsible for errors that could cost money.
I’m not sure what else Frankie and I will do while she is here. I expect to have a “girl’s night in” dinner, tonight. Dear Husband is going to be away. We might watch a movie, or go to bed early enough that we can get a really early start on the day tomorrow. Frankie has to go home early on Thursday because it’s her oldest daughter’s birthday.
Which reminds me….I need to shop for a card….
So, I’m going to clean off my desk, to be sure that I am ready for the CPA, and my sis, and I’ll catch up with you all (y’all) in a few days. Have a good week!

This past week I have been the guest leader of our exercise class. Our guru, Lynda, has become a grandma again, and she wanted to have a week with her daughter and grandchildren. I’m always pleased when she asks me to sub. It’s the closest I get to teaching these days. She first asked me to sub three years ago when her parents became seriously ill. She gave me the music for the class, and a list of the exercises she was doing during each song. I spent a long weekend counting out the beats of the music, to determine how many times we needed to repeat the movements. I copied that information onto large sheets of poster board, in what I call my personal “cheat sheets.”
We have upgraded exercise since then. We’re working harder and a little bit faster. Lynda discovered that we old folk are capable of doing more than she expected, so she has added more yoga and balance to the sessions. When I use this older set of exercises, we are all aware that it’s a bit less challenging. I’m at the point where I will have to spend another weekend counting out music and exercises and making another set of cheat sheets to upgrade the level of effort.
I was pleased that Monday’s exercise went well. Wednesday the room was full! Most of the class of forty turned out. Today, I thought we might be lucky to have six or eight people come to class since it was the start of the long holiday weekend. I didn’t stop to count, but I think we may have had about 26 people in class, and they were all there to work!
I feel blessed that my fellow exercisers are willing to have me lead the class, and further blessed that they make it so easy to guide them. I’ve really enjoyed the week. There were a couple of unexpected benefits. I’ve had some knee problems that are just beginning to improve. When I was leading class, I forgot to baby the knee, and I discovered that I could do more than I expected. And, when I lead class, I tend to work harder, so I got more benefit from the exercise than usual. I’ve felt really good all week!
So….Thank you, Lynda, for inviting me to sub for you. It was MY pleasure!

Yup, I’m yet livin’! I’ve been busy, but no busier than most of you. I’ve had a flurry of obligations followed by the calm of low tide.
I made a two day trip to Iowa, with my sister, Frankie, of Just My Opinion. It was a voyage of remembrance for me, and one of discovery for her. Our grandparents and their children lived in Iowa. My sister had heard stories of “the farms” all her life, and it was time for her to go see them, and get to know those who farm them better. I enjoyed the trip down memory lane, seeing the houses where my aunt and grandparents lived, and the house where my father was raised. I was astounded by the generosity of everyone we met in Iowa. They were generous with their time, their information, their smiles, and concern. This was perhaps the best quick trip I have ever made! Thank you, Iowans!
Monday, just past, I was scheduled for an insurance audit. I was prepared, but just to be on the safe side, I skipped exercise to be sure that everything was ready. Eleven o’clock came and went with no auditor at my door. By 11:22 I called, to see if she was lost and needed directions. No answer. I have still not received a return call. I believe a letter to the company is warranted.
I’ve started a new quilt top. I have a small wall-hanging-size quilt that is bands of four patches on point alternated with strips of solid fabric. I have it folded into quarters and Ed, the cat, lays on it when I am at the computer in the living room. I’ve always loved that little quilt and decided to make a larger version of it. True to form, I may be making two larger quilts. I started cutting up scraps and ends of small pieces of fabric before I had the design planned out. Of course, now I have more squares than I need for one quilt, so I may put together two to use up all the cut pieces. Pictures to come, sooner or later.
I have a great deal of weeding to do. I thought I was going to have help from a grandnephew, but that’s fallen through. I’m going to try to work tomorrow morning while it’s still cool, and the sun is not overhead. I may even work at it this evening once the gardens are in the shade of the house. If I can’t keep up with the weeding, I may see if my favorite landscaping company can give me a couple of hours. I’m going to have two willow trees planted this summer, so perhaps they can do it then.
Our exercise guru’s daughter gave birth to her second baby recently. Lynda will be going to spend a week or so with them, and I’ve been invited to take over the class next week. I need to spend a little time reviewing the music and the moves and create a new cheat sheet, if necessary, before Monday morning. I really enjoy working with the class, and they seem to be willing to have me lead them.
Thank you notes. I have a stack of thank you notes I need to write. Frankie puts me to shame with her beautiful, hand-written, notes. I think I’ll print up a list of the notes I owe, and do a few now and then through out the day. This is one obligation I really want to get done!
I finally stopped at the local upholstery place to start looking at fabric samples. Of course, I’ve waited so long that the color I want, spruce green, is no longer available. There is a sea of moss, tarragon, sage, basil or even lime green to be had. I think the people who choose what colors will be offered each year must have been very hungry. I had originally planned to have two chairs and an ottoman done in a solid green, but now that I think about it, It might be a better idea to have a chair and the ottoman done in a floral print, and then have the couch and loveseat done in a solid green. There are SO many variables, it makes my head swim. And this is going to be done piecemeal, so I can’t just order everything at one time, which makes it even harder. This is one chore I’m not enjoying.
I have finally repotted three plants that have been waiting for months for just a little dirt! Two plants for my bathroom, and a geranium that I wintered over are now the proud possessors of new homes! There’s a plant in the green room that needs to be killed off. It’s grown oddly and can no longer get enough food and moisture from the pot it’s in. It’s too leggy to save, so I’m going to have to do the unthinkable and cut it up. There is also a euphorbia, that I’m going to take cuttings from. This plant has grown so well that it can’t hold itself up in the little pot that holds the roots. Luckily, it’s an easy plant to propagate, so I’m going to get new pots and soil, and get started on that. I think I may give one to my Mother.
And the last bit of news…I cut off half my hair. I walked into the salon for my appointment and said….”Shave my head!” My hairdresser smiled, and said, “We can do that.” I back tracked a bit, and we compromised on cutting all of the lower length, and most of the sides. Now, I look a bit more like my sisters, who all have short hair. I don’t think it was a mistake, but if it is, it will always grow back.
I hope you’re all having a good day, and wish you the best for the weekend!

It’s a brilliant Sunday in Buffyland. We had rain Friday night and a good part of Saturday, and it’s perfect weather today to be working in the gardens. I’m going out very shortly, but I wanted to blog first.
Have you ever done something with the best of intentions and had it turn around and bite you? I get into that position now and then. My people skills have never been the best, and I rarely know what someone is thinking. I can put my foot in my mouth with the best of ’em, and I did…with one of my siblings. Another of them counseled me to let it go, and stop “looping.” It was good advice. There’s no point in wallowing in it. I might as well get on with life!
So, it fascinated me that an on-line friend had run into a very similar problem. The advice I had been given was perfect for her, too, and I shared it. Was this a coincidence? Pre-destination? Fate? I haven’t any idea, but I’m glad that I had a little growth spurt and was able to share it. *S*
Dear Husband is off boating. Second Son is at a convention. Edward Scissorhands and I are on our own for the weekend, and it’s been very quiet, but fun. I finished a ton of filing in the office (of course there’s more to be done), and read for a bit. I went to see “Angels and Demons” last night (a good pot boiler, that was fairly faithful to the book.). I’m going to play in the gardens for a bit, and then do a little grocery shopping. And then, I’m going to start making four-patches for a new scrap quilt! Yea! It isn’t often that there are so few demands on my time. I better take advantage of it!
Monday and Tuesday I will be traveling to Iowa and back with my youngest sister. This is a trip for her to see places that we have all talked about but she was too young when she was there to remember. My grandparents lived in Des Moines at the time Frankie was born. I can remember that she slept in a dresser drawer when we visited the summer after her birth. *G* So….we’re going off on a memory trip.
I hope you all enjoy a relaxed Sunday, and have a great start to your week!

For Bod, who asked about my mention of golf balls in the following post.
My niece has just graduated from high school. She is the youngest of my mother’s grandchildren, so Elegante Mother and I made the trip to Indiana to attend the ceremony.
We were seated toward the front of the gymnasium, near the raised area the graduates cross to receive their diplomas. There are a number of dignitaries seated behind a table, a teacher who reads the names of that row of students, the Superintendent of Schools, the President of the Board of Education, and the High School principal. The students shake the hand of each person who is standing, receive the diploma case, and leave the risers. While we were sitting there, I saw a golf ball fly across the floor. I laughed about it, but it was neatly palmed by one of the seniors, and I didn’t think about it any further.
When we got home, I mentioned the golf ball to my niece, and she told us that each of the seniors had carried a golf ball with them into the gym. Somehow, despite the girls wearing incredibly high heels, and the boys having to learn to negotiate stairs in a graduation gown, they managed to get onto the stage, cross to and shake hands with the Superintendent and President of the Board of Education, and accept their diplomas without dropping the golf balls.
The last person they were to shake hands with was the Principal. Apparently, as they shook hands, they palmed the golf ball off on him, and beat it for the stairs! R.L. told me that he must have been on to them, because he would shake hands, get the golf ball, pitch it behind him (I assume into a box), all without giving a hint of what was going on.
Frankly, this was the kind of prank you hope for, rather than something that would impede the progress of the commencement. I went to three of my step-children’s high school graduations, which were out of doors, and beach balls batted from row to row were a popular diversion in that era.
I’m sure there are loads of variations on this story. It was a gentle giggle, something that did no harm, and gave the graduating class something to share at reunions in the future.

Our trip to Indiana was spectacular!
We had a good trip down. I tried a slightly different route, and we stopped for a meal in Watseka, Illinois. We lucked out and chose an American/Mexican diner for lunch, and received exceptional service. Elegante Mother likes to drink iced black coffee. I don’t know why that seems so odd, but we tend to have a lot of difficulty getting it right. The waitress brought what we wanted in a styrofoam cup, and I asked her if she would pour the contents into a regular glass with more ice and a straw. She did….it was perfect, and she seemed to be right in tune with our needs from then on. We had a great meal, and I made sure the waitress knew it!
We arrived at Frankie’s home around four o’clock, and made our way up the hill, into the house, to sit in the family room which has windows on three sides. We were able to enjoy all the plantings, and the trees, and the deck, and most of all, the family.
Frankie’s oldest daughter was home from college, and she and Frankie were still hip deep in organizing things for the party. The graduate was making the icing for a Texas brownie, and the house smelled wonderful. After dinner we sat together for a bit, catching up, before we headed off to bed early. Frankie had one last project to finish for her daughter and was up until 2:00!
Graduation day bloomed bright and sunny. It was a perfect day. Commencement was brief and to the point, and nicely organized. One hundred and forty young men and women were recognized, and comported themselves with grace (and golf balls for the principal) as they received their diplomas. There were lots of hugs and kisses, and not a few tears. Lots of pictures, too. I hope I’ll be able to explain to Frankie, how to post some of them on her blog, Just My Opinion.
The family pulled together to prepare fruit, veggie, cheese, and salami plates, and assorted nibbles in beautiful array. I confess…..the Texas brownie drew me in several times. The open house ran from four o’clock to well past seven, even though the invitations said 4 to 6. Teachers, church friends, neighbors and schoolmates, all came to celebrate! It was lovely. Elegante Mother and I sat out on the deck and chatted with family, enjoying the perfect day. EM had not had a nap Friday OR Saturday, so while I pushed us back and forth in the glider, she had a little snooze.
When the last of the guests had left, and Frankie’s oldest daughter had said her goodbyes, we sent Frankie off to bed. She deserved some rest! We followed very shortly.
Sunday, we had breakfast together, Frankie’s famous baked French toast casserole! Frankie’s husband had to go off to work. R.L., the graduate, showed me her new computer, and showed me her play lists for her iPod. She introduced me to Michael Buble several years ago, and I, in turn, introduced Elegante Mother to him on he trip to Indiana. R.L. has ALL his CDs!
Frankie made French onion soup for us (It seems it was a French kind of day…) and it was time to go. Neither of us really wanted to leave, but it was going to be a long trip home, so Frankie helped us to pack up and we were on our way.
Elegante Mother was awake the entire way home. I could tell she was saddened when she realize that I was going to return her to her new home. It’s very difficult for me to cope with that separation. Her memory is so short these days, she can not keep in mind why she needs round the clock assistance.
The good of this trip……Mother communicated more. She was happy, and pleased to be among people she remembered and loved. She enjoyed getting out and seeing new things, and we challenged her to be more physically active.
For my part….I have some more memories to squirrel away. I’ll be able to see my Mother interacting with Frankie’s family, and sharing memories we thought she had lost. I’ll be able to remember seeing Frankie’s family together. As the girls go off to college, that will happen less frequently. R.L. is the last of EM’s grandchildren to graduate from high school. It’s a blessing that we were able to make the trip.
And…next year, two of EM’s GREAT-grandchildren graduate from college. I hope we’ll be able to build more happy memories.
The trip was wonderful. No….it was SPECTACULAR!

Friday morning, I’m going to collect Elegante Mother and we are taking a road trip. We’re going to Indiana to see EM’s youngest grandchild graduate from high school. I’ve been running errands today to try to clear the path so that we can get on the road by 10:00 a.m.
I’ll need to get to her condo early so that I can pack a bag for her, and be sure she is comfortably dressed for the ride. I expect the trip to take at least four hours
I have a waiver to type, and plants to water, clothes and dishes to wash. I want to leave the house in reasonably tidy shape. Second Son is going to keep an eye on my old feline buddy, Edward Scissorhands. I’m sure he will do just fine without me.
When we return, I hope to get the last of the planting done, and some more weeding. Wish me luck and a safe journey!