For those of you who have a significant other, have you noticed a drop in the time you spend together?
When we first find someone we are attracted to, we make getting to know that person our main interest. We spend a lot of time together learning about each other. If that person is destined to become our significant other, the interest continues for some time. We WANT to do things together.
Unfortunately, most couples are not able to sustain that level of togetherness. Jobs and families intervene and our time becomes limited.
With a little effort and commitment, it’s possible to carve out a time that allows you to focus on each other. Choose one day of the week and set a specific time aside that is just for the two of you.
Have a quiet dinner together, and go for a walk or a hike. If you like art, visit a different gallery each week. Take a boat ride, or window shop. If you are able to get away for an entire weekend each month, plan to visit different places.
If you have children, it’s even more important that you have this time for yourselves. If you can’t afford a baby sitter, work out a swap with friends. You take their kids for one night, and they’ll take yours for the next. Or, ask your parents if they would spell you for an evening a week.
When you go out, choose activities that allow you to interact. A movie is fine now and then, especially if you go to a pub afterwards to discuss what you saw, but it’s better to plan situations where you can talk.
Talk about everything: how you feel, what you learned that day, where you hope to be in five years, whether you like your job. Keep the bond that was there at the start. Let your friendship be the base that supports your love.
I know that you all lead busy lives, and that you think you can set your relationship on the back burner and come back to it later, “when I have more time.” Trust me. That’s a bad choice. Maintaining your relationship is more important than laundry, or grocery shopping. It’s as important as going to church, seeing to your children’s health, and earning a living.
Simplify your life, and focus on those things that are really important. Toss the chaff out. Look at the situation from this perspective: If you were suddenly told that you only had a year to live, wouldn't you want to spend quality time with the person you love? What are you waiting for?
Have you said “I love you” today?
Comments (7)
...so I'm trying to spend my usual quality time with the one I love...but my wife seems to be fed up with me watching the tv??...what should I do???...
Posted by billy | August 17, 2003 12:11 PM
Posted on August 17, 2003 12:11
Which one do you love, the TV or Caro? If it's your dear and lovely wife, roll over, look at her longingly, and if she doesn't laugh in your face, ditch the TV. (Oh, to be a mouse in the wall at your house!)*G*
Posted by Buffy | August 17, 2003 2:04 PM
Posted on August 17, 2003 14:04
...errrr...the expression is 'a fly on the wall' over here...mainly 'cos if you was a mouse the cats would have you :^)...and I have found that whenever I "roll over and tell cal I love her"...she normally sezs "not now!"...and if I want to make her laugh - I only have to be nekkid...and I don't think there is *ever* a question about who I love most - it's sheffield united, then carolyn, then the tele :^)...ooops, were *you* supposed to be in the top 3??? :^)...
Posted by billy | August 17, 2003 2:24 PM
Posted on August 17, 2003 14:24
Well, darn! I didn't even beat out the tele!
Have you tried the syrup on cal?? Um...better get rubber sheets first.....
Posted by Buffy | August 17, 2003 3:32 PM
Posted on August 17, 2003 15:32
Buffy, sounds like solid advice here. I might add (though I do not claim to be any expert on human relationships) that spontaneous time shared can be good fun and quite exciting as well, as much as I think of myself as one who prefers to plan my day to day life. Hell its the only way I get the stuff that I need to, done!
Posted by Dr. D. | August 17, 2003 4:09 PM
Posted on August 17, 2003 16:09
...good golly...you americans...from barbarism to decadence without a period of civilisation :^)...what do you think god invented sparkling wine and 'inny' tummy buttons for?....blummin' pancake syrup....and we don't talk about the rubber sheets - ok - just 'cos I'm old :^P....
Posted by billy | August 17, 2003 5:17 PM
Posted on August 17, 2003 17:17
Doc, I'm all for spontaneity. It's my preference. But if we aren't finding enough of those spontaneous moments, then planning some time together is the next best thing.
Posted by Buffy | August 17, 2003 9:17 PM
Posted on August 17, 2003 21:17