Why does dirt bother women more than men?
I've probably announced forty times in the past two months that we are having a wedding. DH's only daughter, his youngest child, is getting married TOMORROW! I've known for months that we would be hosting out of town guests between the wedding and the reception, and I started my cleaning two months ago.
I typed a list three pages long, double spaced, with his, our, and my to-dos. Needless to say, two of the three pages were mine alone, and half the remaining page was things we needed to do together. I've gotten 90% of my list done, and some of the stuff we should have done together, too. I started with closets and drawers, and moved on to walls and floors. I've even spent 20 hours in the gardens during the last week, weeding and planting.
I'm down to the nasty stuff, like...lying on the floor with a scrub brush and a knife, and ammonia, and cleaning out the dirt and wax that my cleaning lady has let build up where the cabinets and the floor meet. My husband thinks I've lost my mind!
I'm looking at our house the way a visitor would look at it, and where I see dirt, THEY will see dirt. No woman in her right mind is going to let an ex-wife and her extended family visit and see dirt. After more than six years of nagging, I got DH and son to get on the island in the kitchen and take down the cover of the flourescent light so I could clean it. It took them 10 minutes or less......and I've been asking them to do it for SIX YEARS!
I've ruthlessly taken advantange of the fact that this is HIS DAUGHTER'S WEDDING, to get lots of things done that have been ignored. There are still things that need to be done, and I've run out of time. The garage is going to be locked, and the key will be lost, because it hasn't been cleaned!
Just why do guys think cleanliness is so darned unimportant?? We've washed windows and floors and table cloths and cabinet fronts. The lampshades still need to be vacuumed, I need to wipe off the stained glass lamp in the kitchen. DH is looking at me like I've gone off the deep end. He's willingly retreated to the lawn mower, hoping to keep out of my way.
I actually believe that I have been reasonable about all this. I haven't snarled at anyone, and I haven't withheld sex. No one has been unduly burdened, or asked to do more than I am doing, so what's the big deal? I allowed myself to be pursuaded not to buy new carpeting before the wedding. And when I didn't find a chair I liked to replace the worn one in the family room, I didn't have a tantrum. Why does all the NECESSARY preparation make me such an ogre?
I think men need to get more in touch with cleanliness, and maybe less in touch with their BOATS!!! After all.....cleanliness is next to godliness.
Here ends the rant for the day. I'm going to finish up the last of my chores and get ready to have a good time at the wedding. Have a great weekend, everyone!
Comments (9)
Boy, does this sound familiar... I'd better lay low until all the cleanings done... I'm outta here :-)
Posted by Mad Bull | May 30, 2003 8:39 PM
Posted on May 30, 2003 20:39
All I'll say is, don't get me started on my long list of complaints *S* you hear me bitch about it enough!!!
Posted by Jamie | May 30, 2003 9:59 PM
Posted on May 30, 2003 21:59
I think that dirt does indeed bother us women more... for the most part. Sounds like your place is indeed getting a thorough cleaing!
Posted by Desiree | May 30, 2003 11:15 PM
Posted on May 30, 2003 23:15
Dirt bothers my Hub but in a really perverted sort of way. He gets right up tight over a wisp of the teeniest cobweb on the ceiling fan (another one of my 'websites'), but doesn't bother him a bit if there are muddy footprints on the floor and the door mat is covered with lawn clippings. Absolutely no sense of priority, I say.
Posted by Roberta | June 1, 2003 2:06 AM
Posted on June 1, 2003 02:06
It's OK, Mad Bull! You can come out of hiding now. *G*
The cleaning is over (temporarily), and we've celebrated. We partied hearty and had a wonderful time! I plan to relax for the next week.
Jamie....at least I didn't have little ones to clean up after as I was cleaning. That's got to drive you CRAZY!!!
Desiree...it sparkled, and was really worth it.
Roberta, DH is a HUGE contributor to muddy footprints, but cobwebs don't bother him the least. Thank god! All I need is a man complaining about something needed to be cleaned, and then sitting back to direct it.
Posted by Buffy | June 1, 2003 4:07 PM
Posted on June 1, 2003 16:07
Most men (including myself) will tolerate a certain amount of dirt, it just doesn't seem alike a big issue to us. Another gender difference, however, if it really gets out of hand I don't like it either.
Have you thought that you may be going a bit overboard here Buffy because an ex-wife is involved? And you don't want a speck of dirt in the place for her to be able to find a fault of??? Just a thought.
Hope you enjoy the wedding. And if you wish Blanche has been updated! ;-)
Posted by Dr. D. | June 1, 2003 10:00 PM
Posted on June 1, 2003 22:00
Doc....I don't feel that I've gone overboard. All I've done is the stuff that would normally have been done for Spring cleaning and gardening. What probably disturbed my family is that they had to help for the first time, and we were working under a deadline.
Being a stepmother, or a second wife can be a very difficult situation. When I met DH, his youngest was 12, and the boys were all in their mid to late teens. Although we have been together 20 years, it took some of the kids a LONG time to warm up to me.
I don't think I did any more for my stepdaughter than I would have done if I had a daughter of my own. I'm just aware that our guests had more critical eyes than my family, and I felt the need to head off that criticism, by making sure the house sparkled.
Now....if I cleaned this way every week, you'd all have cause to worry! lol
I'm gonna go read about Blanche and enjoy myself! Thanks for the visit!
Posted by Buffy | June 1, 2003 11:54 PM
Posted on June 1, 2003 23:54
OK Buffy, I see your point. I know about the stepmother issue. One of my Aunts got married into such a situation. They have been together over 25 years, but I still feel (according to what my Aunt has told me), that one of the children from the first marriage still has some resentment for her, and he is a big man. BTW, my Aunt had nothing to with the marriage breaking up, his first wife died of cancer.<p>I'm sure that all will be impressed with the cleanliness of the house. I guess if anything else, they'll have to look for something else to get critical about!
Have a good week.</p>
Posted by Dr. D. | June 2, 2003 8:56 AM
Posted on June 2, 2003 08:56
I didn't even think to explain the situation.....I'm Fred's third and last wife. We have been together for 20 years, and I met him well after his second divorce. I figure their loss was my gain. *G*
His kids have adjusted to me, but kept me at a distance. In all fairness, three of them are boys, who were mostly grown by the time I came on the scene. Most of my family was not invited to the wedding, although they would have joyfully celebrated.
We had a lovely time Saturday. I was able to relax and go with the flow, and not worry about the critics. Thanks for your posts!
Posted by Buffy | June 2, 2003 2:58 PM
Posted on June 2, 2003 14:58