This is another of those things I just don't understand. How does a person come to need to be top dog so badly that they choose to make a life of it? Does it come from the positive reinforcement of one success on top of another, or is it because they are making up for a lack of success in some part of their life?
I've been poor as a church mouse, wondering if there was going to be enough food to make it to the next payday, and I've been in reasonably comfortable circumstances. I don't think that having more things made me a better, or even a different, person. Things are just things. What makes a Porche or a Lincoln Navigator better than a VW, or a Ford?
I can understand working to have more security or comfort, but I don't understand the pleasure of amassing things just so you can go "Neener Neener Neener.....I have XXXX and you DON'T!" SO WHAT!? I figure that everybody except Bill Gates has somebody who is worth more or owns more. Owning things because they give you pleasure is fine. Owning things so you can lord it over others is not.
I wonder if this amounts to the human version of the pecking order? Does conspicuous consumption play a part in a guy attracting a woman who will help him create a brood of little conspicuous consumers, thereby establishing his position in society?
Do you remember studying Abraham Mazlow's concept of Self Actualization in school? He felt that there were four steps we pass through to become self actualized: survival, security, social acceptance, and self esteem. It might seem that possessions could give you social acceptance and self esteem, but the construct is much more complex than that. I doubt that anyone who is into one up-manship would be willing to divert their focus to their inner needs, and without a knowledge of one's self, you can't achieve self esteem.
How in the world did I get diverted to that??
Anyway, I'll share one of life's lessons I've learned with you:
Material things are unimportant in the scheme of life. Love and Friendship are what matter the most.
Comments (4)
KUDOS!!!! Great post!!!! You know I've never understood it as we've discuss this issue ~ and always you have put thoughts into a great form of words *S*..............
Posted by Jamie | May 16, 2003 9:37 PM
Posted on May 16, 2003 21:37
what can I say to this except AMEN! *s*
Posted by Redeagle | May 17, 2003 9:08 AM
Posted on May 17, 2003 09:08
Very thoughtful, very interesting. The problem is it's not as simple as Mazlow would have us think. The irony is we just have to program teenagers to pick friends in opportunistic ways, to avoid junior high dropouts. It is so important that teenagers think the be all and end all of life is education & money. But as adults, the truth changes, and they now need to be de-programmed to evaluate success as happiness and contentment without 'upmanship'.
Posted by Roberta | May 17, 2003 10:55 AM
Posted on May 17, 2003 10:55
That's a good point, Roberta. It's virtually impossible to motivate a child to learn just for the sake of learning, and we DO hold out that "carrot" of success and money to get them to go for additional education. I can remember thinking that Mazlow was a jerk when I was in school. Perhaps it takes life experiences to learn that there are more satisfying aspects to life than the collection of material goods.
Posted by Buffy | May 17, 2003 4:28 PM
Posted on May 17, 2003 16:28