Arrrgh!!!

The past two weeks have been tough! Part of my family celebrated Thanksgiving here, so we started about a week before, cleaning and decorating. The day was quite a success.

Then, we had ten days to prepare for an open house for my mother, who will be 88 on Tuesday. Of course there was more cleaning, but we also needed to take down all the Thanksgiving decorations and put up most of our Christmas decorations. The Christmas tree in the living room will wait to go up until close to Christmas Eve. The house is so dry that a live tree turns to tinder in less thatn three weeks. So, we put up wreaths, stockings, Christmas quilts, and decorations, and I put garland around the front door, and swags at the carriage lights.

Early in November we sent out invitations to our family, to the Empty Nesters group at church, to our entire exercise group, and to a wide range of friends. She even invited her favorite doctor and her pastor.

Without an incredible amount of help from my nieces and one of my sisters, I could never have pulled it all off. My youngest sister and one of her daughters came Saturday and we prepared the ubiquitous toasted cereal mix. (I have TONS left!) We vacuumed and cleaned, and set up coffee, tea, iced tea, soda pop and wine stations around the outside counters of the kitchen.

Two of my nieces work for a large grocery chain and they arranged nine trays of finger food and 8 of desserts. We had dips, veggies, fruit, cheese, lunch meats, shrimp and taco salad. There were tortes, cookies, cakes, and fruit tarts. We covered the center island of the kitchen, and a good part of the dining room table. No one went hungry, and we encouraged guests and family to take food home.

The house was crammed with visitors. The Empty Nesters came early and departed in about 45 minutes, because they had to go to choir practice. The exercise group came next, and they stayed and chatted for most of the afternoon. Then family came in several waves. It was wonderful to have a full house!

Everyone gravitated to the kitchen, or to the two rooms off the kitchen. It doesn't matter who we invite to parties....they all end up in my kitchen. It was a great party.

Most of the food has been refrigerated. I'll wash wine glasses tomorrow, and I'll get Dear Husband to take the recycling stuff out to the bins, and we'll try to get back to normal.

Now, I need to get my Christmas shopping done. I wonder if I could do it by proxy???

I had to con my cat today.

Ed does not care for parties. He actually likes a few of the members of my family, but he doesn't do well when they come to visit in droves. He must have known something was up this morning, because there was cleaning going on, when we should have been having a quiet morning.

When the door was open a moment too long, he beat a retreat, and spent the day hunting outside. Since it was in the 40s today, I figured he would be fine outside, and generally ignored him.

As it got dark, someone managed to get him into the garage, but my Mother couldn't get him to come into the house. I tried, and he snooted me.

So....I left the door from the mudroom to the garage ajar, and turned out the lights. Then I left the door from the mudroom to the rest of the house ajar. A few minutes later there was a streak of black as the cat flew through the house to the safety of my office.

It's nice to know that I still have the touch! *G*

Any day that starts out with two inches of cold rain and a visit to the periodontist, is a day when staying in bed would have been preferable!

Since it was going to be such a rotten day from the start, I tried to arrange for my overdue mammogram, too. Unfortunately, they couldn't squeeze me in (pun intended), and I have to make an appointment and go back.

So, I had more than two hours to kill before another doctor's appointment. I used it to get a little Christmas shopping done.

The day is incredibly gray and rainy, and this evening we are to take my mother to dinner for her birthday. I don't want to cook, but I'm not thrilled about having to go out again. Mother deserves a more chipper companion than I'm likely to be.

I've had better days.

Are you one of those people who has never taken a sick day in their life? Did you make it through school with perfect attendance?

Do you take "mental health" days? Or, do you take every possible day off that you can without being fired?

I suspect that most of us fall somewhere in between those two extremes. I think I have taken one sick day when I wasn't sick. There could be more, but there is only one that comes to my mind.

Some companies roll over sick days, some insist that you can not have more than six or so a year. I was listening to the radio, and one teacher who is near retirement has amassed more sick days than days in a school year, so she is going to have a "sick year." It amounts to early retirement with her still being on the school district's books for one last year.

There are two schools of thought on this subject. Some people feel that we recuperate faster if we stay home when we are ill. And it's been suggested that it's wiser to stay at home when you are ill rather than contaminating all those around you. AND, there are those who believe that you need mental health days.

Others believe that it is irresponsible to take a day off when you are not ill, and that you shouldn't take a sick day unless you are seriously ill. Part of this philosophy has to do with responsibility to your company, part of it has to do with making ethical decisions.

Returning after a couple of days......

I took the day off on Wednesday of this week, thinking as the day started that I was sick. Still, I cleaned the kitchen, did several loads of laundry, made endless cups of tea, and played at my sewing table for an hour or two working on a Christmas gift. I was sure I had a cold. When things eased, I thought that perhaps it was allergies. And finally, I decided I was going to live, and got on with my life. Still, I didn't work in the office, and I didn't go out to do the marketing. I guess I played hookey.

I am in the enviable position of being able to choose when I put in the required time for my job. When I abandon my office, I make up the hours in the evening, or on the weekend. I've had eighteen years of this freedom. When Dear Husband retires, and my job ends, I worry that I won't be able to adjust to the real world of punch clocks.

I have a great sense of obligation. I'd feel guilty about calling in if I wasn't seriously ill, but I'm sure I'm spoiled by the freedom I've come to expect. That's my Libran personality at work.

So......do you play hookey, or would you never think of missing a day at work?

After several days of not enough hours in the day, I finally had the chance to catch up on some blog reading. Over at billy's blog, the subject was charity.

He and I have similar concerns. We both have given larger gifts in previous years and have cut back in our gift giving. Unfortunately, charities need our assistance more than ever.

The US government is balancing it's budget in part by cutting back on grants to charitable organizations. Every single one of those organizations is calling my home and filling my mailbox with their pleas for help.

One year, I had the brilliant idea that I would give a large number of groups small amounts, dispersing what I had to share not quite to the nth degree. WOW, was that a BAD idea! Now they are selling their mailing lists and I am drowning in the volume of requests for help.

We have decided not to respond to ANY request for donations over the phone. Fund raisers are getting testier than they've been in the past, and some are downright rude. I try to interrupt them early in their spiel so I don't waste their time, and if they don't accept no, but keep right on, I hang up. It makes me feel rotten.

I have focused on four charities that I wish to support: Habitat for Humanity, the Salvation Army, a local food pantry and the Neediest Kid's Fund, sponsored by WGN radio. We occasionally support the Cancer Fund, too, but those donations are not made at Christmas. I can think of dozens of other groups I'd like to support, including anything having to do with education, or helping destitute families.

I'm trying to budget here and there, so that I can make my contributions for the year, and it seems that each year things have gotten tighter and tighter. We clean out closets and make donations to the groups that accept things for resale, or to help destitute families. I give change to the seasonal collections, I write small checks here and there, and try to give my time where I can. I can't help feeling it's not enough.

There was a time when families took care of their own. Those who didn't have families fell back on the charity of the church. Occasionally a forward thinking community had a fund to help in emergencies. I can't tell if there is less of that support now than when I was a kid, or if maybe it's just that I am living in a more affluent area, where there is less need. I'm sure the federal government is doing less than it did even forty years ago.

When do you make the choice to save for your own need and cut back on charitable giving? We all believe that great things come from small starts. We've read about kids collecting pennies for a cause, or selling lemonade to make money to donate. We all believe that gifts like that snowball and grow, much in the way of the parable of the fishes and the loaves. I worry about being stingy with my donations. Those of us with good fortune need to share, after all.

Short of joining an order and taking on a vow of poverty, what is enough?

Dear Husband believes that charity begins at home. He feels that we should support our family, and I believe that we need to reach out further. We've had to compromise to satisfy each other's philosophy. As things get tighter, we are doing less for others. This is one of those times when I'd like to be wealthy. I wonder if someone like Bill Gates has the same kind of discussions we have? "Do you think we should give another million to the food pantry?" "No, we've already hit the limit for charitable donations for the year."

Two days before Thanksgiving the element in one of the ovens died. I called my absolute favorite handyman, the appliance repair guy, only to find that three weeks earlier he had sold his company and moved his wife to Arizona for health reasons.

BUMMER!!! I let the guy who bought his business into my house, and I already regret it. He said he thought he might have the element back at the shop. I figured he was hosing me.....and he was. When I finally tracked him down the Saturday AFTER Thanksgiving, he told me that he had to order the part.

I began to worry that the element on the second oven was dying, too, so I called him back and told him to order another element, and he could change them both at the same time. I didn't want to have to pay him for two visits, and I didn't want to have to put up with him for two visits.

So, today it is eighteen days since we last saw him (and gave him a check for the element). I called to ask when we might be seeing him. He asked if it had been two weeks, and I told him it had been 18 days. No, he asked....two weeks since we ordered the SECOND element. No. It's been about 10 days.

He's going to call the factory on Monday to see when we can expect the back ordered part. I'm going to call him Tuesday to find out when we can expect HIM! I told him that this was Christmas cookie season and we couldn't be without the ovens much longer.

I don't think I made any impression on him.

I admit it. I'm addicted to quilting fabric....and thread, and rotary cutters and mats. I need to have a bumper sticker that reads "I Break for Quilt Shops."

One of my favorite quilt shops had a sale today. You could get 20 fat quarters for $20. I know...."What the heck is a fat quarter?" A yard of fabric is usually 36 inches by roughly 42 inches wide. A traditional quarter of a yard is 9 " x the width of the fabric. To create four fat quarters you take that same piece and cut it in half, and then cut those two pieces in half along the opposite axis. You end up with four pieces that are 18" by 21". Quilters feel that you have more options with a fat quarter because the piece is wider.

Quilting fabric has become pricey. This particular shop charges anywhere from $8.50 to more than $12 a yard. Four fat quarters equal a yard, so I paid $4.00 a yard for this fabric. Quilting shops carry fabric that is designed expressly for quilting, and is first run. The quality of fabric is different from what can be purchased in chain stores.

I thought....I'll go and get 20 regular fat quarters, and twenty of the batik fabric. Most likely everyone else will be out Christmas shopping and I can sneak in and out in a flash. WRONG!!! I should have known better. If I was willing to go so far out of my way today, you had to know that half the women in my town would, too. And, they did!

When I had my collection of sale fabric, I made my second mistake. I asked if they still carried a certain fabric. The shop assistant told me she wasn't sure, that I'd have to look around. Well....by the time I got to the check out I had 61 fat quarters, and at least ten yards of fabric I hadn't planned to buy.

With the exception of fabric, I'm normally not an impulse buyer. I tend to buy most of my fabric in January, or at least, during the winter. All the quilters I know have what we call a "stash" of fabric. Mine is contained on shelves that are 10 feet wide by six feet high, and the ladies of my quilting bee give me a hard time about how little fabric I have. They are MORE addicted than I am, and would willingly admit it. One of them works at the shop that had the sale. I can't afford to work at a quilting shop. All my salary would have to go to pay for in store purchases.

So, tomorrow I will be ironing fabric. LOTS of fabric. Fabric in country style Christmas colors, and fabric with striking batik designs, fabric with florals and fabric with geometrics. The only thing I didn't get was solid colors. The next question will be...

"Where the heck do I PUT it all???"

I had breakfast this morning with the most interesting group of women. My mother and I visited one of the Illinois Chapters of the Red Hat Society. One of our friends from exercise class told us about them, and invited us to go with her. The chapter has about 35 women, and there were about a dozen present. These ladies are all over 50, wear read hats and purple clothing and are fascinating. A large number of them are politically active. Two are artists, one was a librarian, another is in real estate, and another is a principal.

The variety of women present was astonishing. The oldest member present was 89 and the youngest was in her mid fifties. They are all active, bright, inquisitive, warm and welcoming. I'm looking forward to receiving mail from them, telling me what the chapter has planned for the year.

I found women who could help me learn to embellish my quilts, one who could give me information on developing a subdivision, and several others who could talk with me about local politics. It occurred to me that a Red Hat Chapter might be the perfect place to start a "Sitters Group" to give those of us who care for the elderly a little time off now and then.

If I remember the statistics correctly, approximately four years ago at the first national convention, there were fewer than 500 chapters, and now there are 35,000 chapters throughout the world. All sorts of store are featuring Red Hat departments. You're likely to find T-shirts with the word "Hatitude," or bracelets, broaches, hats, purses, and purple clothing. It seems it's become a BIG business.

If you're interested in learning more about the Red Hat Society or want to see if there is a chapter near you, visit their official website.

I spent the day making Christmas cookies, and I should have gone to bed long ago. I stayed to read a few blogs. It's been at least a week since I had the chance to visit with my blog friends, and catch up with your lives.

My daughter-in-law is teaching English in Japan. A few weeks ago she wrote to beg chocolate and cookies for Christmas. Apparently, Midwestern "chocolate" and "cookies" don't translate well into Japanese and beyond missing favorite foods, she sounded a bit homesick. I rashly promised I would send a care package with her husband. Of course, once he learned that SHE was getting cookies, he asked for them, too.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, and he asked how much snow we had gotten. I was surprised, because the storm had missed us, and I had totally forgotten one had passed through south of us. What little snow we have doesn't quite cover the ground, and it came several days ago.

I was astounded to learn that Michigan City, Indiana, the town on the south end of Lake Michigan just before you get to Michigan, had TWENTY SIX INCHES of snow. I'd say they got all our snow, don't you think?

I recall an incredible snowstorm in 1978, when I was stranded in Chicago for two days. And there was one in 1967, I think. I made it out of the Chicago suburbs on my way back to school in the nick of time. And....some time in the last ten years we had snow so high that I couldn't walk Defer anywhere but up and down the plowed driveway. His legs were too short to deal with the snow, and so were mine! But we lucked out this week.

Good luck Michigan City! Keep shoveling!

I believe in miracles! We have one right here in Chicago. In September, twin girls who had reached only 26 weeks of the normal 40 week gestation period, were delivered by Caesarian section. The smallest of the two, Rumaisa, weighed 8.6 OUNCES, and is believed to be the smallest baby ever delivered.

The miracle is this: Rumaisa's doctors may release her from the hospital in the first week in January. Her prognosis is good, and her doctor believes that she will develop normally. At birth she was roughly the size of a pop can, and now she weighs two pounds, ten ounces.

Rumaisa is fortunate to live in an area that has such excellent neonatal care. Loyola University Medical Center doctors and staff have cared for more than 1700 newborns with birth weights of less than two pounds over the past 20 years. They have a survival rate of 90% for 28-week gestation, and that's among the highest in the country.

For more details, visit here.

We have just about 40 hours to get everything ready, and then the celebration begins. I've been fine tuning my shopping list for Thursday, the last time I expect to get to the store before we cook.

I had originally planned to have a breakfast casserole on Christmas morning, to make preparation easier, but I've been thinking about having Quiche Lorraine instead. The ingredients are roughly the same, with the exception of swapping bacon for sausage, and pie crust for hash browns. The quiche might look more festive and elegante....but with all the excitement of present opening, will anyone care?

I plan to offer English muffins and whole wheat toast, jam and butter on one tray, and an assortment of fruit on another.

What do you think? The quiche or the casserole?

Decisions! Sometimes I wish I wasn't a Libra!

Looking back over my blog for the past year, I can see that I've let things slide. I've taken the easy path and talked about the mundane details of my life, rather than my thoughts or hopes. I'm not rash enough to promise changes, but I hope the new year will bring a slightly different focus to what I share.

As we move toward Christmas, I'm reminded of just how fortunate we are here at Chez Buffy. We have a roof over our heads, regular meals, a job to go to, and family, including a new grand daughter, nearby. We are truly blessed. We pray that good fortune continues in the new year, and that we find ways to share it with others.

I hope that my blog friends are all doing well. For those of you who have had a difficult year, we hope that the new year brings you easier times, or the peace you seek. From our household to yours, we wish you a joyous Christmas, and the best in the New Year!

As I start this post, there are just three minutes left of Christmas Day, 2004. It was a very nice day at Chez Buffy. I think I could use the trite phrase: a good time was had by all.

Yesterday I had a first in my life. I NEVER shop on Christmas Eve. For decades I have been teasing my husband about the male tendency to go Christmas shopping on the eve of Christmas. Then aliens came and took him and left someone in his place. This creature shops early and often, and has even used the computer to do some shopping. I was astonished to find that his shopping was complete several days prior to Christmas this year.

The other day I was listening to the radio and the subject under discussion was receiving (and/or returning) gifts. I really need to put my two cents in on this discussion.

First, let me set the scene. A woman, probably in her thirties, called in, and said that she knew a family where everyone, INCLUDING the adults wrote wish lists. My head just about snapped off, because I thought she was going to talk about the family into which I have married. They all make wish lists, and now so do I. At first it was really upsetting, but then DH explained it all to me. These lists are what the kids WISH for.....not necessarily what they receive.

We are a bit concerned here, upon hearing the news about the earthquake centered in Indonesia. Wednesday, Dear Husband's third son flew to Japan to meet his wife, and then they flew to Phukat, Thailand for the Christmas holidays.

We didn't know where they were planning to be in Thailand until this evening, and the news from Phukat is on the grim side. Those who were sunbathing at the edge of the water or snorkeling, or scuba diving apparently were lost as the tsunamis rolled in.

We have not heard from the kids, but we are thinking positively about this. Third son is a geologist, so he would have known to go to high ground when they felt the earthquake. I'm assuming that it's nearly impossible to get a line out, or in, at the moment, so we are going to wait for word, and do our best not to worry.

I'd appreciate any form of good thought you care to send on their behalf, but your prayers would be really appreciated.

UPDATE:
There may be a ray of hope here.... The kids have not been able to call, but they did leave an itinerary with Third Son's mother. Thru the grapevine, we've heard that they intended to go to Bangkok first, so they may be safe, if stranded. Bangkok is a coastal city, but it's on the Gulf of Thailand, and may have been sheltered from the tsunami that hit Phuket. I think the kids may have a slightly different holiday than expected. We'll continue to hope for their safe return.

UPDATE #2:
They're SAFE!!! Third Son's mother managed to find the travel agent that made the arrangements, and together they traced where the kids had gone from Japan. It turns out they were in Bangkok when the tsunami hit Phuket, and are safe. They got a phone call at 3:00 a.m. their time with a VERY angry mother asking why they hadn't called to reassure us that they were safe. She also suggested that our daughter-in-law needed to call her family.

Perhaps it's a function of their age. Maybe they didn't realize we would all be concerned about them. I can't tell you how relieved I am to know that they weren't snorkling at Phuket when the tsunamis hit.

From the grapevine, we think they will be flying to Singapore, and then on to Japan. Please, God, if you could spare the time with so many lost and grieving, could you send them home to us safely?

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words as we worried for the kids.

Today, in the part of the United States known as the Greater Chicagoland area (and probably the rest of the Northern Hemisphere), we received thirty-three more seconds of sunlight. I don't know if each day from now to the solstice in June will have thirty three more seconds of light, but each extra second is precious.

I was surfing to find just how short our day is on the solstice, and this site says that their day is seven hours and fifty minutes, while this site says their day will be eight hours and fifteen minutes. Clearly, it matters what your latitude is, in determining just how little sunlight you get. It's interesting to note that we do not gain an equal number of seconds of light due to earlier sunrises and later sunsets.

This site has an explanation of how the Earth's tilt, and the elliptical orbit of the planet around the sun cause a difference close to the time of the solstices in the changes of sunrises and sunsets. For about two weeks prior to the December 21st solstice the sun rises at the same time each day, while the sunset comes earlier and earlier.

As a gardener, I long for the time when I can get back out into my gardens in the Spring. I'll be pushing it in March, when I go out to pick up fallen branches, and pull up dead plants that escaped my attention this fall. Some of my gardening friends start plants from seed, just to have their fingers in the dirt.

A day or so before Christmas, I received my first plant catalog in the mail, so spring can't be too far behind!

Both Dear Husband and I have been caught by the cold bug. This morning I realized that in the twenty years I have known him, DH has been noticeably ill perhaps five or six times. He's very stoic about illness. He will ignore it and carry on, when I think he should pamper himself.

Part of that has to do with being a guy, and part of it has to do with being an employer, I'm sure. He feels that if he is not there to oversee a job, it will either not be done to his exacting standards, or not done at all. So, even if we can see that he is ill, he goes off to work long before the crack of dawn.

Dear Husband and I have talked about colds . There have been years when I have caught a cold three or four times in the colder half of the year, and other years when I have been cold free. He is of the opinion that I need to get out of the house more. I'm not sure if that is a euphemism for "get more exercise," or if he really means "out of the house."

I noticed yesterday, when I had to chauffeur my mother around, that I felt better when I was out in the cool air. That doesn't make sense to me. What is there about cool, or cold air that would ease a cold? Conversely, what is there about my house that could be making me sick? Pet dander, dust, dust mites, fireplace ashes, colognes, scented cleaning products......the list is long, but could they be the reason my colds last longer?

I've also wondered if the fact that Dear Husband works out of doors plays a role in how quickly he recuperates from colds. Does cold air force a body to raise it's temperatures, making it less hospitable to the virus? Or is it just that he gets so much more exercise than I do?

I know they don't have the cure for the common cold yet. Believe me, when they do, I'll be at the head of the line to receive it! Until then, a brisk walk outside each day, and an apple, may be the best medicine I can find.

As I write to you, it's about 10:26 at night on New Year's Eve, 2004.

We are accustomed to spending quiet evenings at home, with the exception of one very memorable celebration with Jamie and Speedbump three years ago, but it seems that this year will be quieter than usual.