Have you ever noticed that laughter has a way of bubbling up when you are supposed to be at your most solemn?
I don't belive that you must go to a wake or a funeral with a grief-stricken face. I personally feel that we go to celebrate our friend who has passed on, and for many people, that celebration has to include funny memories.
The man who did the eulogy for my step-son was his childhood friend. We laughed a lot at the stories he had to tell. We could easily imagine the youthful hi-jinks that went on from the tales he shared.
I'd rather have a speaker dwell on the good, and the funny memories, than feel it's inappropriate to lighten the somber air of the day. I think that it's natural to feel the laughter, and that it shouldn't be suppressed but rather, encouraged.
Yes, we feel grief at our loss. Yes, at times we express it in a solemn way, but I'd rather be remembered in a positive or a funny way, if you give me a choice. And that's how I choose to remember my step-son.
So, the next time you're at a funeral, and a bubble of laughter is threatening to well up within you, please grin, and say a prayer for my kid.
Comments (6)
I agree with you Kitty, it should be a celebration of all the good things about the person. Funny but it's harder for me to remember anything but good things. My thoughts are with you.
Posted by Mina | January 10, 2006 1:11 AM
Posted on January 10, 2006 01:11
Buffy, you are so right. I've always found my greatest comfort in the midst of sorry through hugs and allowing myself the freedom to discuss happier times. Everyone often hesitates, wondering if it is the right thing to do, but anything that comforts a sad heart IS the right thing to do. My prayers are with you, Buffy. Warm hugs as well.
Posted by Roberta S | January 10, 2006 4:40 AM
Posted on January 10, 2006 04:40
Thank you, both. You know I'll be carrying your words with me today, and I'll be helping others to remember the good times they had with this very special man.
Posted by buffy | January 10, 2006 11:07 AM
Posted on January 10, 2006 11:07
There's nothing wrong with bringing up funny stories at a wake, it helps everyone remember the good times, which is what the memories should be about.
He would want you all to laugh and smile. Hugs for you all.
Posted by Susan | January 10, 2006 5:17 PM
Posted on January 10, 2006 17:17
happy moments help you remember the love.
you are in my prayers. lots of love.xx
Posted by bod | January 10, 2006 8:22 PM
Posted on January 10, 2006 20:22
Thank you, Susan and bod...we DID celebrate with happy memories. I said the blessing, and tied a funny moment into the occasion. I'll try to blog about it later, because that sounds bizarre.
Thanks for your support.
Posted by buffy | January 11, 2006 4:17 PM
Posted on January 11, 2006 16:17