Whew…it’s been a long week and it’s only Thursday morning!
We have a regular schedule of visitors during the week. Elegante Mother has had two physical therapist visits and by 8:30 this morning will have had two occupational therapist visits this week. We’ve had a nurse’s visit, and next week will have two more, as they draw blood to check the levels of her medicines and try to determine whether she needs further strengthening through physical therapy.
One of my nieces, her son, and one of my great nieces came to visit yesterday. They brought goodies from a local bakery and chatted with us for several hours. She plans to visit with EM each Wednesday evening, so that DH and I can get away for a bit.
EM seems to be suffering from “Sundowners,” an unofficial disease that is widely recognized. She starts out her day well but looses track of what’s going on around her as the sun begins to drop in the sky. Last night, she decided that no one loves her, and she tried to run away from home. Luckily, Dear Husband was there to walk with her and prevent her from stepping out onto the road. I truly don’t know what I’d do without the man!
This morning, EM can’t remember what happened, so we will move forward with today’s obligations and look for a lock for the door.
It’s quite eye-opening to become your parent’s guardian. I’ve commented on the role reversal we’ve experienced over the the past two decades, but the seizure has made that seem insignificant. I need to help EM choose clothes, and dress, and I do her laundry. She leaves meal choices to me. Luckily, I have someone to help with her bathing and personal care several days a week, and expect to have a bit more help, soon.
Things have been put on hold in the office, during the middle of this week. Our care giver could not find a baby sitter, and missed her visit yesterday. So, on Friday, I’ll need to get all the office work done that I had hoped to do on Wednesday. DH came home early so that I could make a run to the bank, and I’ll visit the library on Friday after exercise (provided the caregiver arrives).
I’m sure this all seems disjointed to you. You are getting a stream of consciousness post. It’s how I feel most days. I run to put out whichever fire pops up next.
I need to be off. It’s time to get ready for the OT visit! Have a great day, my friends. Keep in touch..
Arrrgh!!!
It's just my state of mind!
Mr BW’s grandmother had almost the same thing – absolutely amazing for her age until she was 91, then a fall, then rapid mental and memory deterioration.
We used to be worried about the things she said and did and constantly want to help her to ‘remember’ or analsyse, to ensure it didn’t happen again, but I came to the conclusion that it made no difference at all to her, so it was totally pointless, as it didn’t make us feel any better either.
So, we all agreed that we now let her carry on with what she wants to say – it’s her own private world and she’s stuck somewhere about 20 years ago and unable to remember anything since. Now, when she asks after people who’ve died recently we just say they’re fine, rather than tell her they’ve died. Otherwise she’s having to cope with the sadness of realising they’ve died all over again each time… which serves no point except to make her feel (momentarily) unhappy. Similarly, if she wants to tell us she went shopping (as she did years ago), we play along with that and ask her what she bought.
It’s hard though, isn’t it?
We’ve found that having lots of photos around, with the names of people on them, and a ‘Day Book’ where people who visit can sign their name, the date and time, and write message that she can re-read when she’s alone, and has maybe forgottten who has visited, has helped a lot.
Blue Witch, thanks for visiting. It helps to know that I’m not the Lone Ranger. I know that others have to deal with this experience, but it helps when you know someone who has dealt with it.
I’ve already come to the point where I don’t try to correct EM. I help her as much as I can when she starts a sentence, but if we don’t have enough cues, we let her say what she can, and not worry about it.
We have two digital picture frames, and several memory sticks filled with pictures of our extended families. EM remembers relationships more so than names. Whoever sits with her says the names of those in the pictures.
The idea of the Day Book is just great. We’ve put all her get well cards in a basket, and I find her going through them now and then. She’d enjoy having a record of her visitors, and it might help her anchor the day and date in her mind.
Thanks for your advice.