I received this last night in an email…now granted, I haven’t been a Floridian for that long…(and I live in the more NE area than SW…) but still…I got a kick out of this, and thought some of you might also :biggrin<\/p>\n
\nJUST A LITTLE LEVITY
\nTom Lyon’s letter to Hurricane Ivan:
\nDear Ivan:
\nHey, how’s it going out there near Barbados?
\nListen, lots of us here in Southwest Florida have been talking about your
\nscheduled visit.
\nNow, please don’t take this the wrong way. We like spectacular forces of
\nnature as well as the next guy. We realize that Florida and hurricanes go
\ntogether like country music and drunken driving. We don’t want to mess with
\ntradition.
\nAnd we know you hurricanes recharge the aquifers, provide an exhilarating
\nbreak in the stifling heat of late summer, and give neighbors a chance to
\nbond. The economic boost you give to Home Depot alone is enough to make up
\nfor whatever inconvenience is to be expected.
\nSo normally you would be as welcome as a gang of Harley riders during Bike
\nWeek \ud83d\ude42
\nBut may I say that this year the timing of your tentatively scheduled
\narrival seems less than ideal.
\nYou know that visitors start to wear out their welcome after a few days.
\nAnd
\ntoo many visitors in a row can also wear down a host and hostess. That, I’m
\nsorry to say, is pretty much the position we Floridians find ourselves in
\njust now.
\nYour cousin Charley blew through a few weeks ago and, to be blunt, he was
\nless than mannerly. He zoomed in like a hyperactive toddler, leaving the
\nproverbial path of destruction, except that it was no proverb. And then he
\nwas gone without so much as a see-ya-later.
\nCharley was a leave-wet-towels-on-the-floor, never-pick-up-a-tab kind of
\nguest. He inspired some grumbling, and picking up after him has been a real
\nchore. You should have seen Punta Gorda, Port Charlotte, Arcadia and
\nWauchula, Orlando.
\nAt least Charley didn’t stay long. But just when we were starting to get
\nthings almost back to normal, Frances sauntered in.
\nI don’t mean to be crass, but she was HUGE. When she hung around the state,
\nshe hung around the state, you know what I mean?
\nAnd you know how some guests just don’t leave? That’s Frances. Even when we
\nwere looking at our watches and yawning and singing “The Party’s Over” she
\njust stayed and stayed.
\nSome of us who hadn’t really rolled out the red carpet for Charley decided
\nto prepare a lot more for Frances, and maybe we just tired ourselves out.
\nAnd then she stalled and arrived late, which is always irritating.
\nShe was wasn’t as wild as Charley, I’ll admit. Those rumors about Frances
\npossibly becoming a Category 5 turned out to be overblown hype. But she
\njust
\nsort of oozed through. I went to bed Sunday Sunday night and woke up
\nthinking she’d be long gone at last, but she was still here Monday morning!
\nSo a lot of us here are thinking that enough is enough for one year.
\nActually, the experience of almost back-to-back hurricanes has some people
\ntalking about canceling hurricane season entirely.
\nDon’t worry. Floridians won’t go that far. But we may consider moving
\nhurricane season to a nicer time of year. I know hurricanes like it hot,
\nbut
\ndoing without air conditioning would be a lot nicer in November, or maybe
\nMarch, so as not to interfere with football season.
\nI mean, did you see where Frances actually caused the postponement of a
\nGator football game? People will put up with a lot, but let’s be reasonable
\nhere.
\nSome are saying we should limit the number of hurricanes allowed into
\nFlorida in one year. There might be some debate about whether the limit
\nshould be one or two, but there is wide agreement that three is too many.
\nSo, Ivan, here’s the point: Florida’s famous hospitality is pretty much
\ntapped out just now. Our enthusiasm for big winds and rains, and for TV
\nreporters gushing forth with excited descriptions of it all, has bogged
\ndown
\nlike a riding lawnmower in the swamp that used to be my back yard.
\nAs I said, it is nothing personal, Ivan, but what would you say to making
\nalternate travel plans?
\nI understand that Bermuda is lovely this time of year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I received this last night in an email…now granted, I haven’t been a Floridian for that long…(and I live in the more NE area than […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-interesting-to-me"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=321"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}