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first off…I’d like to go on record thanking everyone for their support…you know who you are, I know who you are, and I love each and every one of you :kisses
needless to say, I am very upset about the kids decision…yet at the same time, very excited about our upcoming ceremony :hum
make any sense to anyone else out there?
didn’t think so…:shrug
its hard to explain for me too…I’ll be going along, thinking about something we need to do…just did, etc…and WHAM! it suddenly hits me that my kids won’t be here…and that so much of this was planned with them in mind, so that they would enjoy themselves too since they were SUPPOSED to be here.
It’s hard to feel such joy, such love, and such peace…yet at the same time, be hurting so deeply inside, like a part of my heart has been ripped out and tossed aside.
anyway…didn’t mean to get so grapic there, but I know how some people stress if my blog is blank for to long…hopefully soon I’ll actually have something substantial to post!

8 Replies to “torn”

  1. Hang in there dear. One day it will all be behind you, and the kids will know that even if they weren’t there, they were though of, loved, and missed that day.
    My very wise huband tells me all the time “Control what YOU can control. The rest of it you have to let go!”. It seems so simple, those words, when you read them and yet I find myself wondering why someone else had to point that out to me. No, it doesn’t change the fact that some things still hurt, but as long as you are always doing everything you can to make a situation right, you can look back and know that you did everything the best you could. Take heart.

  2. Kristi,you have one smart husband.
    I’m excited about the wedding!! But I haven’t been able to keep up with the planning because I lost the site. I don’t know how I did it but I deleted an entire folder on my favorites list and I lost all my favorite blog sites. I could find your main site easily but not the wedding site. I’m anxious to see if you’ve got any news!

  3. T I know how you feel and where you are at. You have never had this kind of happiness in your life so of course you are going to embrace it. Hell you never had this kind of love in your love. So you better embrace it or I would kick your ass. You don’t have to explain that to any of us. Your kids will come around one day. They will see exactly what kind of man their father is (not saying he isn’t a good father). But just as I did with my mom, they will come to you and want to know why it ended and why you are where you are now. And when that time comes hunnie, if you feel they are ready, give them absolute truth. Pure truth about something they have never been able to understand will shed a new light and when they finally see that light it will make all the difference in their opinions of you and your life.
    I love you babe, forever and ever. As most the people here do. Embrace your day like there is no tomorrow, and trust me your kids will have their own day to embrace soon.

  4. So – Obviously I think it sucks about the boys. :'( I was sooo hoping to finally meet them!
    I had a great time the other night – even if it was a short time. I love spending time with you guys – you just exude love! :0)
    FYI – Nana’s doing better – she sat up in a recliner today and demanded them to put coffee in her IV. LMFAO – I thought of you. LOL

  5. I know it has got to suck to have a happy and sad thing going on at the same time. I wish you guys all the best and know that everything will be right soon.

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