I was on-line in the office today, when my eyes started to tear up. Then my nose wrinkled, and I started to gag. I stood up to start the fan, and looked over to confirm that Defer was lying in the doorway of the office, with his hindquarters in the office. I’ve GOT to get that dog off canned dog food!
\nMy mother had some very strict ideas about raising children, and what was acceptable. We did NOT chew gum, burp, or pass gas, and if we up-chucked….we cleaned it up ourselves. I do not remember ever hearing my father fart. As a matter of fact….that word was not part of my vocabulary until I met my present husband.
\nDH was very restrained the first six years I knew him. Then we married and the honeymoon was over. I should have realized what I was going to have to deal with when his partner asked if he disappeared from the room frequently. He started out letting small sounds escape, and gradually progressed to the louder, more prolonged productions. There have been days when I wasn’t sure who was worse, DH, or the dog.
\nWe’ll be sitting in the living room and he will shift on the couch, lifting a hip, and sigh with satisfaction. I’ve developed a series of expressions to convey the depth of my displeasure, to no avail. The worst, though, are the silent deadlies. Lord spare me from the silent ones!
\nExplain to me why he NEVER does this in front of my mother? It’s not like he’s afraid of her. Why is it okay to do it to me? You’d think if he loved me he’d treat me better.
\nDH has a lot to commend him. He doesn’t cuss or smoke; he drinks sparingly. He has a long list of sterling attributes, and this failing. For our next wedding anniversary I’m going to help him with that one failing. His present will be a big cork!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was on-line in the office today, when my eyes started to tear up. Then my nose wrinkled, and I started to gag. I stood up to start the fan, and looked over to confirm that Defer was lying in … Continue reading