This is a difficult entry to write, but I’m in trouble with my Mother, again. This happens with a fair degree of regularity. Mother has a very comfortable life with us, but I’m confident that she would rather live with any of my siblings. On the surface, this seems like the ideal situation. She has the front half of our house, and all the storage she wants in the basement. She has total access to the kitchen and the laundry and we’ve created container gardens for her on the sidewalk so that she can keep her hand in at gardening, now that she can no longer get into the regular gardens.
\nI take my mother to all her hair and doctor appointments, and to exercise three mornings a week. We stop at the bank, grocery shop and occasionally hit specialty stores together. I ask for her input on meals, and have forced myself not to nag her about what she eats (butter, chocolate, crackers, ice cream etc.) or doesn’t eat (protein, veggies). I’m the person who took her to all her chemo appointments when she had colon cancer. I’m the one who hosts the Empty Nester Sewing circle once a month so that she can be among her friends from church. I’m also the one who takes her to the Red Hat Lady functions.
\nUnfortunately, I’m also the impatient one. When I call you to dinner, I am ready to have you sit at the table. Meals don’t mean as much to Mother these days, so once we get her to the kitchen, and deal with a resting place for her cane, we still have to surmount the obstacle of getting her seated and served. Generally, she sees it as a social hour. By that time of day I frequently don’t have what it takes to stand and chat, knowing that it will delay the time when I can sit and put my feet up for the evening.
\nMy mother is very attuned to criticism and sees it where it doesn’t exist. Recently she has taken to telling people that she is very fortunate that we have been willing to “put up with her.” I’m sure that my impatience has leaked out….and I need to find a way to accept that there is nothing as important right now as peace in my household, and my mother’s comfort.
\nMy mother needs the security of knowing that she is wanted, and welcome. Don’t we all feel that way? We made the choice to have her live with us. We never said….”Come live with us for the next ten years.” She has actually been with us for nineteen years. I certainly hope, should I get to be ninety-one, that someone will care for me with compassion, and have more patience than I seem to be able to corral.
\nSo, as we near Mother’s Day, I’m contemplating ways to make Mother happy. The first entry on my checklist is…..MORE PATIENCE!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This is a difficult entry to write, but I’m in trouble with my Mother, again. This happens with a fair degree of regularity. Mother has a very comfortable life with us, but I’m confident that she would rather live with … Continue reading