{"id":130,"date":"2003-08-12T14:53:34","date_gmt":"2003-08-12T21:53:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/computer_problems\/"},"modified":"2003-08-12T14:53:34","modified_gmt":"2003-08-12T21:53:34","slug":"computer_problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/computer_problems\/","title":{"rendered":"Computer Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Moses, &#8220;Excuse me, Sir.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Is that you again, Moses?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I&#8217;m afraid it is, Sir.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;What is it this time, Moses; more computer Problems?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;How did you guess?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I don&#8217;t have to guess, Moses. Remember ?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Oh, yes; I forgot.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Tell me what you want, Moses.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;But you already know, Sir. Remember?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Moses!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Sorry, Sir.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Well, go ahead, Moses; spit it out.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those ten &#8216;things&#8217; you sent<br \/>\nme via e-mail?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You mean the Ten Commandments, Moses?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;That&#8217;s it. I was wondering if they are important.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;What do you mean &#8216;if they are important,&#8217; Moses? Of course, they<br \/>\nare important. Otherwise, I would not have sent them to you.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Well, sorry, Sir, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them;<br \/>\nbut, of course, you would see right through that.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;What do you mean you &#8216;lost them&#8217;? Are you trying to tell me you<br \/>\ndidn&#8217;t save them, Moses?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No, Sir; I forgot.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You should always save, Moses.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes, I know. You told me that before. I was going to save them,<br \/>\nbut I forgot. I did forward them to some people before I lost them<br \/>\nthough.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And did you hear back from any of them?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You already know I did. There was the one guy who said he never<br \/>\nuses &#8216;shalt not.&#8217; May he change the words a little bit?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes, Moses, as long as he does not change the meaning.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh,<br \/>\nand recommended calling them the &#8216;Ten Suggestions,&#8217; or letting<br \/>\npeople pick one or two to try for a while?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Moses, I will act as if I did not hear that.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I think that means &#8216;no.&#8217; Well, what about the guy who said I was<br \/>\nscamming him?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I think the term is &#8216;spamming,&#8217; Moses.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Oh, yes. I. E-mailed him back and told him I don&#8217;t even eat that<br \/>\nstuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a<br \/>\ncomputer.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And what did he say?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don&#8217;t think<br \/>\nhe might have sent me one of those &#8212; err &#8212; plagues, and that&#8217;s<br \/>\nthe reason I lost those ten &#8216;things&#8217;, do you?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;They are not plagues; they are called &#8216;viruses,&#8217; Moses.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we go<br \/>\nback to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out<br \/>\nand reading them each day, but at least I never lost them.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;We will do it the new way, Moses; using computers&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I was afraid you would say that, Sir.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You told me to hold up this rat and point it toward the computer.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It&#8217;s a mouse , Moses, not a rat. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No, I decided to try calling technical support first. After all,<br \/>\nwho knows more about this stuff than you? And I really like your<br \/>\nhours. By the way, Sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No, Moses.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;One other thing. Why did you not name them &#8216;frogs&#8217; instead of<br \/>\n&#8216;mice,&#8217; because did you not tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I did not name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog<br \/>\nif you want to.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Oh, that explains it. I bet some woman told Adam to call it a<br \/>\nmouse. After all, was it not a woman who named one of the computers<br \/>\n&#8216;Apple?'&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Say good night, Moses.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Wait a minute, Sir. I am pointing the mouse, and it seems to be<br \/>\nworking. Yes, a couple of the ten &#8216;things&#8217; have come back.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Which ones are they, Moses?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Let me see. &#8216;Thou shalt not steal from any grave &#8220;an image&#8221; and<br \/>\n&#8216;Thou shalt not correct Thy neighbor&#8217;s wife.'&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Turn the computer off, Moses. I&#8217;m sending you another set of stone<br \/>\ntablets.&#8221;<br \/>\n<b>I empathize with Moses.<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Moses, &#8220;Excuse me, Sir.&#8221; &#8220;Is that you again, Moses?&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m afraid it is, Sir.&#8221; &#8220;What is it this time, Moses; more computer Problems?&#8221; &#8220;How did you guess?&#8221; &#8220;I don&#8217;t have to guess, Moses. Remember ?&#8221; &#8220;Oh, yes; I forgot.&#8221; &#8220;Tell &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/computer_problems\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.redeaglespirit.com\/arrrgh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}