Dear Husband and I went to visit Elegante Mother today. I took her a bowl of cheddar chowder and a slice of an amazing chocolate cake with fudge frosting and fresh raspberries. She wasn’t terribly thrilled with my homemade chowder, but she ate several spoonsful, along with the oyster crackers. The chocolate cake was something else, again. She ate half of it at lunch and saved the rest for later this afternoon. In EM’s opinion, there’s nothing better than chocolate!
We are seeing extremes in EM’s memory. Some days we visit and she is clear as a bell, discussing the family in a way that lets you know she recognizes everyone. Other days she hasn’t a clue who we are talking about. She informed my brother that she had never been married or had children. He asked her about the pictures on the wall above her bed and could see her trying to process the question without any luck.
Our brains are funny creatures.
EM is physically well, and still casing the joint. The nurse told me today that she gets frequent calls to send someone to guide EM back to her own wing. She has taken to walking the halls of the facility. I don’t know if that is to get out of her room (or away from her roommate), or whether she feels the need for exercise, or whether she truly is looking for a way out. I’m relieved to know that she is able to get around on her own.
I’ll return Monday. I promised to bring a Greek salad with me this time. Her eyes lit up at the thought of Feta cheese!
Arrrgh!!!
It's just my state of mind!
So sorry to hear of EM’s mental decline, we’re going through the same with our mother. It’s her very short term memory that is failing. When one looks at her, she looks the same, but we all know different.
Will be think of you as we journey down this road together.
Glad EM is physically well. The memory thing can be hard to deal with – just enjoy those day that she has “real” memories and play along on those days that she has fake memories (I know that we and the rest of WS’s family had less frustrations that way with his mom)
“Walking the halls” is not an uncommon preoccupation with those experiencing memory disruption. Perhaps EM, and the other, hall walkers ARE trying to find a way out; but, I never got that impression of the hall-walking residents whom I knew.
Unfortunately, in their 90s, many people experience bouts of memory disruption. With HH’s dad, during the last several years, he would be “with it” one day and at a total loss to identify his visitors correctly, the next–or, vice versa. Fortunately, Pop never failed to know who I was and always carried on cogent, intelligent conversations. You see EM often enough that you will, undoubtedly, “catch” her memory-disrupted days more than I had the opportunity to experience with Pop.
Best wishes to you and Janeywan and your families.
Janeywan, you and I are experiencing the same thing. EM’s short term memory is so unpredictable these days. I think the medicines have actually made an improvement, but it’s very erratic.
I hope your Mother is comfortable, and happy, and getting the quality of care that you want for her.
Bogie, we need to be thankful that EM is well physically. At 92, that she can get out and walk on her own is a gift to be appreciated.
We have come to understand that it’s much easier on all if we simply agree with EM and play along. I used to try to fill her in on who was who, but now I let her lead our conversations. Sometimes they are off the wall, and sometimes she is as sharp as she was just a few years ago. I don’t understand how or why our brains work this way, but I will settle for a mother who is not in pain.
Cop Car, thanks for your input on “Walking the halls.” Actually, I’m glad she’s out and about. I’d like for her to meet other residents, and she won’t be able to do that if she confines herself to her room. In addition, if she’s walking, she’ll have a better appetite. I’m still concerned with her weight loss.
How lucky you were to have had good visits with Pop. You must have made quite an impression on him!