What's in a car name?

The Taurus revolutionized family sedans in the mid-1980s. While other cars were building boring boxes, the Taurus was curvy. Different. Modern-looking. More recent incarnations had nothing to offer because other companies leap-frogged the T in value, features and style. Even the vanilla Honda Accord started to look sleeker. We'll have to see if renaming the 500 will help slumping sales. Critically, the car is well-made and fun to drive. I still think it offers very little in the way of style, but that's a beholder view.

I've driven cars ranging from heaps to rather nice, but rarely have they been appropriately named.

• 1980 Mercury Monarch: No member of the royal family would dare darken its sticky vinyl seats. They were red, as was nearly everything else inside and outside the car. Save for the fake burled-walnut dash treatment.

• 1985 BMW 318i: German companies are usually so straight-forward with their names. BMW, Mercedes and Audi typically use numbers or strange Germanized words to describe their cars. Only Volkswagen gets creative, although the cars are becoming less interesting lately. For my little four-door 318, that was fine. It was fun to drive and about as sexy as a boxy four-door sedan could get. Also red, but tan/black on the inside. Sometimes I miss that car. At least the sunroof. Not the repair costs.

• 1995 Isuzu Rodeo: oddly enough, I drove it to a few rodeos. But mainly that name had nothing to do with its main uses ... camping, towing a boat, traveling, getting groceries, commuting to and from work and eventually hauling the family around. I don't know how many cowboys would be proud to drive a Japanese-designed SUV. Most of 'em I saw had beat-up American pickups. Yee haw!

• 1988 Acura Legend. This was the Petite Filet's car when we got married. A nice, solid little car with a V-6 and 5-speed. But really, the only "legendary" thing about it was how the sunroof leaked. Water would collect when it rained, and then you'd get going and it would dump a few gallons on your head. Good times.

• 2001 Ford Mustang GT. Ahhhh. This was our "stupid" car. We were stupid to buy it because a) it's among the least practical cars ever invented, save for the Corvette. b) when two young, married and apparently fertile people buy an impractical car, it means they will soon have a baby. This happened, the PF stayed home with him for 18 months and the Mustang became an automotive albatross. Why? Because they don't hold their value. At all. So try to sell it a few years later and you lose money. Try to keep driving it, and the gasoline and insurance begins to kill you. Especially on the one salary. Fun car, but it was nothing like riding a horse.

• 1998 Dodge Ram. This replaced the Mustang when we were able to finally ditch it. The pickup proved versatile and a pretty good family hauler for a fam of 3. However, it started limping because of its advanced mileage, and a pickup is an awful hauler for a fam of 4, at least when the two littlest members are in car seats that barely fit (or don't fit) in the rear seat. I miss its ability to haul lumber and other big homey things in its bed.

• 2005 Subaru Outback wagon. This is my current car, and I really like it. Although the name makes me think of Australia (and actor Paul Hogan, who was an early spokesman for the vehicle) or the steakhouse of the same name. I've actually driven it off-road a bit (on a beach, and "out back" of my house where there's nothing but empty field), but mainly it's an on-road all-wheel-drive cocoon against slick streets and stupid people. Gotta love the six airbags and nearly 9 inches of ground clearance. Never thought I'd drive a wagon, but I like it tons more than my old SUV.

• 2007 Mazda 5. This is the PF's current car. I'm not sure the "5" designation is an inspiration, but its perfect size for us and cool features outweigh the moniker. It is a cross between a minivan (sliding doors, three rows of seating up to 6 people) and a car (it's shorter and narrower outside than my Outback). But it's got 17-inch alloys, a sunroof, steering-wheel audio controls and a "Zoom Zoom" sticker on the back window. Gobs of people-space inside. She loves it. It's not fast, but it's quick, like a minivan-sports car. The fact that she actually loves it (a minivan) is a testament to how cool it is. She calls it her Fun Wagon, which I think would've been a better name for it.

By the way, I think the AMC Gremlin is among the best-fitting names for a car. A friend in high school had one, and I believe there were gremlins in the beastly engine.

What are some memorable cars you've had, and how did the model name affect your feelings for it?