I'm a writer, not a blogger!

If I were a blogger, I'd visit your blogs more often. Please note this isn't because I don't love and care about you. I've just been so busy that I'm not getting anything done that has to be tackled, much less the fun stuff. New baby, etc.

Happy New Year, by the way! Isn't it kind of strange how we're all sentenced to wander around this month saying how we can't believe it's 2007, and where did 2006 go and miswriting all our checks with the ol' "06" and remembering back to the third grade when we calculated where we'd be in the year 2000? Yeah, people, it's seven years later! Where did all that time go?

I've sort of already told you my resolution for 2007: by August, I will be fit enough to ride my bicycle 100 miles in one day. I'm so nutty! So the following are my anti-resolutions. Things that won't change about me in the coming year.

• I'll continue to wear shorts even though it's 30 degrees outside. In fact, just minutes ago I returned from walking the dog while I was wearing a heavy wool peacoat, leather gloves lined with Thinsulate™, a knitted hat and ... drumroll please ... shorts! Just because you can see your breath, that's no reason you shouldn't also see my knees. Party on!

• As time passes, I will continue to believe that I used to be a lot funnier. I give you three-plus years of Texas T-bone archives as evidence.

• I will contend alwaysandforever that Apple computers are much better than Windows PCs. This isn't to say that Windows doesn't have its place in the world (mostly at the curb), but to say that I am stubborn. I use a PC at work; my home computer and my laptop are Macs. This makes me, of course, an expert. Whatever!

• On that note, Ford and Chevy are exactly the same, Toyota is slightly better than Nissan, Honda is tons better than Dodge and having a car when you want one is tons better than walking. At least in the rain. Otherwise, walking is best. Or bicycling. But what do I know anymore? I drive a station wagon.

• There will be no circumstance during which I enjoy hearing my recorded voice. I'm amazed to be happily married, gainfully employed and accepted by society sounding like I do. Come to think of it, I think the fry cook was snickering in the drive thru last week. I'm a writer, not a paid commencement speaker! Bummer!

• I will keep serving in the capacity as Chief Cleaner. I do most of the laundry and do most of the cleaning (not all, by any stretch). I am still a man. A manly man's man. Or maybe a manly woman's man. It's just that cleanliness is next to T-boney-ness. Why wallow in filth when you can complain about it at the same time? If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean. Where's my mop?

• Daddy will still be my favorite job, especially now that I'm twice-blessed.

• I'll make silly lists. Nobody wants to live listlessly, right?

• I'll start giggling at inappropriate times.

• I'll probably bore you with the details.

• I'll waste your time here.

Did I already wish you a Happy New Year? Can you believe it's already 2007?