It's rare that I'll go to a full-service, sit-down, laminated-menu restaurant by myself anymore. It's either me and the fam, a co-worker or two, or a coupla buddies chowing down together. But Tuesday night I needed to buy some gift cards for my work-peeps at a predominant family bar & grill, so I decided to grab a little din-din there as well before having to cover a city council meeting.
When you're by yourself ...
• It takes the greeter-people at the door a few minutes to see you, despite the fact there were five of them standing around talking to each other. When you are finally acknowledged, they ask you, "How many?" You must say something sheepishly and painfully obvious, like, "Just me!"
• The waiter shows up six or seven minutes later and offers you an alcoholic drink because by golly, if you've come to a predominant family bar & grill all by yourself, you must need one. I stick to water because I've got to work after strappin' on the ol' feed harness.
• You have to pee. You dread what is going to happen. It's inevitable. It is probably the most degrading thing of flying solo at an eatery. You get up, wistfully wave goodbye to your drink and head to the restroom. Upon your return, the awful thing has happened. Despite being a clean, nearly full glass of water with a newly inserted straw, an overzealous bus-person has swiped it. She doesn't work all that quickly, though, and you spot it from the corner of your eye being jostled around – straw still intact – in a large brown plastic tub. Oh, the cruelty! It takes another six or seven minutes for the waiter to check back with you and he gives you a funny look, because, there you are sans beverage although he thinks he remembers giving you one. You explain, and new liquid refreshment is procured for you.
• A food-server brings out your food and tries to hide her sympathy for your lonely state. She lingers, sort of winks at you, and asks you to cut into your burger to see if it's cooked the way you like it. Thankfully it is, although you had ordered a chicken sandwich. She's so nice, though, that you don't want to rock the boat or disappoint her. Besides, she also notices something that up until then you had not fully realized. That eager-beaver-table-cleaner had also made way with your little stack of napkins and fork. The server replenishes your eating and mouth-wiping implements and rushes off to fill other tables full of overpriced, barely edible crap.
• My receipt (which shows an obnoxiously large total because of the three gift cards) arrives and, behold, features an invitation to complete an opinion survey and enter for a chance to win $25,000. I wonder if anyone ever reads those things, and if it's worth it to hop online and relive the experience just to let 'em have it. With my luck, I'll win the money and it will come in the form of freakin' gift cards at the restaurant. If that happens, I'm buying you all lunch.
Remember, folks, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dining (or for that matter, living) alone. Just make sure you don't have to pee, that you are open to receiving something you didn't order and that you don't have to return to work afterward. The whole experience could have been solved with a margarita (on the rocks, a little salt on the rim). Although if the bus-person had taken that before its time, the replacement would have had to be a double.
My employees had better like their @#$^^&!! gift cards.
Hence the reason I hate to go out someplace by myself even though I love Dallas, I hate going out and having all those pitiful looks from people.
I used to dine alone. I used to go to movies alone. I was never really bothered by it. Well, not until the last movie I went to, and I can't explain why it struck me that time, but it did. I don't do it so much anymore, but I can totally relate to each and every point on here. It is good to note, that if you have to pee, pee when you only have a drink, and NOT ONCE YOUR MEAL COMES or you can just kiss that goodbye, too.
What a blow-by-blow account. Still can't get over that fact your menus were laminated.
if eating alone, always eat at the bar. the bartender never treats you like a loser, always watches, and is usually the quickest service in the place for an eating customer. then, eating alone is not so bad. plus, there are usually tvs.
another note, i don't think people look at men the same way they do women who eat alone...
I actually love to eat lunch (but never dinner for some reason) alone, with a book or a paper. But you are so right on the pee issue....I just never go. I wish tables had liitle flags on them so you could flip it up to signal, 'OCCUPIED!'
I ALWAYS got the best tip from the guy dining alone! More people should dine alone!
If they don't like their gift cards, can I have them? I got a snowman candle!
Don't tell my sister but that is the prettiest baby I have ever seen! I can't believe he is so tiny and cute. Usually when they are that tiny they look like little goobers and I have to fake that I think they are cute.
Sigh. I kinda like dining alone, but hate the feeling that others are feeling sorry for me. With a book it's perfect, frankly. And I agree better service with less sympathy-type-stuff at the bar.