Go go gadget T-bone!

In honor of the new James Bond film opening this Friday, I've been thinking about what kinds of gadgets would make my life easier. Actor Daniel Craig is taking over the role, and it's a reset of sorts, based on Ian Fleming's first novel of the Bond series, Casino Royale. Gadgets are reportedly not a big part of the film as it's more a study of how the character became 007. Whatever, gimme some gadgets!

Here's 10 supersecret spy gadgets I wish I had:

1. Stapler-watch. It's almost 2007, and I should be able to fasten pieces of paper together with the flick of my wrist. Sheesh!

2. ShouldaSaidIt™ Translator. A device that would turn whatever stupid thing I actually say into something clever, suave and appropriate.

3. TuxFit. I actually own a tuxedo (something that's come in handy a suprising number of times), but I wish it would automatically fit me whenever I put it on. Um, it doesn't. Hard to look like a double agent when the butt-seam on your pants splits wide open when you pop out of the ol' Aston Martin.

4. Solar-powered, portable margarita machine. I've never been a fan of martinis, shaken, stirred or jostled.

5. Bumper-mounted machine gun mounts. This one is obvious to anyone who's ever been stuck in traffic.

6. Hovercraft/bicycle. Do I really need to explain why?

7. Magic calendar. I wish I had more days off. Get right on that, won't you, Q?

8. An expense account. I know it's not really a gadget; I've just always wanted one. And while we're not talking gadgets, how about give my boss a hot secretary who flirts with me?

9. Ballpoint pen/grappling hook. Whenever my writing hits a wall, I'd like to be able to toss a line and climb over it.

10. Flying umbrella. That's probably more Mary Poppins than James Bond, but wouldn't that be neat? Chim-chiminey, chim-chim-charoo!